Chapter 8: First Sex
Here is the Chapter with a few words and sentences expanded naturally throughout, nothing cut and nothing major added:
Let me tell you something. My heart was pounding but my nerves had somehow settled into something manageable. I want you to understand how remarkable that was given absolutely everything leading up to this particular moment.
He leaned me forward gently and took my hand. "I know you don’t know me that well yet," he said, "but I hope in time you can grow to trust me. I will not intentionally hurt you."
I saw the sincerity sitting plainly in his eyes and I believed him without hesitation. That was the part that surprised me most about myself.
He walked me back inside and up the staircase until we reached the bedroom. It was decorated in soft blues that felt tranquil and deliberate, like the room itself had been designed specifically to keep me from panicking. A huge king size sleigh bed sat in the center with plush linens and pillows that looked like they had never once been slept on wrong. He opened the door to the balcony and the sound of waves hitting the shore drifted in on the breeze.
I was on an island. In a private mansion. About to lose my virginity to a man who had cooked me shrimp scampi, set a table with gold trimmed wine glasses and blown a tear off his finger like it was a wish he intended to keep.
I had pictured this moment so many times over the years. A backseat somewhere. A cheap motel with a broken ice machine. Something rushed and awkward and forgettable that I would spend years trying not to think about. Never this. Never in my wildest and most generous imagination had I pictured anything close to this.
I wanted to cry. Not from sadness. Just from the sheer overwhelming reality of standing inside a moment so far outside of everything I had ever allowed myself to expect.
"Closet in here," he said gently, pointing around the room. "Bathroom through the double doors. Small door is the linen closet."
"Okay," I said, looking at him and holding every single piece of myself together.
He stepped behind me. "Are you okay?"
"Yes. I am fine."
He unzipped my dress slowly from the back and as it pooled at my feet he ran one hand gently down the length of my spine. I shivered from the top of my head all the way to my toes. He kissed along my neck and shoulder and then moved to stand in front of me.
"You are breathtaking," he said, cupping my face in his hand. I leaned into his touch without thinking about it first. He flipped my hair to one side and kissed my neck again with the kind of gentleness that almost undid me completely before anything else had even happened.
He released my bra straps slowly and nibbled along the top of the cup before taking both breasts in his hands and massaging them with a patience I genuinely had not expected from anyone. A moan left my mouth before I could stop it and I decided right then and there to stop trying to stop anything at all. He kissed his way back up to my lips and I wrapped my arms around him the moment his touched me. I could not get enough of him. The kiss deepened and somewhere in the middle of it my bra had disappeared entirely and I genuinely did not notice until it was already long gone.
When we finally broke apart I was breathless and slightly disoriented. I could see the desire in his eyes and the desire elsewhere, which I will just say was very visible and very, very encouraging.
I stood there in nothing but my panties and pumps while he stood back and looked at me like I was something genuinely worth memorizing. How he saw things in me that I could not see in myself I will never fully understand. I may stop trying.
"Exquisite," he said quietly. "Just exquisite."
Those two words alone had my panties damp and my knees slightly unreliable. He reached for both my breasts and took one into his mouth, sucking until my nipple hardened completely, then moved to the other with equal attention. I pushed myself against him wanting more of whatever this particular thing was. When he came up I lifted his shirt and kissed his chest.
Now. For his age his body had absolutely no business looking the way it did. Tight muscles. Deep cuts along his hips. Every single inch of him looked like someone half his age had been religiously maintaining it. I took a deep breath and licked his nipple. I felt his sharp intake of breath immediately. I rotated slowly between the two, watching his reaction, feeling his hands move through my hair as his breathing went uneven and ragged.
I was doing that to him. Me. And knowing that made me wetter than anything else that had happened so far in this entire evening.
His eyes went hooded and that was it for me completely. Tonight was going to be a two way street. I was done being frightened. It was time to be a woman. A real one. The kind I had been quietly becoming for weeks without fully realizing it was happening.
He kissed me again, sucking gently on my bottom lip, and walked me back to the bed. He laid me down carefully and kissed a trail from my lips all the way to my navel. One deliberate swoop of his tongue, a careful puff of cool air, and I was gripping the sheets with both hands as my body arched completely without my permission or input. He eased my panties off slowly, kissed his way further down and then dove between my legs with the focused energy of a man who had been genuinely looking forward to this specific moment all evening.
I want you to know this man’s tongue was not playing around in any capacity. He used his nose against my pearl, his tongue at my opening and his fingers to spread me wide and all I could do was lie there with my eyes rolling back in my head while my body tried to determine what dimension it had entered and whether it was coming back.
"Come for me honey," he said, barely pausing.
My body did not need to be asked twice. My legs wrapped around his neck to keep him exactly where he was as the sensation built from my toes upward through every single part of me until I had absolutely no control left over any of it.
"Robert, please don’t stop, right there, yes, yes, yes," and then my body released in hard ripples and the sound that came out of my mouth was one I did not recognize as belonging to me. He continued like he intended to collect every last drop and was in no particular hurry about it.
"Damn, you taste so good," he said finally. "I don’t know if I can ever get enough of you."
Before he could wipe his mouth I was already on his lips. I could taste myself on him and it sent me somewhere entirely new, somewhere I had not been before. The chocolate and the wine and whatever that particular combination was doing to my senses had me completely and happily out of my mind.
He stepped back and looked at me from the foot of the bed. Fully naked. Thoroughly undone. And he looked at me like I was something precious and rare, like a treasure someone had carelessly left unguarded and he could not quite believe his own luck in finding me here.
I could feel the arousal building all over again just from the way his eyes moved over me. The longer he looked the more I wanted him to stop looking and start everything else.
He bent over me, holding his weight on his elbows, and ran his fingertips slowly and deliberately up and down my thighs. I released a soft involuntary moan and he smiled.
He already knew the answer to the question he had not yet asked. He just wanted to hear it come out of my mouth.
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