Chapter 20: Waiting...
Yeon Doha returned late home by himself and went straight to his bed.
He didn’t know what to feel or what he was feeling.
It was all just hurting and painful.
Like something was ripped out of his guts and thrown away to a place he couldn’t get it back from.
Doha couldn’t sleep that night. He wasn’t crying or sad all the time. He just felt nothing. No thoughts but time felt as if it was stopping.
He felt stiffled so he went out for a run early morning.
Yeon Soohi ssaw him as went while going to the bathroom with confusion.
Running on the road, the cold wind chaffing his face and hands felt, Doha kept running anyway.
Coming back home, he immediately left for his cafe shift. He didn’t say a single word to Soohi and Mirae. He ate his breakfast and ... just left.
Doha was usually quiet but he seemed to have lost even the little voice had.
Mirae gave Soohi a look as if asking she knew what was up, Soohi shook her head.
The day at the cafe was normal. Doha took orders, made the drinks, served them. During the end of his shift, he started cleaning up even when it wasn’t his part.
"Can I please?" He asked the next shift person when they came.
"Uh... sure," The person replied.
Doha deep cleaned the entire cafe within an hour. That hour was the only free time he had to rest between his cafe and bar shifts.
As soon as he finished, he picked up his stuff and left for the bar.
There too, everything was normal, Yohan complained about being single as usual, he served drinks as usual and got hit on as usual.
The shift ended after deep cleaning the bar counter.
Yohan must’ve have sensed something that he kept asking if something was wrong the entire time after the deep clean.
"No, nothing’s wrong," Doha told him. "What could possibly go wrong?"
This is just how it’s always been...
"If you say so... Just know you can always reach out to me, okay?"
"Okay."
Doha returned home a bit later after going for a run. He came when Soohi and Mirae were already asleep amd his dinner was put on the table with a note to warm it,
He didn’t bother warming it and just ate it as it is. He cleaned his dishes. Then the counter, and the sink, then the entire kitchen.
He went for a bath after that and ended up deep cleaning the bathroom too. Rubbing and scratching even the most stubborn stains for hours.
It was one in the morning when he finally came out and laid on his bed.
...
...
He couldn’t sleep again. There were no thoughts in his head. He wasn’t feeling anything.
Suddenly his phone chimed. He yanked it up and looked. It was just a promotional message for loans.
Doha stared at it for a long time. Then he opened contacts. He stared at Jang Song-rik’s number. And kept staring... until the sun was up.
Nothing.
A week passed in a haze. Doha was slowly becoming visibly daunt. His dark circles were getting worse. And he slowly starting to lose focus.
He almost got hit by car while stumbling across the road.
He fell a short flight of stairs.
His pheromones were getting their normal release and were causing sudden bouts of internal intoxication. He started throwing up food because of that.
And then he suddenly passed out on the bar counter while mixing drinks.
"Seriously!! What the hell is wrong with you?" Yohan yelled as Doha woke up in the staff room after a while. "Have you even been sleeping, you ghost bastard?!"
"..."
There was no reply from Doha as usual. He had stopped talking at all from a couple of days.
"Fuck! Say something! Am I a dog barking in front of you?" Yohan yanked his shirt.
"..."
"Ha! This little...!"
"Oppa."
Yean Soohi came in with a panicked look and covered in sweat.
"What happened?"
Yohan had called her as soon as Doha passed out.
"I don’t know. I don’t fucking know!" Yohan yelled in frustration. "I keep asking this idiot what it is everyday. But it’s like talking to a wall! He just won’t say anything!"
Soohi looked at Doha. He looked so pathetic with such a drained face that her heart broke.
"Oppa," She spoke. "Are we that unreliable? That you can’t even share what is troubling you with us."
Doha looked up at the almost crying Soohi. This was how he had first seen her when he transmigrated into the novel.
Crying and yelling.
It’s been a while since I saw her like that...
"Soohi," he said. "Really... nothing’s wrong. I’m... I’m just... waiting."
"What?" Soohi looked dumbfounded.
Doha didn’t say anything else and just slowly walked out.
He walked out in the street. He tried to run but he just didn’t have the energy to.
He eventually walked home late into the night. Soohi had already reached home. Thankfully she didn’t say anything to their mother.
Doha couldn’t bother eating. He just went ahead and showered.
He came back to his room and laid on his bed. He picked up his phone.
He opened contacts and again stared at Jang Song-rik’s number.
I’m waiting, hyung...
I can’t fall asleep...
What if he calls me when I’m asleep...
So... I can’t...
...
...
Nothing.
It had been a week. Each night, he had been waiting for a single call... no a single text...
But it never came.
Doubts came to Doha... but he would just make himself busy so that he wouldn’t think anything stupid.
What did I do wrong?
Should I have just begged for forgiveness right then and there?
No... I shouldn’t have followed hyung that night.
I...
I... shouldn’t have fallen in love like an idiot...
I should’ve just left him there the day we met...
I... think...
I would’ve made the same choice even if I went back in time now...
His eyes never moved from the name...
Song-rik hyung ❤️
The heart looked so much uglier now.
But what even worse was that he couldn’t sleep. Now he couldn’t see him even in his dreams.
The night passed, the next day came. Doha hadn’t slept again.
He stood up and walked out. Breakfast was ready. He sat down on the table and began eating his serving.
*drip
*drop
*drip
Large drops of blood fell on his plate as he took the first bite.
Soohi and Mirae’s faces looked horrified as Doha suddenly fell forward onto the table.
"Oppa!!!"
*slide
*crash
"Doha!!!"
After a bit, the noise stopped. It was peaceful, somehow. Like finally laying down after a long walk.
He found himself in a grass field full of roses. He started walking. He walked and walked and walked. Until, he reached a shop... a chocolate shop.
A single shop in the vast field of roses.
Doha walked in. The bells jingled.
"Welcome, dear customer," A very familiar voice chimed from the counter.
Doha ran towards the counter, stumbling and skidding.
The black hair and blue eyes looked ethreal. He shined as he smiled at Doha.
"Hyung..."
Doha jumped over the counter to hold him and as soon as he touched him, he melted down to his knees. All the tears and frustration of waiting flowed out.
"I missed you, hyung! I thought... hic... you left me! Do you really hate me now!"
The cries of that poor alpha echoed across the rose field.
But the Song-rik in his dream just kept standing there smiling without a single response. Just like the real life one...
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