The Female Alpha You Can't Tame

Chapter 45: Chapter 45 I Love It

I scoff as my cheeks burn with embarrassment. He played me! He was testing my strength against him. I leave the room quickly shutting his door with a loud bang. I am embarrassed, frustrated and aroused. My feelings are all over the place.

As the sun sets and night is born, I wander around my room trying to distract myself as my thoughts are consumed by him. Deimos is both fire and ice, one day he burns me with the heat of his touch and gaze and another day he freezes me with his cold words and actions. He’s unstable with himself...with us and until he knows what he wants for sure I don’t want to give in. I cannot keep getting hurt by this male.

A knock interrupts my thoughts. "Alpha." Elriam says and bows deeply as I open the door.

"Yes, Elriam." I say softly.

"It is time for dinner, the pack is waiting. The pups are hungry." She replies as my eyes widen and I look at the clock.

"I didn’t even notice!" I rush towards the armchair grabbing my coat, I cover myself and run downstairs with Elriam behind me.

Opening the doors to the dining hall, I stride quickly towards my seat. This is the first time I have ever been late. Deimos is probably very upset. He is probably going to show me his anger in front of all the wolves. And the pack must be upset as well. I sit down quietly, put the napkin on my lap while silently preparing myself to face his wrath. A Luna is never late, even to dinner.

"I apologize I was distract-." I begin my apology as Deimos cuts me off.

"No need to apologize. It is alright." Deimos says softly taking a bite of his food giving the signal for the pack to finally begin eating as my eyes widen. I stare at Deimos as he eats his food. After a while due to my continuous staring, he stops eating and looks at me.

"Why are you staring at me this way, mate?" He questions me with a tilt to his head.

I immediately slap my palm on his forehead as he flinches and furrows his eyebrows. I check his pulse as well. "Your temperature is normal. Are you feeling alright? Did you take some wrong medication?" I ask him worried, my eyes scanning his body for injuries.

"What are you on about?" Deimos asks sighing.

"You aren’t upset. Why isn’t he upset? This is really weird." I talk to him and myself looking at my feet.

"What are you on about?" He asks looking even more confused.

"I was late to dinner. Why aren’t you upset? Shouldn’t you be screaming my ears off now about how a Luna should never be late and so on?" I question him as his confusion slowly turns into a small chuckle.

The pack stop their chatter and turn their heads towards Deimos watching him with widened eyes. This is probably the first time they have heard their Alpha chuckle or even smile.

"Would you rather I do it, mate?" He asks me softly as I quickly shake my head earning a soft smile from his lips. Some wolves in the hall gasp. "Then eat." He says as we both begin to eat our food quietly.

After dinner I slip away quietly from the dining hall to the open fields. My belly is full and I need to stretch my limbs before going to bed. Looking towards the pine trees I close my eyes, my ears enjoying the sounds as they rustle to the wind. As the soft breeze flows, I clutch my coat tighter to myself. Sometimes I feel cold. I do not know if it’s my body or my soul.

"Are you cold, mate?" I hear Deimos’s voice as the wind carries his sound to me.

I look to the side as he walks up to me and stands to my left. "Yes. Sometimes." I whisper as he looks at me.

"Then you should be near me because I always seem to be hot." He says as I laugh. "It’s true. If you don’t believe me, you may test it out." He says confidently opening his arms to me implying to hug him and I laugh even more.

"Aren’t you just trying to score yourself a hug?" I ask him playfully as his lips lift up in a sly smile.

"Well, there goes my perfect plan." Deimos says as we both laugh softly. He looks towards the pine trees and questions me softly, "Do you like it here? The environment and my wolves?"

My eyes widen to his question. This is the first time he has asked me about my feelings about his pack. He should have asked this when I first came here but still, he has finally asked me! Deimos shifts uncomfortably unsure and in fear of my answer.

"What if I said I don’t?" I whisper as he closes his eyes tightly and bawls his fists.

"Then you must tell me how I can make you feel better." He replies softly as I smile gently.

"I love it." I say and Deimos snaps his eyes to me. "I love it here. It’s warm and beautiful, more than my own pack lands. As an Alpha I am not ashamed to admit it." I tell him as he smiles.

Deimos takes a deep breath in as if he is relieved and whispers, "That’s great."

When the conversation comes to an end and silence envelopes us, we stare at each other. Not touching, not speaking. Just feeling. Feeling with our eyes.

Deimos takes a step forward and I immediately take a step back. He slowly removes his jacket and puts it upon my shoulders tightening it across my neck.

"Keep warm and don’t stay out too long. Sleep well, mate." He says softly and with one last look into my eyes he moves away. I hold his jacket tighter against me cuddled in the warmth it provides me sniffing his scent as I smile watching his back as he walks away.

Deimos is changing. He probably doesn’t see or feel it yet. But I can see. His small changes.