Chapter 300: Step On the Nose and Onto the Face
Li Banfeng had been thinking about the oil can the whole time, but he never expected to step out the door and end up in a lake of oil.
How did a lake of oil suddenly appear? Wasn't I in Freewind Wharf? How did I end up in this place?
Faint ripples shimmered across the surface of the lake, yet not a single star could be seen in the night sky.
Is this a New Land? Or is it an Old Land?
Oil had little buoyancy and high viscosity, so swimming through it was extremely exhausting.
Li Banfeng glanced at the shoreline. It was quite far away. Then he looked at the small island in the middle of the lake, which was fewer than a hundred meters from him.
Logically speaking, he should swim toward the shore. However, after swimming only a few meters toward the shore, Li Banfeng sensed that something was wrong. Some kind of creature in the oil lake seemed to have locked onto him. Regardless of what kind of creature it was, Li Banfeng would likely be at a disadvantage if he were to fight it in the oil lake.
I should get on land first and observe the situation.
Li Banfeng quickly swam over to the small island instead. He was covered in oil, and the rocks on the small island were also slick with oil, so he could not climb up.
He had been so focused on swimming from the moment he stepped out of the Pocket Dwelling that he had temporarily forgotten about his enchanted artifacts. Some of the enchanted artifacts he carried could fly.
Li Banfeng patted the Tang Saber and the Liquor Gourd. The Tang Saber flew to the small island, and the Liquor Gourd washed the grease off the Tang Saber's scabbard with liquor. Li Banfeng grabbed the scabbard and let it pull him onto the small island.
The island was small enough that he could see the other end of it with just one glance.
At the center of the island, there was a spring. Li Banfeng stepped over to it and sniffed it. The spring contained water, not oil.
He took out the Liquor Gourd and said, "Older Sister, give me some good liquor. Let me wash off all this grease."
The Liquor Gourd was uncomfortable too. "Wash me too. I feel all sticky. It's unbearable."
The Tang Saber was fine, though. "This is fine oil. Just wash my hilt. You don't have to wash the blade."
The Blood-Drinking Pendulum also knew that the oil was of good quality. However, she worried Li Banfeng would dislike it, so she spent a moment feeling conflicted over whether to ask to be washed.
Li Banfeng washed himself clean and washed his clothes too, but he had nothing to change into. He was surrounded by oil, so he did not dare to light a fire. He simply stayed naked and let himself slowly air-dry.
Li Banfeng had also washed the Glove clean. Mixed in with the pile of Li Banfeng's clothes, the Glove quietly took a few banknotes from Li Banfeng's wallet.
Li Banfeng looked around, quietly observing the unfamiliar place. It looked very familiar, as if he had been there before. Yet, he could not recall when or what he had done there.
As he watched ripples spread across the lake, Li Banfeng finally figured it out. He had been there in a dream.
In the dream, he had sat on a cruise ship with the Gramophone and spent a romantic time drifting on a calm sea, beneath the glow of the setting sun.
But what I dreamed of back then was the sea. Why did I end up on a lake? Could something have gone wrong in my dream?
Li Banfeng patted the Liquor Gourd, who had just finished getting clean.
She chided him, "Don't keep patting my butt in front of so many people. Do you really think I have no shame?"
Li Banfeng asked, "Did I do anything unusual while I was asleep?"
The Liquor Gourd thought about it for a moment. "You didn't do anything unusual. You just said a few words in your sleep."
"What did I say?"
"You seemed to keep saying, 'oil lake.' I suppose this must be the place, right?"
I said "oil lake"...
"I clearly said oil can!"
Li Banfeng was furious.
Last time, it was because he had looked at a photo of Blackstone Slope that the Pocket Dwelling had dragged Li Banfeng there.
This time, it was because he had muttered "oil can" a few times while he was dreaming. The Pocket Dwelling had combined the "oil can" with the scenes from his dream and dragged him to this oil lake, a place he had never been to before.
The Pocket Dwelling has been going a little too far lately.
You want to drag me all over the place? Fine. But you didn't even bring the key. You didn't even think about how I'm supposed to get back.
I need to find a chance to communicate with it.
After waiting for over an hour, Li Banfeng put on his damp clothes and started thinking about how to leave this place.
The Liquor Gourd reminded him, "Little Brodie, we just washed ourselves clean... Do we have to swim to the shore soon?"
Li Banfeng did not want to swim through the oil again. He kept feeling like he was being watched, and there was likely more than one creature watching them.
