The Female Alpha You Can't Tame

Chapter 82: Chapter 82 Deimos

I cannot feel it. The beats of my heart. I cannot hear it. The sound of my breaths. I stand tied to the ground not making a single move, whilst his eyes stare at me calmly waiting patiently for my reaction. My mind rushes jumbled thoughts run, warning me I am in a dream and not to aid my expectations in reaching new heights.

No, the room doesn’t spin and I don’t tremble or shiver. I don’t sob my heart out rather I just stand there like a doll watching the rise and fall of his chest. His eyes beckon me to him, to his side. My mark buzzes like electricity jolts celebrating the connection that has been revived back to life.

"Luna?" Ragon whispers with a frown upon his face. I am supposed to be in Deimos’s arms yet I am standing still portraying no emotion seeing my male filled with life.

I take a step back, my wolf whines loudly within banging her body upon the cage I have kept her in all these months. I take another step back but this doesn’t confuse my male. He watches my every movement carefully analyzing its depth. He does not seem to understand it but at the same time, he accepts it.

Elriam places her palm upon my shoulder softly, "Alpha." She calls me perhaps to distract me from the prominent haze I seem to be in. Looking at the tiles below I finally take in deep breaths, my lungs swallowing all the oxygen I denied it quickly.

Swiftly I run out the room, not stopping to the calls of the confused Ragon. The last I hear is my male’s voice saying, "Let her be, Ragon." I run as fast as my feet can take me away from the villa. Heavy breaths leave my chest, my claws tear my shirt and pants open leaving me bare.

A high pitched scream leaves my lips as I spring over a dead fallen tree, bones break and my body transforms into my beast. She takes control landing on the ground briskly, sprinting deep into the hidden woods. Her paws pounding deep into the earth, heart pumping strongly as she finally eliminates all the unused energy that she possessed.

Soft whimpers leave her lips as she darts further uphill. The full moon seems to be filled with more beauty and light tonight. Is it because the goddess finally gave the miracle I wished for? Her ears lay flat above her cheeks whilst her mouth is open with tongue out, panting. I don’t stop her, she needs this. I walked out that room for her.

Her paw slips upon the mud, body stumbles as small rocks roll down making her travel harder. She uses all her energy to climb. One paw after the other she ascends. I give her my strength aiding her so she can finally fulfill her wish. She reaches safely and saunters to the edge of the hill.

Her whimpers stop as her eyes sparkle taking in the beauty of the moon. Placing her hind legs under her belly she lies down. Sitting quietly as the grey clouds kiss the dark sky she waits. She waits for the bloated clouds to give birth.

And with earth-shattering thunder and lightening they did for rain fell to earth. She knew. She knew it would rain and that on the day it rained her male would live. The only difference between us was that she believed her instincts and I didn’t.

She strides further to the edge closing her eyes feeling the rain wetting her fur. She drowns in the feeling for a while and after she has enjoyed it she lifts her head high up. Puffing her chest she allows a loud mournful howl to leave her lips.

A howl filled with pain, agony, fear, and anxiety. It’s a long howl that brought out what she kept hidden. She kept it within her to relieve it once her male opened his eyes. She didn’t stop until she emptied every negative feeling within her that grew and strapped her down like a vine with thorns.

When she finished she showed me her present feelings for us to share as her soul finally joined with mine after all these harsh months. She is filled with jubilation and rejoices for the resurrection of her male. We spend some time together mixing our feelings as one. And finally, as peace falls upon us and we take delight in it.

Short grunts leave her lips, her way of showing overpouring joy. And with one last look at the full moon that hides behind the stormy clouds, she gives me back control. I get up with trembling legs, my hair wet and body bare as a newborn pup.

I take small steps and walk back to the villa. Back to where he awaits to hold me. I bite my lower lip hard, teeth sinking deep chewing on it whilst grasping my shaking hands together holding them over my breasts. So many uncontrollable emotions swim within me and I don’t know which one is the strongest.

The door in front of me stands as the only barrier in front of us. I am supposed to be filled with so much joy yet why do I feel like fear consumes my every breath? Why do I feel as if I am still in an illusion? Am I hallucinating? Am I imagining this as reality no longer serves me?

