Chapter 140: First Kiss (1)
Ren always thought he had Kestrel all figured out. He’d seen Kestrel’s many fights, knew what Kestrel liked and didn’t like, and could even spot tiny changes in Kestrel’s usually calm face. But he didn’t expect Kestrel to ever hurt him like this.
Kestrel could now dive into Ren’s psychic landscape without any struggle. Like walking into an open door.
A freezing feeling spread quickly inside Ren, changing everything. It was as if every gust of wind or brush of air against his skin made him shudder. The slightest rub from his clothes felt like it could hurt him. He wanted to get away, but his arms and legs wouldn’t listen. They felt like they were tied up.
Looking up, Ren’s eyes grew wide. He saw a dark, wet ceiling. Then he felt something cold and wet start crawling up from his ankles. His shoes and socks were taken off, and this chilly thing kept moving, climbing up his feet, feeling so intense.
Every spot that thing touched seemed to shake. He wanted to yell out Kestrel’s name, but he couldn’t. Something got into his mouth immediately.
Then he saw Kestrel, so different than he remembered. This wasn’t the beta he knew. This Kestrel was emotionless, with cold tendrils. Ren could see the anger in Kestrel’s eyes, punishing him for something he had done.
His fingers felt like ice. He tried grabbing onto something, anything, but all he felt was a weird, tingly feeling that left him weak. He was covered in sweat, feeling all sticky.
He was a fighter having been hurt so many times that he thought he could face any challenge. But now, that protective wall he had in his spiritual world was being taken apart, piece by piece. He felt so exposed to the air, and all the while under Kestrel’s freezing stare.
He could feel himself shaking and making quiet sounds of distress. It took him back to that night at the Military Minister’s dinner. His body felt so similar, maybe even more intense. His arms and legs felt heavy and useless, and every touch felt magnified.
Back then, Kestrel had been there to help and save Ren, pulling him away from danger. But now, Kestrel seemed like a cold monster, hurting him.
He felt like he was sinking into a never-ending pit of darkness. He didn’t know how it would end—maybe he’d be torn apart or squashed, meeting a painful and shameful end.
"But I chose this," Ren whispered to himself, closing his eyes.
Kestrel looked down at Ren, who was struggling on the ground. His eyes looked tired and had red patches, and his black hair was all wet from sweating. Even in his current state, Ren looked good—with long legs, a fit waist, and a strong-looking body. There were scars peeking from under his clothes, telling tales of his past battles. Even though they marked his past fights, there was something intriguing about them. He looked so out of place and defeated.
Kestrel realized that Taja might have been right. The feeling of dominating alphas was really intense. In this moment, her mind seemed to sync up with Ren’s, and it felt like diving into a warm, vast sea. It was so comforting.
Inside, Ren’s inner world felt both powerful and kind. His spirit shone brightly, making Kestrel even more curious.
Kestrel started to feel this intense craving. It was like her very core was telling her it was time to take something. She felt like she hadn’t eaten in forever. This intense feeling made her want to keep messing with Ren, to break him down completely.
There was this voice, probably from her blood, telling her to take Ren’s powerful psychic energy. It was like feeding on this strong energy was Kestrel’s ancestors’ second nature, which would make them even more powerful and dominant.
This hunger inside Kestrel grew stronger, making her feel all sorts of emotions like anger, impatience, and desired.
Kestrel’s tendrils reached out to stop Ren as he tried to crawl away. They pulled him back to her. Now, Ren seemed to feel everything more intensely. Every tug on his clothes seemed to make his skin react. He shuddered with every touch, but he still tried to fight back.
Kestrel got closer, bending down so that her face was near his.
"Why’d you lie to me?" she demanded, her voice filled with hurt. "I really cared about you."
The tendril that was in Ren’s mouth pulled out, leaving it damp.
"Kestrel, please come back to your senses," Ren managed to say with difficulty. "I didn’t want to trick you."
"You didn’t trick me? I think you did."
"I... I was..." Ren stumbled over his words.
"Just promise me you won’t lie again. Stay with me."
"Kestrel," Ren said, clearly in pain and confusion, "remember who you used to be..."
Kestrel interrupted, "You’ll feel everything a hundred times more now." She seemed cold and unforgiving, like a wild animal.
Ren tried to say something, to reason with her, "Hold on... I..." But before he could finish, Kestrel did something to him, making him feel everything so intensely.
Suddenly, Ren felt like he was turning into liquid, as if he was melting away. He felt so weak and defenseless.
The atmosphere felt stifling and hot, as though he’d been dropped into a whirlwind and then placed on glowing embers. It felt like his body had dissolved, fully consumed by the heat, but every tiny sensation still echoed throughout.
Kestrel stood before him. Always dressed to perfection, she gazed at him with a distant look, extending one finger in his direction.
As that finger brushed against him, its touch was feather-light and a bit playful.
Ren felt as if his whole self moved with the rhythm of that finger’s touch. He wanted to shout, to beg her to stop, but his voice was lost. He was trapped, unsure of what had happened or what he should do.
In this shadowy, humid realm, every hidden vulnerability, every emotion he tried to bury – his weaknesses, sadness, anger, and pathetic state – was displayed openly before the one person he held in the highest regard.
Ren felt like he was breaking into pieces. His heart was drowning in sadness, but his body, embarrassingly, felt some kind of pleasure.
"Kestrel..."
"Kestrel..."
His mind was consumed by her, and her name was the only thought he could grasp onto.
Kestrel observed Ren. His eyes looked distant and lost. His toned muscles glistened with sweat, twitching continuously. Her finger gently moved across his skin, brushing his cheek and finally resting on his cool lips. She considered when to completely break him and absorb his psychic energy.
A powerful hunger stirred within her, with every cell in her body urging her to consume Ren quickly. But for some reason, she hesitated.
Twisting tendrils sprawled all around the dim underground city. They notice there were many alphas in this vast dungeon. All of them were living beings, resembling the man in front of her: with a head, arms, legs, eyes, and some even with the same black hair.
"There are so many alphas out there, so many choices. He’s not unique; I can just consume him," Kestrel mused. Without her realizing, her eyes took on a yellow hue, and the pupils became speckled.
Her fingers, pale and delicate, gripped Ren tighter. Ren’s lips slightly parted, and as he whispered Kestrel’s name, his tongue trembled.
Kestrel suddenly stopped.
"After all, there are tons of alphas. Once he’s gone, I can always find another," an inner voice whispered to Kestrel.
"Kestrel," Ren’s voice came through, soft and soothing like a stream. A single tear, clear and shining, rolled down from his reddish eyes, getting lost in his deep black hair.
Kestrel suddenly stopped, hit by a rush of unfamiliar images—a dim yet opulent room with shimmering crystals hanging from above. There was a bathroom connected, the faint sound of water trickling from the tub. A shadowy figure could be seen behind frosted glass, eyes wet and reddened, taking shallow breaths... murmuring her name, Kestrel.
