Chapter 141: First Kiss (2)
"Why am I seeing this?" Kestrel was puzzled, certain that these images wasn’t the underground world she knew. That place was foreign to her.
Trying to shake off the confusion, she instinctively reached out, catching the tear that had rolled down Ren’s face. Holding it up, she observed the liquid closely.
"A tear?" She was sure she hadn’t seen one before, yet there was a strange sense of familiarity: having witnessed this man in such a raw, vulnerable state before, his eyes filled with sorrow.
Kestrel’s brow wrinkled in confusion, feeling a sharp, stinging pain in her head as scattered memories swirled, like ice cracking on a winter lake’s surface.
Mixed emotions welled up inside her, pushing their way to the surface.
"Why am I being so mean to him? Why? Especially when I clearly like him, maybe even more than just ’like’." Acting on impulse, Kestrel released her grip on Ren. Being careful not to hurt him further, she decreased the heightened sensitivity she had induced.
Ren was sprawled among the tendrils, drenched in perspiration and visibly shaking, trying to regain his bearings. He looked up at Kestrel, his lips trembling but no words emerging. But Kestrel intuitively moved closer to him.
She got so close that their foreheads nearly touched, and she could see the wetness on his lashes and his hazy look. His lips parted slightly, revealing his tongue, struggling to form words.
"How can he not despise me after all this? He truly is special." Kestrel’s thoughts were all over the place, her memories tangled with the figure lying in front of her, mixing the past and the present.
Though she had been ready to feast on him, she now hesitated. And surprisingly, Ren’s scent was intoxicating, drawing her in like the aroma of a fresh, juicy fruit.
Kestrel, slowly and cautiously, leaned even closer. In the dim light, their noses brushed against each other, sharing warm breaths.
She felt a longing to do something, something she’d been unaware of until now. Her eyes sought permission from him. In the low light, she could see the fear in his eyes, but he didn’t pull away, instead moistening his lips. So she licked on his wet lips.
He tasted sweet, reminiscent of the candy he once shared with her.
Kestrel relished the taste, finding solace in it. The sweet flavor eased her restless heart, even dulling the sharp pain she felt in her head.
The overpowering desire Kestrel once felt for psychic power seemed to evaporate in that moment. It was as if she’d been yanked from a celestial realm, back to earthly terrain, transformed into a being flooded with human emotions and desires.
She gently let go of Ren. In the encompassing darkness, his face was a blur. But she was certain of one thing—his eyes were captivating, reminiscent of a tranquil lake nestled amidst blossoming meadows.
"He’s so endearing."
There might be countless flavors in the world, yet Kestrel felt drawn only to this one.
She observed Ren, his mouth parting, seemingly searching for words. Oddly enough, she grasped his unspoken feelings. With tenderness, she lifted him from the mass of tendrils, allowing his damp head to find solace on her shoulder.
Gaining clarity, an urge to apologize bubbled within her. But in the warmth of their embrace, words felt redundant. Only heartbeats spoke.
The nest echoed with the soft patter of dripping water and the rhythmic thumping of two intertwined hearts. The tendrils seemed to sense the atmosphere, gently cocooning the pair. Both bore scars, one evident on the skin and the other etched in broken memories. Both incomplete.
A sense of déjà vu enveloped Kestrel. "We’ve been here before."
The conviction that this scene had played out somewhere in her past was strong, though her hazy mind throbbed, making it hard to piece things together.
Kestrel sensed a slight movement. Ren’s fingers, initially limp by his side, twitched. It seemed like he wished to reach out but hesitated.
"He’s afraid to touch me, fearing rejection," she surmised. "This feels like a replayed memory."
However, this time, her prediction faltered. Ren, mustering courage, lifted his moist arm, wrapping it around her, returning her embrace.
A searing pain sliced through Kestrel’s thoughts, threatening to tear her consciousness apart.
Fragmented visions emerged—a majestic golden tree, its leaves cascading like molten gold in a stygian cavern. Beneath this spectacle, it appeared as though Kestrel was fading, with Ren clutching her desperately, tears staining her pallid face.
Kestrel felt overwhelmed. Since her awakening, she’d perceived herself as a calm, logical deity, largely devoid of emotional waves. Yet Ren’s presence ignited a spectrum of emotions in her—joy, sorrow, passion. She wasn’t just an impassive figure now; she was alive, vibrant.
Now she realized that, perhaps she wasn’t the godlike entity her followers believed her to be.
Tucked away in her psyche were myriad memories she hadn’t accessed, memories kept hidden by the very creatures who revered her.
The sheer size of her body filled her with an intense, deep-seated hunger, while a jumble of memories stirred up her feelings. It was like she had two battling forces inside of her, creating a confusing and uncomfortable mix. Something inside churned, bringing her sharp discomfort and pain.
Luckily, someone was right there with Kestrel, giving her comfort. His shoulders felt broad beneath her touch, his arms sturdy and protective. His warmth was like a blazing fire, and she recognized his scent. It was comforting.
Being close, they shared each other’s warmth, and this helped soothe Kestrel’s unease. She figured out that the pain wasn’t something she should run from, and that she had the strength to face it head-on.
While he held Kestrel close, Ren felt a mix of happiness and sadness, his mind drifting back to their unexpected kiss.
Everything had unfolded so quickly; he was still trying to piece together how they got to that moment—especially since just a little while earlier, he felt like his end was near.
Kestrel had been inches away, her long lashes casting shadows, her eyes, glistening with unshed tears, seeking answers in the dark, even wanting to know what he felt.
Deep down, Ren knew he should’ve pulled away. But in the closeness of that dark moment, he was too overwhelmed, craving a gentle touch.
Still, he understood that what Kestrel felt for him wasn’t romantic love. The Kestrel he knew now was still figuring out basic human stuff. She had even thought of ending him just before. Maybe she had kissed him on a whim, for fun, or due to some confusion she was feeling.
He pondered if, someday when she fully woke up to her past, she’d remember today.
"This is hard for me," Ren mused sadly. "Maybe once upon a time, I could pretend I was just a buddy to her. But after this? If I ever saw her with someone else, holding hands or sharing a moment like ours, it’d break my heart. Never mind... in this very moment, I feel completely hers."
Clutching Kestrel even tighter, Ren quietly cherished the memory of their kiss.
Kestrel’s mouth had taken over his, turning his world upside down, leaving him breathless and his head spinning, making him oblivious to everything else. In that daze, he even thought that if she wished to end him, she might as well have done it then.
That brief moment of happiness was something he’d cherish forever— even if it was a single, fleeting moment, it was worth it.
