Chapter 114: Contemplations and actions
ETHAN’S POV...
By the time I reached Susan’s apartment, I was barely thinking straight.
I don’t remember how many traffic lights I ignored or how fast I’d driven across the city. I only remember the sound of my own heartbeat filling the silence inside the car, growing louder every time the same thought forced its way back into my head.
Jade never boarded the plane.
It didn’t make sense.
I had watched him hand over his passport. I had watched the immigration officer scan it before waving him through. Then he’d disappeared into the boarding queue and out of sight.
That should have been the end of it.
He should have been halfway to another country by now.
Instead...
He had vanished.
I knocked once.
The door opened almost immediately.
Susan barely had time to step aside before I brushed past her and walked straight into the apartment.
"What did you mean he never boarded the plane?"
She quietly closed the door behind us.
"Ethan... calm down."
I turned sharply.
"Calm down?" I let out a bitter laugh. "Susan, I watched him go through security."
"I know."
"I watched his passport get scanned."
"I know."
"I watched him disappear into the terminal."
"And that’s exactly why I’m telling you to breathe."
I ran both hands through my hair and began pacing the living room.
"How does someone disappear between security and the aircraft?"
Susan waited until I stopped moving.
"The airline reported him missing after boarding was completed," she said. "Airport security has already been notified, and the authorities have started looking into it."
I stared at her.
"Do you honestly think they’re going to find him?"
She didn’t answer.
Her eyes dropped briefly to the floor before meeting mine again.
That silence told me everything.
I looked away and exhaled slowly.
"No..."
My voice came out quieter this time.
"I think I know who took him."
Susan’s expression changed immediately.
"Ethan..."
"I’m done pretending this is just bad luck."
She stepped closer.
"You don’t know that."
"I do."
"You suspect."
"I know."
She caught my arm before I could turn away.
"You don’t want to start a fight with that family."
I met her eyes.
"You’ve seen what they’re capable of," she continued. "You were the one who told me about Katsuro. You called him a monster."
"I know what I said."
"Then listen to yourself."
Her grip tightened slightly.
"If they really took Jade..."
She swallowed.
"...then this is already bigger than either of us."
I gently pulled my arm free.
"So what do you want me to do?"
My voice rose before I realised it.
"Go home?"
"Wait for someone else to fix this?"
"Pretend everything is fine while Jade is out there somewhere?"
The memory hit me without warning.
The prison visitation room.
Kuro sitting across from me, thinner than I’d ever seen him.
The desperation in his voice when he’d spoken about Jade.
Promise me.
The words echoed through my head.
"I promised him."
Susan stayed silent.
"I looked him in the eye and promised him I’d keep Jade safe."
My chest tightened.
"It sounded so simple."
Get Jade out.
Keep him alive.
That was all.
"I failed him."
The words felt heavier once they were spoken aloud.
Susan’s expression softened.
"Ethan..."
"I had one job."
A hollow laugh escaped me.
"You know what I hate more than anything?"
She waited.
"I hate failing at my job".
"When someone trusts me with something..."
I shook my head slowly.
"...I see it through."
Silence settled between us.
Not awkward.
Just heavy.
Eventually Susan let out a slow breath.
"Okay."
She folded her arms.
"So what do we do now?"
I stopped pacing.
That was the question.
Going to the police sounded obvious.
Except it wasn’t.
"We can’t rely on the cops "
She frowned.
"They’ll tell us to wait."
"They’ll say he’s an adult."
"They’ll assume he missed his flight or changed his mind."
"And by the time they start treating it like a kidnapping..."
I rubbed my forehead.
"...it’ll already be too late."
Susan nodded reluctantly.
"So..."
"So we find him ourselves."
She looked at me expectantly.
"Do you know anyone who can access airport security footage?"
She blinked.
"Ethan..."
"I work in entertainment," she said. "I can arrange confidential travel for celebrities. I can make sure famous people disappear from the public eye for a few days."
She shook her head.
"But airport surveillance?"
"No."
"I’m not that connected."
I lowered my gaze.
For several long seconds neither of us spoke.
Then an idea surfaced.
One I didn’t want.
One I’d spent days trying not to think about.
"There is someone."
Susan noticed the change in my expression immediately.
"Who?"
I looked up.
"Raina."
For a moment she simply stared at me.
Then she gave a disbelieving laugh.
"You’re serious."
"I’m completely serious."
