Chapter 63: A Universal Language
I let out a bark of laughter at that. "Get the sign," I said as I crossed through the fourth intersection, my footsteps once again becoming steady and confident. "I will take up gardening just for the sign."
"If you want to garden, should I get the bots to stop tending to the plants on the lower decks?"
"Not if we want them to live," I said with a mocking smile. I knew that I was more likely to kill the plants than grow them if left to my own devices.
"Understood," said Jun Li. "You are coming up on the fifth intersection. Turn Ea—right. Turn right at the next intersection."
"You were about to say East, weren’t you?" I asked with a chuckle. If nothing else, Jun Li was a quick learner, that was for sure.
"I was not," he replied in a haughty tone, and I could practically see his nose sticking up in the air at the idea that he could be anything less than perfect.
"Sure, you weren’t," I replied as I took a right at the intersection. I would like to say that this area looked more familiar, but seeing as everything was dark gray walls, with a lighter gray floor and a... light gray ceiling. Everything pretty much looked the same to me.
However, knowing that we were actually underground and these corridors were probably dug out of the planet’s earth, it made a lot more sense that they were all the same color. It didn’t mean that I approved, only that I understood it.
"All right, where to next?" I asked as I continued to walk forward until I was told otherwise. Jun Li was not the only one that could take directions well.
"Keep going straight for another mile," he said, causing me to furrow my brows.
"It didn’t seem to be that far from the runner’s hanger to the guy’s apartment. Why is the way back so long?"
"Maybe because the ’guy’ didn’t lead you on a merry chase, preferring the most direct route."
"What are you trying to say?" I asked, feeling personally attacked.
"What I am saying is that if you had thought to ask for directions two hours sooner, you would have already been back on the ship, and we would currently be on our way somewhere else."
Ouch, that one hurt a bit. He wasn’t wrong, but that didn’t make taking it any easier.
"Where are we going next?" I asked, completely changing the subject from the fact that I was lost for two hours. It really hadn’t seemed to have been that long, but given how long I had been walking, maybe Jun Li was right.
"No idea," replied Jun Li. "It was more to emphasize the fact that we could have been long gone if you had just pushed aside your pride and asked me for help. You know, according to your internet, pride is one of the seven deadly sins."
"So is being a know-it-all, but you don’t see me commenting on it, do you?" I asked as I quickened my pace.
There was a brief pause before Jun Li got back on the comms. "No," he said. "Being a know-it-all is not one of the seven deadly sins. I thought you were from Earth. Shouldn’t you know this?"
And once again, we were back to me wanting to reach my hands through my earpiece and maybe bang his head against a wall or something. I took in a deep breath and answered him as nicely as I could. "I was being sarcastic. Please make sure you study it well; it is a language in and of itself."
"What nation speaks it?" asked Jun Li curiously, and I almost felt bad. Almost. Mind you, it never occurred to me that I would be shooting myself in the foot once he actually learned more about sarcasm and sarcastic remarks.
"Every nation," I assured him.
"All right, I will look into it," he said before the comms went silent. I continued walking forward, not at all worried about why Jun Li would stop talking to me. He had tens of thousands of things on his plate in order to make sure that he was keeping himself sane. I just happened to be one of them.
"In 150 meters, turn left," said an automated voice sounding a lot more like my car’s GPS than Jun Li.
"Jun Li, are you all right?" I asked in concern. I had yet to hear that voice out of him before.
"I am fine. Why wouldn’t I be? It’s not like you have asked me to learn a new language or anything."
Fuck my life. Was there any way to go back before I told him to learn what sarcasm was?
"I just asked you to learn what it was, not how to speak it," I said. Karma really was a bitch.
"Oh, I am so sorry that I didn’t follow your directions precisely. Are you going to put me on a time-out?"
Having had just about as much as I could take, I brought in the ace up my sleeve. "Sha Shou! Jun Li is being mean to me!"
"What?!? How? Let me talk to him. I see that he has something set up to bring you back to the ship. You follow that, and I will make sure that Jun Li apologizes for his behavior," said Sha Shou, and I could hear Jun Li groaning in the background.
When in doubt, bring in Mom. She was always able to fix things.
"Tattletale," sneered Jun Li before, once again, Sha Shou cut him off. "Now, now, there will be none of that. I have checked the audio recording, and she has only asked you to study it, not learn to speak it. And definitely not with every word that comes out of your mouth. Apologize."
"Sorry," mumbled Jun Li, so low that I could hardly hear it as the GPS told me to turn left.
"I am sorry. I couldn’t hear you," said Sha Shou, picking up sarcasm a bit too quickly for my liking.
"Sorry," said Jun Li, louder that time.
"Much better."
