Chapter 451: Chapter 451 - Cherished Memories(Part 4)
"Are you going to be alright, man? I know you’ve had a pretty rough time of things lately, I-...," I began.
"The last thing you need to do right now is worry about me. I’ll be fine...well, not right away, but still. This does really suck, though...I can’t believe I’m losing you too," Sighed Ilex in response.
"Yeah...I wish I had more time. But I suppose I can’t really complain...bittersweet as it may be, being given the chance to get to say goodbye like this is a privilege that most people don’t get. So, I guess I should be grateful that I at least get to do this much," I replied with a wistful smile.
"In a way, this is almost worse...we may get to say goodbye to you, but seeing and speaking to you while knowing that you’ll soon be gone for good, and that we can’t do anything to stop it, it...it hurts. Especially after all that you’ve done for me," He muttered as he averted his gaze.
"Oh, not you too...everyone keeps going on and on about how much I’ve done for them, but I really don’t see it that way. I’m not that selfless, pretty much everything I’ve done has benefitted me in some way or another," I pointed out sheepishly.
"So, what? It doesn’t change the fact that you’ve helped so many of us and changed our lives for the better. I’m certain that I’d be much worse off if I’d never met you. I mean, you know how much social anxiety I have, I still do but it used to be so much worse. It’s thanks to you that I’ve been able to improve in that regard...I’m still pretty awkward around people, but I can at least hold a conversation without mentally imploding," He smiled gratefully.
"Hey, don’t sell yourself short...I hung out with you because I wanted to. You were one of the first people to treat me normally after finding out that I possess both Attributes, you even stuck your neck out for me. You earned my respect when you did that, and I decided that you were the kind of person that I wanted around me. Seriously, man, you’re way too good for this world," I grinned as I patted his shoulder.
"U-uh, I don’t know about all that. I think you’re overestimating me...I’m as weak-willed as they come, I’d almost definitely be all alone if it wasn’t for you, too scared to reach out to anyone. Any improvements I’ve made are all thanks to you," He shook his head awkwardly.
"Oh, I definitely disagree with that. Maybe I gave you the push to take the first step, but everything since then has been all you. People can’t be forced to change, you know. If you really were too weak to change as you have, then nothing I did would’ve changed that.
I’ve never thought you were weak...a truly weak person wouldn’t be capable of changing in the first place, it’s not something that comes easy, change is a daunting task. Going off that, you’re strong as hell, if anything.
I bet that most people in your situation wouldn’t have had the courage to take that first step, regardless of whether they got the push or not. But you pulled it off, and there aren’t many people who’ll understand just how difficult that must have been. That includes me, and it’s part of the reason why I respect you so much...you’re strong, Ilex, stronger than most."
"C-come on, that’s way too much of an exaggeration."
"I really don’t think that it is. Back when we first met, despite your socially awkward, non-confrontational nature, you still risked your life standing up for me. Believe me when I say that you are one of the people I respect the most in this world...no, scratch that, one of the people I respect the most, period. Yeah, now that I think about it, I didn’t have anyone around me in my past life that I respected at all," I realized as I thought back to my previous life.
"R-really? I...I never considered myself to be someone worthy of respect, especially not to that extent, so it’s kinda hard to wrap my head around it."
"Honestly, I probably would’ve been too embarrassed to admit all this to you under normal circumstances. But, I’m glad I did...based on your reactions, I think you needed to hear all this. And be sure to take it all to heart. Don’t you dare ever doubt anything I’ve said to you here, because every single word I’ve spoken, I believe with absolute confidence," I informed him.
"I-I know, I can tell that you aren’t just saying all this for the sake of it...but still, I don’t know. Truth be told, I don’t really have the best opinion of myself, I never have. So, to hear you say all this, it makes me really happy...but reversing the way I feel about myself, well, that’s going to be a lot easier said than done."
"You really need to have more confidence in yourself. You’re a real solid dude, you’re sincere, trustworthy and loyal, that’s about as good as it gets, there aren’t many people in any world who’d measure up to you in that regard," I stated, before adding wryly, "And as a bonus, you’re also crazy powerful, so I know that Arcadia is in good hands."
"I-...wow. I don’t know what to say...but, at the very least, I’ll do my best to live up to your expectations, Larrk. And...thank you, for everything."
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