Chapter 51: I was abandoned
Okay, I get it, I get it. I might be some ’female’ that werewolves are attracted to despite gender, and Noah might’ve already marked me, but... What does any of that have to do with the topic of being sex buddies?
He said it was dangerous and that was why he did not take the risk. What was so dangerous about letting off some steam with our bodies from time to time?
Since we couldn’t exactly communicate with words properly, we could just let our bodies do the talking. Sounds fair? Of course, it sounds fair. We would both be benefiting from it, so he shouldn’t have any complaints.
But he was just so stubborn. For someone who didn’t have a lot of memories, he sure knew a lot of things that made our lives so difficult.
I sighed.
"So, is it a big deal if you marked me?" I asked him. "I don’t know how the world works for you guys but if you’ve found a ’female’ and marked them, shouldn’t you be happy?"
"It’s not that simple," he said.
Of course, you’re the one making it difficult.
"If you were a ’female’ to begin with, then there’s no way you would’ve been left alone. Females are rare so you might’ve already been chosen from birth to be with an Alpha." He said.
Hmm, why do his words sound familiar? They were quite similar to what Mark had told me
I had been chosen by someone from the moment I was still a zygote. Could they also determine if a child was a female even though they hadn’t been born yet?
If I thought of it that way, I might come to understand that I had a really important role, a role he wanted so badly, but he never got it, fueling his anger.
But was that important role being a ’female’ to an Alpha? I just didn’t understand.
Was that so great that he hated me to the pits when it hadn’t even been my decision?
I was feeling shitty all of a sudden. Everyone was just concerned about me being a female that I don’t even know what my life that I’ve led so horribly is all about anymore.
"Hah," I scoffed. "My brother probably scared off the Alpha I was supposed to be mated to with his cruel pranks," I said. "They probably saw me living a joke of a life and decided I couldn’t be with their highly esteemed Alpha."
It was laughable if that was how things turned out. It’s not like I chose to live the way I did.
I turned to Noah, giving him a serious look.
"If you’re worried that you marked another Alpha’s mate then you don’t have to worry two fucks about it because that Alpha ain’t coming. If they wanted me, I’m pretty sure they would’ve come after me the moment I was ripe for plucking, or whatever term they use."
Noah stared at me, his gaze looking a little skeptical.
Seriously, was he still going to think too much about this? I gave him the perfect excuse why he didn’t need to worry and yet he was thinking up more things to worry about.
"Noah, I was abandoned." I said, trying to sit up again. "And not just by my family, but whoever the damn Alpha that caused my nightmare was. So, don’t think about it and just claim me." I yelled out and began to pant. "Even without your memories, I can tell from the looks of things that you," I examined him closely. "...an Alpha, don’t have a female mate yet, right? So, why do you keep hesitating? I may not be the prettiest flower in the garden, but I promise I can be obedient. I’m not asking you to take me with you when you finally regain your memories and are off to lead your pack. I’m just asking that right now, while it’s just you and me under this roof, would you at least hold me and share your warmth with me? And after it’s done, you can leave. I won’t have any regrets and the same goes for you too."
Fuck, I was never good with words but I hoped to at least pass on the message in a way that could move his heart.
I watched him sigh and then scratch his head. He was confused, but it looked like he was finally giving it a positive thought. There was no rush; he could take his time to think about it.
I’d just be on the bed, going nowhere and doing absolutely nothing. I’d just be waiting for him to give me the answer I was looking forward to.
"Micheal," he called my name and I gulped before answering,
"Yes?"
"Are you really okay with this?" He asked and my eyes sparkled. Finally, he had gotten a change of heart. "I could really hurt you."
"You didn’t hurt me this time," I said to him, but he looked down at my condition, and I darted my eyes aside. "Though you pushed me quite hard, it was all because of your heat, which is now over, so we won’t go this far from now on."
I reached my hand towards him and held his. It was such a chore, given my entire body was still sore, and I had a problem moving.
"I want to do more things with you, but mostly have sex with you." I confessed.
"Even if what you’re feeling right now might just be an effect of the mark I gave you?" He asked and I smiled.
"Even better," I said. "I’ll just take it that I’m high on some fine wine and that’s why I can’t think clearly. I’ll eventually sober up when you’re gone. So... Will you at least let me be delusional and stay alive like you always wanted?"
We shared a long, intense gaze, and then Noah finally gave in.
He dropped his other hand on mine and took it off, gently moving me back to lie down straight and not stress my back.
"I understand," he said. "I’ll be your sex partner if that’s what you want." Be said and my lips curled up.
This was exactly what I wanted.
We were already living together and enjoying each other’s company, so including sex and some intimate action would make it seem like we were a couple.
There was nothing sweeter than that.
