Chapter 301: Face Not-Big
Such a massive lake of oil was only a single bump on the middle-aged man's face. The island in the middle of the lake was the hard core at the center of that bump.
Li Banfeng was still trying to make sense of one question.
Where exactly am I right now? On his face? I am standing on someone else's face...
It was not an easy idea to wrap his head around, but Li Banfeng managed to understand it. He would just treat it as this man having an enormous face.
The problem was that he could still see the middle-aged man in front of him. Not as some vast, world-sized being, but at a normal size from a normal distance.
So I am standing on this man's face while looking at this same man.
That part was much harder to understand.
What kind of dimensional being is this man?
The middle-aged man cupped his fist toward Li Banfeng. "Allow me to introduce myself. My surname is Face, and my name is Face Not-Big."
Li Banfeng hurriedly returned the salute. "My surname is Li, and my name is Li Not-Crazy."
Face Not-Big stared at Li Banfeng for a long while. Then, with a grave expression, he said, "My face really isn't big. Even my wife says my face isn't big."
Li Banfeng nodded in agreement. "And I am really not crazy. Even the doctors said I am definitely not crazy."
Face Not-Big blinked. "You are a slick one, aren't you?"
Li Banfeng shook his head. "You have misunderstood. I am very sincere."
The middle-aged man smiled. "I admire people like that. Smooth, slick, and hard to pin down."
Li Banfeng answered with perfect seriousness, "Whether you admire me or not, I have always been an honest man."
"Since you are so honest, answer me this. How did you find this place?"
That question genuinely stumped Li Banfeng.
"Would you believe me if I said I don't know either?"
Face Not-Big shook his head. Clearly, he did not believe a word of it. "Someone from the Inner Provinces sent you here, didn't they? Was it the Neck-Choker? The Ear-Stuffer? The Hand-Chopper? The Mouth-Blocker? Or the Eye-Coverer?"
Li Banfeng looked completely lost. "What kind of people are these?"
Face Not-Big lowered his head slightly and raised his brows, studying Li Banfeng's face. "You don't know them? You have already made it all the way to me, and you still want to deny it?"
Li Banfeng frowned. "If I don't know them, then I don't know them. What is there to deny?"
Face Not-Big let out a couple of low chuckles. "Fine. Let's say you are not from the Inner Provinces. Then answer me this. Have you ever seen a car?"
Li Banfeng nodded. "I have."
"Did the cars you saw run on coal or fuel oil?"
"I have seen both," Li Banfeng answered.
There were steam-powered cars in Greenwater City, though not many.
Face Not-Big continued asking, "Puluo Province doesn't have cars that run on oil. Are you from the Outer Provinces?"
Li Banfeng answered vaguely, "I have been there before."
Face Not-Big rubbed his oily, gleaming cheek and kept shaking his head. "How could someone from the Outer Provinces possibly find me? How could they have that kind of ability?
"I don't believe a word you are saying. I don't even believe that's your real name."
Li Banfeng remained calm. "If you won't believe anything I say, why ask me in the first place? No matter what I say, the result will be the same."
Face Not-Big smiled. "I was bored, that's all. I just wanted someone to talk to. You are right. No matter what you say, the result will be the same. I won't let you leave this place alive."
Li Banfeng shot to his feet and ran.
Face Not-Big planted one foot against the ground and slid after him, gliding as smoothly as if he were skating. He followed at an unhurried pace and asked, "Are you a Wanderlust Cultivator? That footwork of yours is quite rare. Who taught it to you?"
Li Banfeng ignored him. There was a hill ahead, so he climbed up the slope.
Face Not-Big followed behind him without the slightest effort. "Better mind where you put your feet. One little pore on my face is enough to drown you."
After crossing the hill, Li Banfeng saw a river ahead. It stretched more than twenty meters across, and the water carried a salty, fishy smell.
Face Not-Big continued, "That was just a bit of sweat I shed. Once it dries, this river will disappear too."
As he spoke, he wiped the sweat from his face.
Sure enough, the river before them dried up, leaving only a slightly damp riverbed behind.
Li Banfeng charged straight toward the riverbed. As he ran, he called back to Face Not-Big, "You are sweating. That means you are getting tired. If I keep running, sooner or later, you won't be able to keep up."
"What does it matter whether I can keep up?" Face Not-Big replied. "You are still on my face. Where else can you run?"
He wiped another handful of sweat from his face and flung it at Li Banfeng's feet.
The sweat was thick with grease. Li Banfeng slipped, and he nearly went sprawling. Instinctively, he slammed his right foot down. At that split second, with his speed pushed to the limit, he unleashed Treading Through Ten Thousand Rivers.
Boom!
Sand and gravel burst outward, sending dust billowing into the air. By the time it settled, a shallow pit more than two meters wide had opened beneath Li Banfeng's feet.
Face Not-Big touched his nose. He did feel something. A faint sting. A faint itch. However, if he had to measure the pain, it was not even close to a mosquito bite.
