The Canary that couldn't escape

Chapter 857: Chapter 858: The Never-Ending Nightmare 3

"I really hate myself. Just because of my foolish playfulness, I caused their suffering... I’ll never be able to forgive myself. In the two years after they died, I had nightmares every day, couldn’t sleep every night, became increasingly reclusive, and didn’t like to speak a word..."

"Later, on the day of my parents’ memorial, I mustered the courage to come here and confide my remorse and pain to them."

"Then I could feel them smiling at me, gently comforting me by my side."

"The next morning, I’d feel a sense of relief... So every year on this day, I come here to repent for my mistakes, hoping to find some peace..."

"Ran, I’m telling you all this not to seek your sympathy."

"I just need someone to listen. I’ve buried this secret alone for so many years. It’s been so hard. If I don’t speak out, I won’t be able to endure it. The repression will just grow, and one day, I’ll collapse..."

Fujiwara Ize smiled faintly, looking relaxed. "Now that I’ve finally told someone the secret hidden in my heart, I suddenly feel much lighter."

"..." Mo Ran leaned against the wall, without responding to him.

Fujiwara Ize had told her these things, and she felt not much but a sense of pity for him.

He was better off than Gu Yixuan, having parents who loved him dearly, but he had personally destroyed that happiness.

"Ran, do you know why I must have you?" Fujiwara Ize suddenly asked.

Mo Ran’s eyes flickered slightly, waiting for his next words.

"Because both Gu Yixuan and I are people who can’t attain happiness. I had happiness but couldn’t keep it. He never had happiness and couldn’t obtain it."

"We are both equally pitiable, appearing strong on the surface but with no warmth inside."

"I like you, truly because I like the love you have for Gu Yixuan."

"I think, if you could love me in the same way, I might feel very happy, and my heart would feel warm."

"You’ll never know how much I crave a ray of sunshine. What others can easily obtain, I desperately yearn for but have never gotten."

"Therefore, I must seize you. I need to attain happiness and warmth. For this, I can sacrifice anything."

"As long as... I can once again experience that feeling of happiness, no matter what it takes, I am willing to do it..."