Chapter 19: ’Who knows when... ’
Song-rik had been fussing over the things that Doha did to him in the car.
He had essentially ran away to the bathroom to escape Doha in a panic.
But now after finally deciding to go out and get his sexy time with his boyfriend, he had accidentally overhead the things the two alphas were talking about.
"I asked how long before you ditch Jang Song-rik."
Oh Ryujin’s cold voice was very audible in the empty house.
Song-rik instinctively hid behind the wall upstairs. He wasn’t one to eavesdrop but he missed his time to enter and now the conversation had gone to a completely different direction.
"I don’t think I understand what you mean, Mr. Friend," Doha’s voice sounded icy suddenly.
"Come on, we both know you aren’t dating Jang Song-rik because you actually love him."
Ryujin thought a lot and in the end, he just couldn’t stop himself from interfering.
It’s just wrong to leave things be like this when I know what this asshole would do.
He just wanted to scare off Doha so that Song-rik wouldn’t get into any unnecessary trouble.
"Then why do you think I am dating him?" Doha asked with an unexplainable expression on his face.
"Money? It could just be that you just wanted to know how it’s like to fuck a rich omega," Ryujin kept saying things to provoke Doha. "Or you could just be a bastard looking to make it big by reeling in an innocent omega. I know your kind very well."
"..."
"What? Cat got your tongue?"
Doha felt angry. Very unnecessarily angry.
He wasn’t one to get irritated or upset fast. If anything he had too much patience. Only two people had managed to get him beyond his patience in anger, one was Noona and now, one was Oh Ryujin.
"I think you’re asking this question from the wrong person," Doha smiled bitterly. "Shouldn’t you be asking this from hyung?"
"Whatever does that mean? Are you just talking shit since you got caught?"
"I know that I’m not a good match for someone like hyung. If anything, I’ll just hold him down with my situation."
"It’s good that you’re aware."
Though you shouldn’t be this mature...
"But... love doesn’t come with wealth, sir," Doha looked right at Ryujin in the face.
His decision to be nice in front of Ryujin vanished the moment Ryujin started spouting all nonsense to him.
Yes, he did start dating Song-rik without actual feelings but as he spent time with him, he had found out something very special.
That person was a very lovable.
Ah... I’m so fucked...
"I love Jang Song-rik with my entire being," Doha said out straight. "I wasn’t willing to date someone like him at first because I was afraid of catching feelings. But hyung is... so beautiful and... cute that I had no choice but to go for it. I can’t even think about harming him much less ripping him off. If anyone should be afraid of getting ditched in this relationship, it’s me,sir."
"..."
"Who knows when... he’ll lose the meagre interest he has in me and I will just disappear from his life. The thought that I will no longer see hyung... huh?"
*drip
*drip
Tears started falling out of Doha’s eyes. He looked confused. He had valid reasons to be.
Yeon Doha never cried. Even before he transmigrated into The Forgotten Flower, Doha never cried.
Things hardly made it so for him that he would cry. Even the hardest of struggles and setbacks didn’t broke him to tears.
But the thought of never seeing Jang Song-rik again...
Shit... I... When did I...?
And another person was panicking.
Ryujin looked at Doha as if he had seem a ghost. How was this Yeon Doha so different from the one she wrote?!
Noona had even used her trashy cheating ex boyfriend of five years as a model for Yeon Doha.
He shouldn’t be gospeling his love for Jang Song-rik around but doing all sorts of trashy things. How is he such a good boy?!
And now Ryujin was feeling sorry for making a good kid cry.
"Dohaya," Song-rik’s voice echoed a bit too loud as he came down the stairs.
"Hyung! Since when did you... Did you hear everything?" Doha could tell from Song-rik’s face.
He had indeed heard everything and it broke his heart to finally know how Doha saw him.
All this time, Yeon Doha was trying his best to be loved by Jang Song-rik because he had fallen in love and was afraid of being abandoned by Song-rik.
Suddenly, all the little memories they together until then changed meaning.
He wasn’t loving or dating me... he was pleasing me so I wouldn’t leave him.
Come to think of it... did I ever tell him how much I...?
Suddenly, even looking at Yeon Doha was difficult for Song-rik. It hit in the guts to look at Doha who now somehow looked pitiful.
Song-rik suddenly started noticing things he didn’t before.
The slightest foundation covering Doha’s dark circles from overworking to make time for him.
’I’ll make time for you, hyung.’
These words suddenly sounded like pleas.
Then his clothes that obviously weren’t his style but he brought them and wore them just to impress him.
His rough hands and slightly overgrown hair.
There were a hundred more things Song-rik could count.
Did I make him that insecure that he was trying so hard?
Oh Ryujin’s presence had diminished beyond ignorance.
"Song-rik," He called out to his friend who just intensely staring at his boyfriend. "I had something important... oh... I understand. I’ll come back later."
Ryujin had seen the look of absolute hate on Song-rik’s face as he quietly backed away and left the house.
Now with just the two of them, Song-rik couldn’t bring himself to say anything.
"Hyung...?"
A pang of pain and anger peirced Song-rik’s heart. He couldn’t bear to even look at the poor guy.
"I think you should return home, Dohaya," he told him looking away.
"Why? Are you mad at me, hyung?" Doha pleaded as he softly held the sleeve of Song-rik’s shirt.
"I think we both need to rest today. It’s late so take the car, the driver will drop you off."
"I can just rest here, hyung. So please tell me why you’re so mad?"
"I’m not mad, so just go home, Doha."
"Then why won’t you look at me?"
Song-rik froze at his spot.
"Do you not... want to look at me? Do I..."
...look disgusting to you now after what Ryujin said. Do you also think I’m dating you for money?
Doha couldn’t bring himself to ask these questions out loud. He felt as if the answers to these questions would break him.
He had just realised he was in love with Jang Song-rik.
"If I try harder and be good, if I treat you even better, if I... go home, would you look at me then?" He asked at last.
"Yes."
"..."
"..."
"Good night, hyung. And I don’t need the car."
"Dohaya."
"..."
"Let’s... not meet. For a while."
"..."
Doha just left the house in a hurry and Jang Song-rik didn’t look at him until the end.
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