Li Banfeng looked back at Face Not-Big, then lowered his eyes to the skin beneath his feet, trying to connect the two.
He could at least confirm one thing: both were the same person, just shown in two different dimensions.
But with his current brainpower, he could not understand how the same face could exist in both dimensions at once.
And so, he settled for the simplest explanation he could manage.
He decided to call the actual Face Not-Big Rea Face Not-Big, and the Face Not-Big chasing him from behind Little Face Not-Big.
To Real Face Not-Big, Li Banfeng was probably no different from a tiny speck of bacteria. Given the situation, that was actually good news. After all, a normal person could not do much to a single bacterium. Therefore, the real threat right now was Little Face Not-Big.
Li Banfeng decided to use this chance to slip out of Little Face Not-Big's sight first. After that, he would find a way to leave the Real Face Not-Big's face.
With that plan in mind, Li Banfeng pushed himself faster and faster. Behind him, Little Face Not-Big began to struggle to keep up.
"Hey, don't run so fast. Don't run toward that oil lake up ahead. There's something in there that can eat you..."
Before Little Face Not-Big could finish, Li Banfeng had already reached the oil lake. He kept sprinting along the shore.
Little Face Not-Big stopped chasing him.
The lake had been perfectly still, but a faint ripple suddenly appeared on its surface. Then the ripple swept outward, and the entire lake began to tremble.
Li Banfeng immediately understood what was happening. The unknown creature he had sensed in the oil lake earlier was coming out.
As that thought flashed through his mind, a giant monster with a shrimp-like head broke through the surface of the lake. It dragged itself toward Li Banfeng on two short limbs shaped like sickles.
Li Banfeng only called it shrimp-headed because he could not think of a better way to describe it. Its head did resemble a shrimp's, but it was not as sharp, and no eyes were visible. It also had far more feelers than any shrimp should.
At a glance, the creature stood seven or eight meters tall and stretched more than twenty meters long.
Li Banfeng turned back and asked Face Not-Big, "What is that?"
Face Not-Big's cheeks reddened a little. He seemed rather embarrassed by the matter. "They are mites. I do wash my face often, but these things just won't come off. Some crawl on legs, and some wriggle around on their bodies. They make my face itch from time to time."
Mites? The mites living on his face are this huge? Li Banfeng thought. Have these creatures evolved on Face Not-Big's face, or have they always existed, meant to live only on beings of this enormous size?
The grease-covered mite swung one of its short, sickle-like limbs and lunged at Li Banfeng.
Li Banfeng darted aside. He moved far too quickly. The mite already had poor eyesight, and now it could not even catch a glimpse of him.
Once Li Banfeng stopped, the mite sensed his position with its feelers and began to turn toward him.
Before it could fully face him, its hard shell swelled at a terrifying speed. It only managed to turn halfway before its body burst apart.
Fragments of shell and chunks of flesh burst outward, splattering grease in every direction.
Face Not-Big watched with clear admiration. "Passing Flowers on Horseback. Everyone says that ability is hard to use, but you make it look smooth. A real expert must have taught you."
The first mite had barely burst apart when dozens more crawled out of the lake one after another and surrounded Li Banfeng.
Li Banfeng used Passing Flowers on Horseback again and blew apart two more mites, trying to open a path.But as soon as the two mites burst apart, more surged up from behind and filled the gaps. Layer after layer closed in around Li Banfeng, leaving him no way out.
Was there another way? Could he weave back and forth through the mites and blow them all apart?
Technically, yes. The problem was the cost. That approach would use up far too much energy, and there was no telling how many mites lived on this enormous face. Li Banfeng still had to save enough strength to deal with Little Face Not-Big.
Seeing the swarm of mites closing in step by step, Li Banfeng stared at the ground beneath his feet and shouted, "Open!"
The ground split apart at once. A narrow path roughly a hundred meters long cut through the mites and stretched into the distance.
Li Banfeng had opened that path with the Wanderlust Cultivator ability, Severing Paths to Forge a Way.
To his surprise, the terrain worked in his favor. On normal ground, Li Banfeng could have opened a path twenty or thirty meters long at most. Face Not-Big's skin, however, was soft enough for the path to stretch much farther.
Li Banfeng sprinted down the path he had carved open. The mites on both sides tried to rush in after him, but an invisible force held them back.
The old teapot sprayed tea in a steady stream, forming barriers along both sides of the path.
Li Banfeng charged more than a hundred meters down the path, leaving most of the mites behind. Even so, Little Face Not-Big stayed close behind him.
Little Face Not-Big shouted after him, "Li Not-Crazy, don't you think you are going a bit too far? You cut open my face, and now you're pouring hot water on it too. What if it leaves a scar?"
I can't believe this dude is still right behind me, Li Banfeng thought.. Looks like I need to go faster.