"Ethan..."
She looked at me as though I’d finally lost what little sense I had left.
"Her family caused this."
"I know."
"For all we know, she helped them."
" I don’t think she did "
She studied me for a long moment before slowly folding her arms.
"You still believe in her."
"Not the way I used to."
"Then why?"
I took a slow breath.
"Because this doesn’t fit."
"What doesn’t?"
"Jade."
I met her eyes.
"If Katsuro wanted leverage, taking Jade makes sense."
I paused.
"But Raina gains nothing from attacking one of my friends ."
Susan didn’t hesitate.
"She already hurt one of your friends."
My stomach tightened.
"Felix."
The name slipped out before I could stop it.
"It wasn’t intentional."
The words came naturally.
Too naturally.
Silence settled between us.
Susan watched me carefully.
"You just defended her."
I opened my mouth to answer.
Nothing came out.
Had I?
I wasn’t sure anymore.
Susan’s expression softened.
"Ethan..."
"I’ve known you for years."
"Long enough to know when your head and your heart are disagreeing."
"And right now they’re fighting each other."
Neither of us spoke.
The apartment felt strangely quiet, filled only by the low hum of the refrigerator somewhere in the kitchen.
Finally Susan sighed.
"You really don’t see it, do you?"
"See what?"
She looked past me, toward nothing in particular.
"Back in college..."
"I used to think I was imagining it."
I frowned.
"Imagining what?"
"The way you looked at Himari."
My shoulders stiffened.
"Susan..."
"Just listen."
She smiled faintly.
"Do you remember Terry Collins?"
It took me a second.
Then I nodded.
"The guy who thought humiliating people counted as a personality."
She nodded.
"The day he started mocking Himari, you were on your feet before anyone else even reacted."
The memory returned with surprising clarity.
A crowded lecture hall.
Terry laughing.
Raina sitting quietly near the back.
Then...
Me.
Standing before I’d even realised I’d moved.
"I would’ve done that for anyone."
Susan smiled.
"That’s what you always tell yourself."
She took a slow step closer.
"When Felix started spending time with Himari, you kept saying you’d lost your roommate."
I frowned.
I’d forgotten saying that.
"You thought you missed Felix."
She shook her head gently.
"I don’t think that was it."
Before I could respond, she continued.
"I noticed the way your eyes searched for her whenever you walked into a room."
She smiled sadly.
"And I noticed the day she disappeared."
The empty seat.
I hadn’t thought about that classroom in years.
Everyone assumed she’d transferred.
Weeks became months.
Eventually people stopped asking.
I told myself I had too.
Maybe I never really had.
"You never talked about her," Susan said quietly.
"But every so often..."
"You’d ask if anyone had heard from her."
I looked down at the floor.
I hadn’t even realised I’d done that.
"I wasn’t in love with her."
"I know."
She nodded.
"I don’t think you were."
"Not then."
She closed the distance between us and gently cupped my face.
The gesture was painfully familiar.
"Ethan..."
"Himari doesn’t deserve someone like you."
Her voice was barely above a whisper.
"You deserve someone who chooses you."
"Someone who doesn’t hide behind lies."
"Someone who makes your life easier instead of harder."
A small, sad smile touched her lips.
"I could be that person."
For a moment neither of us moved.
Then I gently wrapped my hands around her wrists and lowered them.
Not because I wanted to hurt her.
Because leaving them there would hurt even more.
"I’m sorry."
Her eyes searched mine.
"I care about you."
"I always will."
"You were one of the most important people in my life."
I swallowed.
"But I’m not in love with you."
For a long moment she simply looked at me.
The hope quietly disappeared from her eyes.
No tears.
No anger.
Just acceptance.
She gave a small nod, almost to herself.
"I think..."
A faint, bittersweet smile appeared.
"I’ve known that for a long time."
Silence settled between us again.
This time it wasn’t painful.
It was simply honest.
Eventually I picked up the folder containing Jade’s documents from the coffee table.
"We’re talking about the wrong thing."
Susan followed my gaze.
"Jade is still missing."
"My promise to Kuro hasn’t changed."
I looked back at her.
"And whether I like it or not..."
I exhaled slowly.
"Raina may be the only person who can help us find him."
Susan closed her eyes for a brief moment.
When she opened them again, whatever disappointment remained had already been pushed aside.
She picked up her car keys from the table.
"Then let’s go find Himari."
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