Chapter 69: You’re Fucked Up
"See!" I said as I was thrown into a tree, as the vine snapped me quickly around a curve. I grunted out of reflex, but my suit absorbed the abuse, and I actually didn’t feel anything. And the force of that hit would have easily broken a few bones if I was not protected. "We keep using the same word. I wanted to know if there was anything else that we could use and have it make sense."
"Are you serious?" asked Jun Li, flabbergasted.
"What can I say? My brain works in mysterious ways," I replied as, once again, I was thrown into another tree. This time it was the tree that cracked and toppled over. We must be getting into a denser section of the jungle if I keep hitting so many trees. It was a good thing that Jun Li could pick me up anywhere on the planet. Otherwise, I would have been concerned about finding my way back.
"Your brain is fucked up; you know that, right?" he asked.
"Yes, I am well aware. And I have been told that by people that didn’t get their psychology degree from Google. Now, are you going to help me? Otherwise, I am going to have to start doing random calculus equations in my head, and that won’t be a good thing."
"Why? Scared that you won’t learn the definition of ’through’?" I swear to God, if you could smack a smirk off of a spaceship, I would have done it by now.
"No. Because the more complicated the thing keeping me occupied, the harder it is for my brain to get out of it. I want to be able to function when I get to the vine, not trying to figure out string theory."
"I could explain string theory to you. It is really not as complicated as you humans make it out to be."
"Thesaurus, now, please," I pushed out. I needed the distraction before my brain found its own route to go on, and I was trapped in my head.
"Fine," said Jun Li with a put-out sigh. "Did you need the definition?"
"No, thank you," I said as I calmed down and let my mind go blank, waiting for information."
"Fine. Some synonyms of through include through with, via, through and through, all through, across, finish, done, over, concluded, within, about, beyond, amid, amongst...you know, I am beginning to realize just how screwed up the English language is," said Jun Li as he took a break from naming all of the possible substitutions of ’through.’
"You have no idea. I read this thing online once that said, ’adjectives in English have to be in this order: opinion-size-age-shape-color-origin-material-purpose Noun. So, you can have a lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling knife. But if you mess with that word order in the slightest, you’ll sound like a maniac. Almost every English speaker uses that list, but almost none of us could write it out.’ It is just something that we do subconsciously."
Vomiting random thoughts also helped with my brain functioning when it came to processing things. Like the sheer distance that I have been pulled by this vine. And how long it must have been for the actual plant to be this far away from my path.
Could it have been because it had eaten all the prey within this radius, so it needed to continue to expand? But the jungle had to be ending soon, right?
"How long until we reach the edge of the jungle," I asked, my brain now working on other problems. Pity, I was going to see if I could screw up that list just for the hell of it.
There was silence on Jun Li’s side, and I was worried that some of the bumps might have had an adverse effect on the implant, but at the same time, if I couldn’t feel the bumps, then there should be no impact on the implant. "Jun Li?" I asked. I needed him to come and save my ass at the end of the day, so I didn’t want anything to happen to him.
"About the jungle," he started slowly. I really hated it when he talked like that. I knew I was not going to like the answer.
"Yes, the jungle that you dropped me in the middle before you told me that everything would try to kill me, eat me, or kill me, then eat me," I said, and I noticed that I was hitting a lot fewer trees. "How fast are we going now?" I asked.
"25 miles per hour," came the quick reply. We were slowing down significantly, which meant that we should be by the tree soon. At least I lost the spider the size of a medium dog. There is always something good in every situation.
"You were telling me about the jungle?"
"See, that might be a bit of a problem," said Jun Li as I was launched off of another log in the path.
"How is it a problem?" I asked, not understanding. It was not like the jungle could go on forever. There had to be civilizations that called this planet home. It was a Goldie-locks planet that even I could breathe the air on, so why wouldn’t people be here?
"The jungle doesn’t end. It encompasses the planet completely except for a few large lakes scattered throughout the area."
"No civilizations with hotels?" I asked as I came to a stop. "Never mind. Have to go. Talk to you later," I said as I looked at the plant in front of me.
To call this thing a plant was like calling the Burj Khalifa a hut. In no way, shape, or form did it even come close to describing it.
I think I was in love.
The majestic tree stood miles taller than any of the trees around it. It looked like any willow tree I had ever seen a picture of. Its branches were hanging low, the leaves blowing in the wind. It was easily the most prominent thing around. But it also looked like anything that had once shared space with it was gone.
There was a 50 feet circumference of cleared jungle floor with the tree being in the center.
But then it hit me. Did willows even grow in the jungle? Why was there one here?
