Chapter 109: Little Azure
The air in this spiritual realm was entirely different—thicker, darker, and heavy with a suffocating, crushing depression. A freezing rain poured relentlessly from a pitch-black sky that was missing both the moon and the stars. The drops fell hard, like bitter tears begging for a mercy that would never come. Below, a violent ocean rumbled and thrashed.
Odesse struggled in the freezing water, fighting the heavy waves just to keep her head above the surface. She gasped for air, coughing as the saltwater stung her throat.
"What is going on in her soul?" she thought, her head slipping beneath a wave before she forced herself back up. The torrential rain beat against her face as she blinked through the darkness, desperate to catch her breath. "Why is it raining so much? Where is the land? How does someone carry this much pain inside their own soul?"
A wave splashed directly into her mouth. She spat it out in sheer annoyance. "Where do I find land?" She peered up at the sky. Nothing. "No moon, no stars." Dunking her head beneath the surface to look down, she saw only an endless, pitch-black void. She began to swim faster, her arms cutting through the violent swells. "I don’t even know how to swim," she realized, "but somehow, in this place, my body just knows what to do."
Thunder rumbled, shaking the very foundation of the ocean. Odesse squinted up at the sky and stuck her tongue out to catch the rain, pulling it back in with a grimace. "Lightning is about to show up," she muttered, rolling her eyes. "Great timing."
She stopped swimming and floated on her back, using her arms to tread water. She was running out of energy. She groaned loudly into the tempest. "She exhausts me in the real world, and she exhausts me in her soul."
Odesse closed her eyes to rest for a fraction of a second.
"Do you need help?" Odesse’s eyes flew open. The voice sounded like a young girl. She looked around wildly. "Who is that?" she shouted over the wind.
"Do you need help?" the voice called out again.
"Yes! Please, I do!" Odesse screamed back.
There was a brief pause before the girl’s voice shouted back, "Well, who’s going to help you?"
Odesse’s expression fell into a flat, incredibly annoyed stare. "What?" she muttered to herself. The rain kept pouring, and there was still no sign of life on the water. "Where are you?!" she demanded.
"I am over here. Can you not see me?"
Instantly, the violent ocean and freezing rain vanished.
The suffocating cold was replaced by the dry, quiet warmth of a small, dimly lit cottage. Odesse stood shivering in the center of the cozy parlor, completely soaked. Water pooled at her boots as she blinked, trying to comprehend the sudden shift. "How did I get here?" she whispered.
A small movement in the corner of the room caught her eye. A young girl stepped out from the shadows—little Azure. She walked toward Odesse with slow, curious steps.
"Who are you?" the girl asked.
Odesse, still shivering, looked at the small face before her. "Are you... Azure?"
The little girl stopped a few paces away, her brow furrowing. "Yes, I am. How do you know me?"
Odesse looked at her, softened by the sight of the child, and smiled. "You are very beautiful."
Little Azure’s face immediately turned cold. "I asked you a question. Who are you, and how do you know me?"
The warm smile vanished from Odesse’s face. "I am Odesse. How I know you isn’t important right now."
Little Azure stared at her for a moment, then walked over to a nearby couch. She sat down, watching Odesse shiver, and began to smile. Then, she let out a small laugh.
Odesse frowned. "Do you have a warm blanket, maybe, instead of laughing?"
"I do not think I do," little Azure replied smoothly, rolling her eyes. But she stood up anyway, walking into an adjacent room.
Odesse looked around the quiet, rustic parlor. "A nice place for a soul," she murmured.
A moment later, little Azure walked back out carrying a thick blanket. She marched up to Odesse and stretched her small arms out, offering it. Odesse took it gently. "Thank you."
As Odesse wrapped the dry fabric tightly around her shivering shoulders, the little girl went back to the couch and claimed her seat. Odesse walked over and prepared to sit down beside her.
"What are you doing?" little Azure asked sharply.
"Sitting," Odesse said.
"That will not be possible, I’m afraid," Azure replied, her voice childishly clinical. "You will get the couch soaked."
Odesse sighed, her body aching. "Where do I sit, then?"
Little Azure shrugged her small shoulders. "I do not know."
