Chapter 48: This person cannot be reformed
"Of course. Hey, little milady, could you call Little Mi from outside?" he immediately addressed that girl and asked.
"What.... What do you plan to do with her? I won’t allow her to be made a slave too!" she suddenly said aggressively.
Everyone, including the captain and the aristocrats, was in shock; even the most heavy-charactered person, Garrett, was in shock, which could be seen by looking at his face. But only Alister maintained that same polite and good face, which did not react in any way to the aggression from this slave girl.
’Man is social by nature; he evolved living in a pack and doing everything as a team, and if you were alone and not in your team, it would mean death for you. The most pragmatic organ, that is, the brain, remembered this very well. But today, the brain has begun to perceive social roles as survival, and I can say that this is true in some sense.’
’If a person dies socially, they actually practically die, and for the brain, such a death is more terrifying than biological death. That is why a person is made to cling to someone or something until the very end so as not to feel lonely, making it the meaning of life and protecting it because before that, the person felt empty, but after that, they began to experience some strange feelings.’
’Of course, this applies not only to this girl but also to other people, and I am no exception. But I was not an exception only in the past. I always assumed that I have a past that was not easy, where I, like ordinary people, felt love and compassion. Otherwise, I cannot explain how I right now know and understand what kind of feeling love or compassion is.’
’Maybe right now I might be mistaken about the girl, but my words are a reality that has already proven this to me several times. And I believe only in the result that has already been shown and proven.’
’It’s as if in my past life I was completely different and now the current me is a consequence of that past, but what kind of past must it have been to create an amoral monster like me, who can destroy everyone yet feel neither sadistic qualities nor, at the same time, compassion?’
’That is precisely why I set a goal for myself-a goal that will reveal everything to me in this world; even if I get answers to my questions, I will not stop for a second, because for me the meaning lies in that which is not finite. But status, money, close people-they are all temporary and will sooner or later disappear. So what is the point of investing one’s energy in them? For the sake of the process? Are you mocking me? In a process that will eventually end?’
’It is precisely the process that will eventually end, and the whole value lies in the fact that it is finite. But when you rise to the peak of the primal truth, the very concept of "human" is erased from you, and then you will not be a part of the universe, but the universe itself will be a part of you.’
’When I reflect on such things, I gain a colossal experience that ordinary people see only as a waste of time, while simultaneously failing to notice that they themselves have fallen into the trap of their own minds.’
And after that, Alister Vane asked himself the main question:
’Do I regret that I turned into who I am now? No, not a drop. The past is not for regret but for gaining experience that will change you, and after that, you yourself will inevitably change. But I believe I have changed enough in the sense of always changing the target. I can change my masks, social roles, relationships, or behavior, but I will never, under any circumstances, change my goal; no matter what obstacle stands in my path, I will crush them with my will, intelligence, and persistence.’
’My persistence and will are higher than even God himself.’
’Even if it sounds selfish, then let it be so; I do not need anyone to call me either a good person or an egoist.’
"Who do you think you are, a slave who isn’t worth a drop of my pity!" the captain immediately began to shout aggressively, being both shocked and angry that some beggar slave dared to speak like that.
"Ah..." the girl was very frightened; apparently, this was because the relationship between the captain and this girl was not very good... well, judging by everything, it was impossible to even call it normal.
"Captain Vincent Coldwell, you are shouting at her too much; we have already made a deal, so she is already mine, isn’t she? Yes, I know I haven’t handed over the money yet, but I will give it right now, so allow me to speak with her," Alister immediately replied politely and gentlemanly to the captain’s aggression and anger.
"Ah..." the captain took a deep breath, after which he said, "Fine, if you want it that way, you can speak," he replied.
’Just as I thought, they are polite only to those on their own level, but gentlemanliness does not consist of being polite to equals; that is outward hypocrisy. It consists of being polite to everyone because one simply cannot be any other way. It is their law. But for me, it is a tool.’
After that, he looked at the girl who stood there frightened, but a certain confidence could be seen in her eyes.
"Milady, no one here wants to make Little Mi a slave. I’ll tell you even more-on the contrary, no one has the right to make her a slave. She is my daughter whom I love very much, so she is safe with me," Alister said.
"What? She... is your daughter? I just thought you would make her like me too. I talked to her recently and didn’t want that, but if she is your daughter, then judging by everything-by your character-she really is safe," she replied.
"Thank you for your understanding; to strengthen my words, call Little Mi here and you will see for yourself."
"Alright," saying these words, she left the room.
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