Chapter 28: Wait! wait, wait, wait, I know where this is going
After my outburst, I seemed to have calmed down a bit. Of course, there was silence thereafter but I couldn’t look at Noah.
Only God knew what was circulating in that bastard’s head because after a long moment of silence, the doorbell rang, and he stood up as if nothing had happened.
"It must be the food delivery," he said and went to the door, taking the package and closing the door.
He placed what looked like Chinese takeout on the table in between us and said,
"You should eat and regain your strength."
What a load of bull crap. He was definitely doing this on purpose. Driving me mad to the point I have to vent out to him, explaining my life even though not in full detail, and stripping myself bare.
Ah... I placed my hand on my face in contempt... Stripping myself bare. I already spilled out almost all my secrets in one sitting and I wasn’t even drunk. Rage can be such a sick thing.
I never had plans to let him know the details of my life.
I watched him head to the kitchen. All I could see was his big sturdy back.
Damn, why did it feel like I was forgetting something? Hmm, my memory was a bit foggy, but I could vaguely remember the feeling of my hand roaming through Noah’s back.
Wait, was it when he was carrying me to the hospital? Well, I don’t think that’s the case. The memory, though vague, was quite slow and unrushed.
It was as if I was taking my sweet time to explore the shape and firmness of his back.
I squinted my eyes. What was it? What was I doing at that time?
I must’ve been dead drunk not to remember what happened before I passed out. And I was sure Noah wouldn’t be polite enough to tell me either. That is... If he even knew.
"Noah," I called, as my eyes traveled towards him heading to the bathroom. "Do you really plan on not telling me anything about what happened at the Hospital or before that?"
Noah paused and then looked back at me.
"Okay, I admit that I went a little overboard venting out at you like that but you’re not innocent either. You keep pushing me to the extreme end with this indifferent, calm, and unbothered attitude."
Noah did not say anything. Ugh, he was doing it again.
"I feel like shit right now because there’s a weight pressing on my heart. Even venting didn’t help so the least you could do for me is tell me something that would calm my nerves."
So, I had gone from being overbearingly angry to a humble beggar. No matter how I looked at it, I would be the only one who lost out if I let him go without getting what I wanted.
We were two grown men yet we were acting like immature kids. How pathetic. This would just end if he told me what he knew.
"Micheal," he called my name.
Wait, he wasn’t going to tell me I was selfish or something like that again, was he?
"I understand you’ve faced a lot of troubles in your life. You’ve been messed with and abandoned over and over, and your life feels unbearable. But do you think dying would solve that issue?"
My eyebrows furrowed. What was he babbling about? I just needed my answer.
"Wait! Wait, wait, wait, I know where this is going." I said, stopping him before he could speak more. "You’re not trying to divert the topic again, are you?"
Noah squinted his eyes and said,
"Running away from life will not solve anything. I agree that I have just as much selfishness as you do but it’s because I wish to live. I wish to regain my memories and get my life back. I wish to be productive. But you..."
"Yeah, I knew it. You were going to change the topic," I snapped my fingers. "Yeah, I wish to run. I wish to forget everything and I wish to get rid of this shitty life. We’re both opposites but we’re still both one coin. We just have different sides."
I can’t believe we were wasting so many Chapters just because of this issue. Can’t we just get over it already?
"In every two sides of a coin, there’s a head and a tail. You’re living the life of a head and I’m living the life of a tail. That sums it up and I hope you understand that a tail can never be a head. So," I pushed my body forward to pick up the chopsticks. "...no matter what I do, I will never be like who you used to be and that is why I choose to give up. At least one shitty thing will go my way for once."
If I kept struggling and the world ended up taking my life first, I may never have a single win. So, if I died by my own hands first, then it would be my win.
"Forget about everything else I said. Forget I asked you anything, and keep whatever you know to yourself," I slowly and carefully opened the takeout due to my injured elbow and then glanced at him. "...I don’t care anymore."
Noah stared at me for a while but I was serious when I said I didn’t care anymore. I might’ve been overly curious as to why he was worried about me or the deal with my heart suddenly stopping, but not anymore.
If he was going to tell me, he’d have done so already. He had no plans on telling me and no plans on giving me a good explanation so I decided to end it there.
The readers need a new thing to talk about anyway.
I glanced up at him and our eyes met. I don’t know if he was staring at my face or the food in my hand, but he was staring so damn much with that calm and indifferent expression on his face.
Gosh, I think I liked his humble version better, even if it was an act to win my favor. At least then, he was able to talk. Now, he gave off the feeling of a vengeful ghost out for my neck.
’It looks like he’s done trying to please me. I guess Mister Alpha reached his limit.’