Odesse looked around the room. Her legs felt heavy and numb, and she simply didn’t have the energy to stand. Reluctantly, she sat down on the edge of the couch anyway.
"Are you out of your mind?!" little Azure shouted.
Odesse just smiled, reaching out and gently booping the little girl’s nose. "You are very cute, you know."
Little Azure instantly flinched and scooted to the far end of the cushions. "Do not touch me, Odesse."
Odesse let out a soft chuckle. "How old are you?"
"Old enough to know you are not meant to be in here," the girl replied.
Silence fell over the parlor. Odesse kept her eyes on her, watching the way the young girl’s tough facade seemed to flicker. Sensing the quiet gaze, little Azure looked down, her voice dropping to a quiet whisper. "I will turn sixteen in three days’ time."
"That is wonderful," Odesse said softly.
The child didn’t respond. She just stared at her knees, her small hands gently rubbing her own arms. Odesse looked around the room once more, pulling the blanket tighter against her skin as a chill ran through her.
"How do you calculate your age when this is your soul?" Odesse asked, her brow furrowing. "And... why are you still a child?"
Little Azure looked up, her gaze incredibly slow and hollow. "Because my soul and body never really aged, Odesse."
"What do you mean?"
"Every day in my soul has always been three days before I turn sixteen."
Odesse’s eyes widened. "Why is that?"
"Because that was when I killed my father," little Azure replied simply.
A sudden, freezing wave of horror gripped Odesse’s chest, making her legs feel completely frozen. "What?!"
Little Azure offered a faint, sad smile. "The living Azure died three days before she turned sixteen. Since then, she has never been the same."
"Why..." Odesse’s voice shook, her breath catching in her throat. "Why did you kill your father?"
"Because he said I could never have Valex for myself," the child explained, her small hands tightening into fists. "He said I could not have everything I wanted in this life. It was when I was protesting. He wanted to marry me off to my dead husband, after I received his mark. My father refused to help me get out of it. I was filled with so much anger... so I poisoned his food. And he died."
Odesse stared at the young girl, her face contorted with pity and pain. "So... how did you die that day?"
Little Azure hesitated, her eyes glistening. "Because right after the poison reached my father’s heart and he collapsed... my brain changed everything. It made me forget. It made me forget that I was the one who killed him."
Tears began to stream down the little girl’s cheeks. "The Azure you see up there, in the waking world... she is a ghost who does not even know her own identity. The storm you see outside this cottage has been raging forever. Her soul is troubled, and there is no peace. The only part of her that could ever find quiet is right here, in this house, because I decided to let go of all of it."
"That is why she finds no peace in living," Odesse whispered, the realization settling heavily in her chest.
Little Azure nodded slowly. "When I was young, and I came home with blood all over me... my parents were so shocked."
"Why were you covered in blood?" Odesse asked, holding her breath.
"I killed a human," little Azure said quietly.
Odesse gasped.
"I was eight years old," the girl continued. "You know... my parents got it all wrong because i told them a lie. I didn’t take the forest path home because it was a shortcut. It was actually very long. But the kids at school... everyone looked at me oddly. They looked at me with disgust because I bit off a child’s ear."
"Why did you do that?"
"Because he was trying to touch me," little Azure said, her eyes vacant.
Odesse gasped silently, her heart breaking for the child.
"I did not like the way they looked at me," little Azure continued. "So I always took the forest. On that day, I saw a bush shaking heavily. I thought it was an animal—a bear, or a deer, or something else. I transformed into my wolf form and dashed at the tree, thinking I was catching prey. I only found out it was a human after. I never intended for him to die. But his blood... it was truly so bitter. When I got home, mother slapped me. But father... father praised me. My parents were never really good role models, Odesse. My mother always looked at me with disgust and cursed the day I was born. My father tried to tell me she still loved me, that it was just tough love."
Little Azure rolled her eyes, letting out a bitter, mocking scoff.
"I tried to forget about it. I tried to have a normal relationship with my mother. That was... until I caught her in her infidelity. And then, I saw Valex. My obsession began. And then I killed my father... and my brain finally cracked." Her voice grew thick, trembling under the weight of a decade of madness. "I was never the same again."
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