He looked around the small island. There was some wild grass but no trees, so it did not seem feasible to make a raft.
Aside from using a raft, is there any other way we can get to the shore?
The Judge's Brush!
Li Banfeng took out the Judge's Brush. He drew a circle on the ground, pointed at the shore, and exclaimed, "Let's go there!"
After waiting for about ten minutes, the Judge's Brush said just two words. "Too far."
Li Banfeng replied angrily, "You've rested for so many days, and a few hundred meters is still too far for you?"
The Judge's Brush took a deep breath and put all its focus into saying five words. "Rest for two more days."
Li Banfeng wanted to throw the Judge's Brush into the lake, but in the end, he could not bring himself to do it.
Since the Judge's Brush was no use, Li Banfeng looked at the Tang Saber and asked seriously, "Do you know how to be a flight sword?"
The Tang Saber answered just as seriously, "I am a saber."
"That doesn't matter. As long as the spirit is there!"
The Tang Saber's cultivation had improved quite a bit recently. With Li Banfeng gripping the Tang Saber's scabbard, the Tang Saber could indeed carry Li Banfeng into the air, but after flying about ten meters, the Tang Saber suddenly plunged toward the lake.
"What are you doing?!" Li Banfeng cried out in alarm.
The Tang Saber struggled to control his direction and flew Li Banfeng back to the small island.
"My lord, there was a cold wind dragging me toward the oil. I truly couldn't control myself. Please allow me to try again!"
Li Banfeng looked at the glistening yellow surface of the lake and shivered.
The shiver had come out of nowhere. According to his ability Seeking Fortune and Avoiding Calamity, this was a sign of great danger.
Let the Tang Saber try again? I'd better not. Is there a safer way?
Li Banfeng gathered his enchanted artifacts to discuss a plan.
Film Projector, the newest addition, made a suggestion. "I could try doing something. I could project a boat onto the lake, but I need a support point that can fly steadily."
In terms of flight stability, the Blood-Drinking Pendulum was undoubtedly the best. She was not very strong, but it should not be too hard for her to carry one projector.
The hardest part would be controlling the Film Projector's light source. He used candlelight as his light source. If even one spark fell from the candle, it was not hard to imagine what would happen to the oil lake. Whether they could keep it steady would depend on the Blood-Drinking Pendulum's skill.
The Blood-Drinking Pendulum flew into the air, suspending the Film Projector over the lake. The Film Projector then cast a small boat onto the lake.
Li Banfeng boarded the boat with all his enchanted artifacts and slowly rowed across the lake.
The Blood-Drinking Pendulum flew slowly overhead the boat.
Steady. We have to keep everything steady.
Li Banfeng rowed steadily, the Blood-Drinking Pendulum flew steadily, and the Film Projector's projection remained steady too.
The small island was approximately seven or eight hundred meters from the shore. They had covered about half the distance when a fierce gust of wind suddenly blew over.
The hologram shook violently.
Li Banfeng cried out, "Keep it steady!"
The Blood-Drinking Pendulum did her best to hold steady, but unfortunately, she failed.
The Film Projector kept swaying, and the hologram swayed along with it. Without his excellent coordination as a Wanderlust Cultivator, Li Banfeng would have fallen into the lake.
When the wind finally subsided, Li Banfeng prepared to resume rowing forward. However, a spark appeared on the lake. It had fallen from the Film Projector. But because of all the jolting earlier, no one had noticed it.
From a single spark, it grew into a surging wave of flames headed straight for Li Banfeng. He grabbed the oars and rowed frantically toward the shore.
But he took action too late. In the blink of an eye, the lake turned into a sea of fire, and the small boat caught fire as well.
The things the Film Projector created had physical form, and anything with physical form would be affected by the environment.
The Film Projector tried to restore the small boat, but the fire was spreading faster than the Film Projector could restore the boat.
Li Banfeng grabbed the Tang Saber and cried out, "Go!"
The Tang Saber tried to fly, but the air currents were too chaotic because of the roaring flames. He could not lift Li Banfeng into the air.
A weapon was still a weapon, not a means of transport. Faced with this kind of situation, the Tang Saber had no way to respond.
In this critical moment, the only other option Li Banfeng had was to jump into the lake, hide beneath the surface of the oil, and stay submerged until he reached the shore.
But beneath the surface, something enormous was moving. Li Banfeng had already seen its outline.
Just as Li Banfeng was considering between the two deadly choices, the Judge's Brush said, "This is manageable."
What's manageable?