Deimos, I am so scared to open this door again. I wish to keep the first time as a good memory and not allow this to replace it. I am scared to open this and see that you are still asleep, that you are not awake. My wolf acknowledged this but why cannot I do so?

With these thoughts striking deep in the depths of my mind, I push open the door. This time I don’t look down, I stare straight at him. My eyes widen when I find him reading a book quietly flipping through the pages.

As the door shuts, he peers at me placing the book upon the bed slowly. Eyes dilate and he gathers his strength to get up and stand a few paces in front of me. He watches me with a painful expression but doesn’t take a step forward. We look at each other as if we are meeting in each others’ heads. In a fantasy, we are simultaneously dreaming of.

I fall to my knees upon the cold ground as a loud sob leaves my lips. He kneels quickly, palm placed on the cold ground watching me fall apart in front of him. "Lumina." He pleads, his voice hoarse crawling little by little to me. Tears stream down my face dripping down my neck and his lips quiver watching them fall.

As he reaches me, my palm moves towards him to touch his warm cheek. Another loud sob leaves my lips the moment I feel the heat of his flesh. I slide my palm down his neck and chest to place it upon his beating heart. "W-Warm. You are warm. You are alive. You are here. I a-am not dreaming." I talk to myself. I comfort myself.

He closes his eyes unable to bear the pain I show him through my eyes. "Tell me! Tell me I am not dreaming. Tell me this is real!" I scream clutching the collar of his shirt in my palms.

He grabs me in his arms, lips leaving kisses all over my face. My cheeks, nose, eyes, lips he heals them with his kisses as he whispers, "You are not dreaming, Lumina. I am real. I am here."

Loud wails leave my mouth, with each wail stripping me of my energy. My body trembles and I fall onto the ground. Deimos grabs me and holds me tightly to his chest. "I am sorry. Forgive me." He keeps whispering the words to me like a lullaby.

My fists bang his chest softly, tears and snot soak his shirt but he takes it all. I scream and scream as much as I can emptying my overfilled heart. "You l-left m-me." I wail into his neck.

"Give them to me, Lumina. All the pain and suffering I caused you. Give them to me tonight, for I will take it all away." He says clutching me to him tighter.

My every hit, my every sob, my every scream spoke to him. I didn’t have to speak words for my actions showed him how much agony my soul had to take. He saw it, felt it all, and held me in his arms like a scared pup for he was drowning in fear as well.

As time passes, I don’t calm down. My sobs grow louder, screams sharper. My fear of losing him again consumes me overtaking the instructions to be calm from my mind. "Lumina, please!" He says, tone pleading for he cannot bear to see me like this anymore.

"T-This is not real!" I sob my palm clutching onto his crumpled shirt. His hand softly caresses my hair trying his best to calm me down.

"I am real, Lumina. So please! Please stop crying." He whispers.

"I c-can not feel you. Your soul, I cannot feel it." I scream and wail again. If this were real I would be able to feel him deep inside me. I would be able to see his mind, his heart.

He quickly fists my hair from the back whilst pulling it down baring my neck to him. With one look at my eyes, he sinks his fangs into my mark once more. I choke on my tears as sobs try to leak from my open mouth. He tears down deep into the mark claiming me as his once again.

My sobs die down as soon as I feel him within me. He soothes me bringing light into my darkness and my clutch upon his shirt finally loosens as I close my eyes, stray tears streaming down my cheeks. All his emotions strike me together at once, taking me by surprise.

His mind shows me pictures of me placing flowers in the vase beside his bed. Of me sobbing clutching onto his hand, of me reading a book, of me leaving a gentle kiss on his forehead. These times he could hear me, feel me but couldn’t see me so these were the pictures his mind made up so he could acquire a glimpse of his female.

With every picture, every emotion, every memory he showed my soul absorbs it like a sponge and as my eyes remain closed I fall in his arms. He catches me swiftly. Knowing I will succumb to rest I allow myself one last look at my male.

He looks down at me seizing me tightly with a worried appearance. My eyes flutter close but I open them again so I could...smile. A soft smile paints my lips and he looks down with utter tenderness whilst his thumb wipes the tears under my eyes. "Rest now for when you wake up I will spend every day proving that this is not a dream." He whispers.