The Female Alpha You Can't Tame

Chapter 44: Chapter 44 Small Changes

Have you ever sunk deep into the depth of desire as your heart wished for you to drown while your mind told you to fight against the waves? When I look at Deimos I am always caught by desire’s net. Desire to touch. Desire for a taste. Desire to possess. With each passing day it overtakes me inch by inch sinking its fangs deep within me sucking my will to fight.

It has been days since Deimos brought me back and he often tries to be near me. From a heated gaze to a soft graze against my skin. Though I act as if I do not care, I hide behind my veil of happiness. It makes me happy to see him try. It’s a first.

"Luna!" Ragon calls out to me with a big wave as I greet him with a smile.

"Ragon. Quite energetic today?" I ask him softly with a chuckle as his cheeks burn to a shade of pink.

"I was just happy to see you. We missed this. We missed seeing you like this, being a part of us." He smiles though I can see a hint of sadness in his eyes as he recalls those days.

"I only said what I said as a joke but I understand." I tell him softly as Ragon clears his throat.

"Luna, I wanted to te-." Ragon begins to speak as he is cut off by another wolf.

"Beta! You need to hurry or we are going to be late!" The wolf shouts towards Ragon as he looks behind and sighs.

"Luna, I apologize but would you please do me a favor and keep these in Alpha’s office. These are extremely important documents which I cannot entrust to any other wolf. I was going to keep it myself but looks like I need to leave right now." Ragon asks me hesitantly as I nod taking the files from his hand.

"No problem. Go ahead. I’ll make sure I deliver these safely." I tell him walking towards Deimos’s castle as Ragon bows and runs to the car.

Humming a light tune I climb up the stairs approaching Deimos’s office. I walk softly, my footsteps quiet as my feet land upon the wooden floor. Reaching his office, I knock on the door waiting for his reply. I wait for a few seconds as I hear no sound from the other side of the door.

Placing my hand on the door handle I open the door slowly as his scent flows into my nostrils. The table and the floor are filled with papers and notes. His bookshelf seems unorganized which is unusual. Stepping into the office I sweep my eyes through all of his mess.

With a loud sigh while shaking my head I begin grabbing all the papers and books organizing and cleaning up the office. Walking towards his table my eyes land on the pile of books thrown across it.

I pick up the bright pink colored book as I read its title. "How to fall in love?" Looking towards the other books I read their titles as well. "What is love? How to make her fall in love. Differences between males and females.... What is the meaning of love?" I chuckle loudly and begin to get into a fit of laughter.

Isn’t this male funny? How can you understand love by reading books? Love is not to be understood but felt and shown! But in his case, I don’t think he has a choice. This is his way of learning. I just...love the fact that he’s trying. I love it that he wishes to take the first step and help heal the main blockage in our relationship.

I begin to flip through the books scanning across the words littered on the pages. Some of them hold great deep meaning while the others teach like how you would to a pup. This is quite interesting. I never knew books like these existed.

The sound of someone clearing their throat startles me as I drop the books quickly and turn around. Deimos stands leaning on the door hands folded across his chest with his eyebrows raised questioningly.

"I-I w-was... I was just you know." I begin to explain stuttering. I feel nervous all of a sudden.

"Snooping?" He asks me as his lips lift up to a slight smirk.

"Cleaning. I was going to say cleaning." Bending down, I pick up the books off the floor putting them back on the table arranging them one upon the other. With one last look at the table, I nod feeling satisfied with its cleanliness.

"Thank you, mate." Deimos whispers in my ear, his voice husky as I flinch and turn around quickly only to come face to face with Deimos. I gasp due to the sudden closeness between us as he watches my lips and I watch his eyes. How did he even get so close without me noticing?

I take a step back as he takes one forward towards me and my back hits the side of the table. His eyes see this and he looks back up at me. I look towards the door and back at him.

"Don’t females usually clean up the mess of their males? Do you consider me as yours?" Deimos questions me leaning forward closer to me as I lean backwards to maintain some distance between us. And to reduce the pace of my beating heart.

"I just cleaned it because it was messy. There was no meaning behind it." I tell him moving my body as back as possible from him.

Deimos puts his nose into my neck taking a whiff of my scent as he whispers. "Hmmm. Keep talking mate. I miss your voice." I shiver as I take a deep breath in.

"I-I need to go." I say moving towards the right to go around him but he blocks my path placing his hand on the table. I look at his hand and sigh. I try to move towards my left and he blocks my path once more caging me within his hold.

Looking back at him into his eyes. He seems to be analyzing me. "You run, mate." He speaks.

"What?" I ask him.

"You run when I come near you." He says as I shake my head.

"Not really. You are just overthinking things." I say looking away from him.

He steps closer to me as my eyes widen feeling his hot breath on my face. "You fear you will not be able to control yourself. You do not wish to give in." He says confidently.

Lifting his hand, he glides his fingertips up the side of my neck as I stumble to his touch. "My touch sparks a fire within you that you don’t have to power to extinguish. Fighting it should be hard for you, mate." I remain silent not wishing to answer him as he lifts his hand and brings it towards my face. I move my face away from his path.

"You do not wish for me to touch you. You are punishing me, yes?" He asks me as my skin begins to burn. What Deimos cannot see is that every time he is near me my heart increases its pace and my body shakes with utter need. Need for him to be inside me.

By now mates would have mated and the female would have borne pups but us, we are still in the beginning stage where the need to mate grows stronger with days. The longer we wait the more painful it will become. My next heat will be unbearable unless we mate and this scares me.

"I do not know what you are talking about." I tell him my tone strong as he tilts his head to the side. Deimos holds my chin softly and lifts it up slowly bringing his lips closer to mine. His hot breath fans across my cheeks. I clench my fists as my heart beat increases.

I have missed his taste so much. I want it. I want him to kiss me. But I cannot give in. He hurt me! He can’t get me so soon. What should I do? Should I let him, do it? Should I move aside? I don’t know anymore! Losing my self-battle, I close my eyes tightly preparing myself for his lips.

"I understand." Deimos says moving away from me as he walks to the chair puts on his glasses and begins his work. "If you wish for me to kiss you mate, ask me and I’ll do it. I will not kiss you unless you ask me. I will respect your wishes."