Of course, the Judge's Brush meant the distance was manageable. The full distance had been too far, but half of it was no problem.
The Judge's Brush carried Li Banfeng and all the enchanted artifacts to the shore. Once they landed, Li Banfeng burrowed into the sandy gravel and rolled around, putting out the flames on his body first.
By the time he got back on his feet and looked at the oil lake again, the fire on the lake had gone out as well. The mirrorlike surface of the lake only rippled occasionally. It was as if nothing had happened at all.
Sensing that danger was closing in, Li Banfeng gathered his enchanted artifacts and set off hurriedly.
A good deal of his hair had been burned.
The Blood-Drinking Pendulum kept trying to comfort him. "Master, don't worry. Once we get back home, I'll tidy it up properly for you. I guarantee it'll look better than your original hairstyle."
Nevertheless, Li Banfeng had no time to care about his hairstyle. He walked faster and faster.
After walking more than two hundred meters, Li Banfeng slipped. He struggled for a bit in the same spot, slipping repeatedly for several steps' worth before he finally found his footing again.
Li Banfeng then looked toward the side of the path. A man of around fifty years of age was sitting there, and he looked up at Li Banfeng.
"Leaving already?" the middle-aged man asked with a smile.
Li Banfeng looked at the middle-aged man's face. It was fairly ordinary. His eyes were a little small, his eyebrows a little thick, his nose bridge slightly low, and the tip of his nose very round. Overall, he looked like a kind-faced middle-aged man.
However, there was one unusual thing. His skin was far too glossy. It glistened brightly under the moonlight, and beads of oil occasionally slid slowly down his cheeks.
"Since you're already here, could you keep me company and talk for a while? It's been so long since anyone spoke to me," the middle-aged man said, carrying a pleading note in his tone.
Li Banfeng looked down at his feet. There was only dirt and sand, without a single drop of oil.
Why was he still slipping when there were no oil streaks on the ground? The reason could be very complicated, but there was only one conclusion. The middle-aged man with an oil-covered face was far more powerful than Li Banfeng.
If he wants to chat, we'll just have a chat then.
Li Banfeng glanced at his feet again, and the middle-aged man smiled, signaling that Li Banfeng could walk now.
As he sat down beside the middle-aged man, Li Banfeng habitually offered him a cigarette and asked, "Are you the master of this place?"
"This is indeed my place," the middle-aged man answered with a nod. However, he did not take Li Banfeng's cigarette.
Li Banfeng noticed that the cigarette was stained with oil and awkwardly put it away.
Seeing that, the middle-aged man quickly explained, "I'm not looking down on your cigarette. I just don't feel like smoking today. I've had some internal heat[1] these past two days, and quite a few pimples have broken out on my face."
Li Banfeng took a closer look. The middle-aged man's face did indeed have quite a few pimples, especially on his nose. Most of them had whiteheads, and the fluid inside looked as if it would ooze out at any moment.
The middle-aged man touched his nose and smiled bitterly. "These pimples are especially uncomfortable. They burst as soon as I touch them, but I can't squeeze anything out."
Li Banfeng advised him, "You can't squeeze them randomly. You need to find one that has fully ripened before you can squeeze it out."
The middle-aged man looked at Li Banfeng very seriously. "Which one do you think has fully ripened?"
Li Banfeng pointed at one of the pimples and said, "I think this one is about ready. Look, the whitehead has already turned dark. Apply a little force, and the fluid should come out."
The middle-aged man found that pimple and pinched its base with his thumb and index finger. He put in some force, and the tip of the pimple quickly bulged.
Pop!
The pimple burst, and a glob of grease sprayed out, landing beside it.
It was just the bursting of one pimple, yet what followed was a huge commotion. Why? Because this was not just a pimple.
Li Banfeng turned to look at the lake and saw the small island at its center fly into the air, carrying a large amount of grease with it. It landed on the shore of the oil lake.
The pimple had been squeezed out, leaving the site of the pimple with a wound that bled a little. Then the glistening yellow oil lake turned red.
The middle-aged man looked at Li Banfeng, feeling pleased to be relieved of some of his discomfort.
He smiled and asked Li Banfeng, "Do you know where you are?"
Li Banfeng went blank for a moment. "I think... I seem to have climbed onto your face."
The middle-aged man smiled and rubbed his nose. "Exactly. You climbed right up my nose!"
1. It’s a thing in traditional Chinese medicine. If you eat too much “heaty” food, you’ll have excess internal heat, which then leads to pimples etc. Oily foods are among them. ☜