Just as Li Banfeng was about to speed up, something huge appeared at the far end of the ravine and blocked his path. It was a monstrous mouth made of two concentric jaws. One enormous mouth enclosed a slightly smaller one, and between the two ran a ring of dark yellow fangs.
Where did this nested giant maw come from?
Li Banfeng leaped out of the ravine and finally saw the whole creature.
A blood-red worm had burrowed out of the ground.
"Blood larva," Face Not-Big said, touching his nose again. "It's a type of facial parasite, and it's a real nuisance. You just had to lure it out. Now I will be suffering and itching for the entire day."
The worm was several dozen meters long, shaped like a hybrid of an earthworm and a leech. It wriggled toward Li Banfeng at frightening speed.
Li Banfeng dodged aside, and one of the mites chasing him from behind was caught in the blood larva's bite. The blood larva quickly tore through the mite's shell with its sharp fangs, then sucked the entire mite into its giant mouth.
Li Banfeng seized the chance. He took out the liquor gourd and splashed some liquor over the blood larva.
Little Face Not-Big sniffed. "That's Old Yao's liquor. Did Old Yao send you here? What does he want with me?"
Little Face Not-Big thought for a moment, then kept muttering to himself. "No, it shouldn't be Old Yao. Old Yao has no reason to come looking for me. He's close to the Peddler, though. Could the Peddler have sent you?
"If it's the Peddler, then we can still talk this over. I might even consider letting you go!"
Li Banfeng ignored him. He struck a match and set the blood larva ablaze.
The liquor only raised a small flame on the blood larva's body. However, grease covered the ground all around them. As the blood larva thrashed, the fire spread quickly across the slick surface.
Little Face Not-Big flew into a rage. "Why are you setting my face on fire again?"
He blew toward his own nose, and a fierce gust swept across the area, snuffing out the surrounding flames.
So that's why the Tang saber and the pendulum can't fly steadily.
Li Banfeng still could not make sense of the connection between Little Face Not-Big and Real Face Not-Big.
"I don't want to talk to you anymore!" Little Face Not-Big glared at him. "You keep ruining my face. Now I am going to take your life right away."
As soon as Little Face-Not-Big finished speaking, his face became even oilier. At the same time, grease surged beneath Li Banfeng's feet and quickly rose past his ankles.
Li Banfeng did not hesitate. He kept running. He did not care what tricks Little Face Not-Big had left. As long as he could escape from this face, he still had a chance to survive.
The grease grew deeper with every step, dragging at his legs and slowing him down. Li Banfeng forced more strength into his legs and began to sing, hoping to distract Little Face Not-Big.
As it happened, there was one song that was perfect for pushing through exhaustion!
"Moving across plains and over mountains, chugging and puffing out smoke. Add water and coal, and off we go. Once the train starts, there are no borders it can't break through. ♪"
Li Banfeng's singing was so shrill and miserable that Little Face Not-Big's head started throbbing. Yet the melody and lyrics were unmistakably familiar. No matter how painful it was to listen to, Little Face Not-Big could not bring himself to tune it out.
Little Face Not-Big froze, and the rising grease stopped with him. "Are you singing the Ballad of the Train?"
Li Banfeng did not answer.
"Where did you hear that ballad?"
Li Banfeng stayed silent.
"Did you learn that footwork from him too?"
By then, Li Banfeng had already run farther and farther away.
Only after Little Face Not-Big had disappeared from sight did Li Banfeng slip into a patch of woods and stop to catch his breath.
The woods were thick with grass and trees, though the wind there was a little strong. He had barely rested for a moment when Little Face Not-Big's voice drifted over from deep within the forest.
"Don't stay there. If the wind picks up, there's no telling where it might blow you."
Li Banfeng was startled. "You caught up this quickly?"
"This is my face. Of course I know where the shortcuts are."
There are shortcuts on a face too?
Little Face Not-Big clearly did not want Li Banfeng slipping away again. And so, he kept his distance as he called out, "If he really sent you here, then bring him a message for me. Even now, my answer hasn't changed. Whether it's a train or an automobile, fuel oil is better than coal."
Is he talking about Grandpa Train? Did they have some kind of agreement?
Li Banfeng said, "You can't burn oil in Puluo. Fuel can't be stored in large quantities."
"That's because they haven't found good oil. That's because..." Face Not-Big's tone suddenly changed. "You are lying to me, aren't you? You came here to steal my oil, didn't you? You sang his Ballad of the Train because you wanted to steal my oil, right?"
Li Banfeng frowned. "You need evidence to catch a thief! If you are going to accuse someone of theft, you need evidence. When did I steal your oil?"
"You are covered in oil, and you still say you didn't steal any?"
"Who wouldn't be covered in oil after coming to a place like this?"
Face Not-Big gritted his teeth. "No one is taking my oil. Even if you drive us oil cultivators to extinction, I won't let you all steal it!"
Author's Note:
P.S. Oil Cultivators are indeed rarely seen.
