Chapter 1229: Chapter 106 Heartache Like a Knife Cut_2
Ah Dai heaved a long sigh, wiped away Xuan Yue’s tears with his sleeve, and said softly, "Brother, why are you crying? Is it because of Yue Yue? When you see her next time, tell her to forget about me. Ah Dai isn’t worthy of being with Yue Yue!" He had thought it through; although he truly liked Yue Yue, the disparity in their identities would inevitably bring her much trouble. From any perspective, he was not worthy of Yue Yue. It was better to give up now rather than affect her life; at least he and Xuan Yue wouldn’t fall too deep. At this moment, Ah Dai backed away; he shrank back in the face of his own feelings.
Xuan Yue nodded blankly. All the hopes she had harbored were met with rejection, and how could she bear it? Looking at Ah Dai’s stolid face, Xuan Yue said mournfully, "Brother, so you actually don’t like Yue Yue. It seems she’s been foolish, unrequited all along. Don’t worry, I’ll tell her not to bother you anymore, so you can be with that Ice."
Ah Dai did not explain his relationship with Ice; he hung his head, repeatedly muttering apologies. He suddenly felt as though he’d lost something very important.
After a long while, a hint of vitality returned to Xuan Yue’s beautiful eyes, and she spoke softly, "Brother, I’m a bit tired today; let’s find an inn to rest for the night, we can go to the Mage Guild tomorrow."
What more could Ah Dai say at this moment? He could only silently nod his head. Not far from where they stood was an inn. Xuan Yue walked towards it like a zombie. Ah Dai’s pain was no less than Xuan Yue’s. Knowing that his beloved also reciprocated his feelings yet being unable to admit his, gave him a pain as if being cut by a knife, causing his body to tremble slightly. The two entered the inn without uttering a word, and Xuan Yue said to Ah Dai, "Brother, we have money now, let’s get separate rooms."
Ah Dai silently nodded; his thoughts were the same as Xuan Yue’s—he just wanted to be alone. Xuan Yue took two adjacent standard rooms, and they each entered their rooms with their keys without another word, the atmosphere between them extremely heavy.
Xuan Yue closed her room door and could no longer contain her pain, collapsing to the ground and weeping loudly. Ah Dai’s rejection felt like a thunderbolt from a clear sky, deeply assaulting her heart. Why, oh why! Just three years apart, and your heart has changed, Ah Dai, Ah Dai, you are no longer my Ah Dai.
After entering his room, Ah Dai lay on the bed, his thoughts occupied by Xuan Re’s words, "I tell you, your sister has feelings for you... Tell me clearly, do you have feelings for her?" Ah Dai wished he could shout aloud, ’Yes, I have feelings for Yue Yue!’ But he couldn’t, his inferiority about his identity made him dare not to confess or admit his feelings. He curled up on the bed, slightly convulsing, the various complex emotions causing his head such pain. Tears blurred his vision, and he fell into deep guilt and agony.
In the early morning, the loud knocking on the door awoke Ah Dai from his sleep, the mental and physical exhaustion of the day and night leaving him weary. He continued to ponder his feelings for Xuan Yue but could never clearly sort out the troubles in his mind.
Confused, he sat up in bed and glanced at the dawn light outside the window, his dejected mood not the slightest bit lightened. So early, who could be knocking at the door? He put on his shoes and asked, "Who is it?"
"Brother, it’s me," Xuan Yue’s voice came from outside the room.
Ah Dai was startled; because of Yue Yue, he was now somewhat afraid to face this "Xuan Re" brother. He sighed, walked over, and opened the door. Xuan Yue’s face looked haggard, her eyes swollen and red, her pale lips without a trace of color. Seeing Ah Dai open the door, she smiled and said, "Brother, did you sleep well last night?" Her voice was very calm, betraying no emotion.
Seeing Xuan Yue’s seemingly unresentful smile, Ah Dai scratched his head and replied tentatively, "Pretty well." The oppressive feeling in his heart seemed even stronger.
Xuan Yue touched her haggard face and complained, "You slept well? I hardly slept all night. I was used to sleeping with you, and I’m not used to being apart now. Don’t block the door! Don’t you want to let me in?"
Ah Dai was stunned, only then realizing he was still blocking the doorway. He hastily stepped aside, stumbling over himself in his hurry, his body swaying, almost falling, but thankfully Xuan Yue quickly grabbed his arm.
Xuan Yue saw Ah Dai’s confused expression and revealed a knowing smile, but a glimmer of desolation flashed deep in her eyes. "Brother, be careful."
Ah Dai steadied himself, embarrassed, and said, "Brother, come in and sit."
Xuan Yue closed the door, walked into Ah Dai’s room, and sat down on his bed without any formality, hanging her head and saying, "Brother, I thought it over clearly last night. If you can’t accept Yue Yue, I don’t blame you."
Ah Dai felt a surge of urgency and said, "Brother, I..." He wanted to tell "Xuan Re" that he actually did like Yue Yue, but he feared that speaking out might make it impossible to restrain his feelings for Xuan Yue.
Xuan Yue sighed, raised her hand to cover Ah Dai’s mouth, and said, "Brother, don’t say anything. I know you have your difficulties. I don’t blame you, and I think, Yue Yue won’t either. Initially, after you rejected Yue Yue, I thought about leaving you immediately to return to the church, but Yue Yue’s wish is still unfulfilled; I think, let’s continue to head towards the Death Mountain Range like before. When we return, I will tell her all about our journey, I think it’ll make her feel somewhat better. Just pretend I didn’t say those words yesterday, we are still good brothers." She had thought it through yesterday, various thoughts flashing through her mind. Although Ah Dai had rejected her, she decided in the end to stay; she really couldn’t bear to leave just like that. Her purpose for staying was to spend more time with Ah Dai and also to find a chance to see what aspects that girl named Ice excelled in over her. She wasn’t content to just lose her beloved Ah Dai like that; her heart still held a sliver of hope. Since she had fallen for Ah Dai, she wouldn’t give up easily. Although staying by Ah Dai’s side caused her more pain, she didn’t regret it.
