Chapter 36: Hurting you so...
"Yeon Soohi!!! Have you gone mad?!"
Yohan yelled at Soohi as the punch settled in once.
"Fuck! What the hell is your problem?!" Jiwoo too looked up quite infuriated at being suddenly punched.
Soohi just ignored the man she had just assaulted and hauled Yohan away with brute force.
The entire time, Yohan was struggling and pushing her hand away from his arm where she gripped tightly like an iron claw.
Nam Jiwoo stood there quite dumbfounded for a while, before giving an annoyed look in their direction and muttering something.
"Why did he even hit on me if he already had a girlfriend?"
He then walked away in the opposite direction while slowly touching his cheek where he was punched.
Soohi dragged Yohan right into a taxi and threw him in there.
By now, Yohan was pissed. Like PISSED pissed.
"You can’t do that to me!! Who do you think you are to drag me around like this?!" Yohan yelled as he tried to unlock the door on his side.
But he was pushed down on the seat by Soohi who told the reluctant driver to start driving.
She gave Han Yohan’s address to him.
"You think I’ll let you in to my place after what you just pulled?!"
Soohi hadn’t said a single word to him. And the entire ride, she remained absolutely quiet.
Yohan yelled at her, cussed her out, hit her, but nothing was getting a response out of her.
His apartment was just a few blocks away now, so he just stopped retaliating.
The taxi stopped, Soohi got out and opened the door for Yohan. When he didn’t step out, Soohi yanked him out by his arm and paid the taxi fair.
Yohan pulled away his arm from Soohi and stomped away to his floor. He pushed the elevator buttons and inspite, closed the doors right in Soohi’s face.
"Seriously... what a fucking turn off..."
Soohi could hear him mutter as the doors closed and Yohan disappeared from her sight.
Soohi looked at her right towards the stairs and decided to run up.
Yohan was speeding away to his apartment door to lock himself in before Soohi reached there. But she did reach, just in the nick of time.
And she shamelessly entered right after him.
"Get the fuck out!!" Yohan yelled.
Soohi just stood there in the doorway without a single word.
Her gaze was fixated on Yohan. As if nothing else besides him mattered.
It irked Yohan even more.
"Why are you doing this to me?! Fuck!!!"
"What’s so good about Nam Jiwoo?"
Soohi spoke at last as she looked right into Yohan’s eyes.
Pale green. After all, his eyes are prettier.
"What? The hell are you talking about?!" Yohan retorted. He was now holding his head in frustration as he was seeing no end to this.
"Nam Jiwoo is the same age as me. I look much better than him and I’m better at sports than him. Is it because he swims? I can take up swimming. I’ll be better than him in no time."
Soohi started rambling, almost as if she was in a delirium not knowing what she was saying and thinking.
"Yeon Soohi. How many times do I have to tell you that it can never be you?! Why can you get a fucking hint?!"
"Then tell me why?!
I don’t want to just stand there and watch you kiss another person not knowing why I am not them!!!!
It’s fucking me up!!
If you’re going to reject me, doing a good fucking job!!!
So that I know that I don’t have a chance!!!
That I’m never going to have a chance!!!"
Soohi panted as if she was out of breath. Saying out those words was harder than any training she had gone through.
"No one loves you more than I do!!
I think I deserve at least that much respect!!!
How selfish are going to be?!
You can’t keep me beside you forever!!
You and I both know that well.
You’ll have to give me a clear answer and it’s going wreck our relationship.
Heck it’s already wrecking it!
I have to stop meeting you and move the fuck on!
But why do you keep pulling me right back when I see myself just getting away a little?
Who’s the one not getting a fucking hint here?!"
Yohan stepped back a little in shock.
He looked like as if all his nerves were hit right where they hurt. Yeon Soohi had done it after three long desperate years.
She had finally started hating Han Yohan enough to hurt him so.
Should I be relieved or....?
Yohan pondered. He didn’t dare look directly at her.
"That’s exactly why we can’t be together."
Yohan spoke as he turned his back towards Soohi.
"Huh?" She sounded confused.
"Let me tell you the reason if that would stop you from going after me.
You love me, Yeon Soohi. That’s exactly why we can’t be together."
"What kind of sick joke is that?"
"I’m a masochist. An emotional and physical masochist. I don’t WANT to be loved. And that’s what failed you."
It felt unreal to hear.
He’s a masochist?
Don’t they like... getting hurt?
What in the world...?
"Because I love you, I don’t turn you on. Is that what you’re fucking saying?"
Soohi asked just to confirm if she understood what she heard correctly.
"Yes."
"So I have to fucking hate your guts, for you can finally look my way?"
"Yes."
"Hahaha, what an absolute joke."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"It’s like asking the stars to disappear from the sky. How could I ever hate you? You’re right. You could never date me."
*clack.
The apartment door opened and Soohi left. Yohan never turned around to see.
Should I cry?
He asked himself.
Why did I drag this on for so long? What about Yeon Soohi was there that I couldn’t let go?
And now after finally letting go, he felt awful and gut wrenched.
Right, this was exactly why.
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