Chapter 13: [Chapter 013] Why is this happening here?
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"Madam?"
"Madam! Your appearance..."
"Oh, my lady!"
"Count!"
I shut the bedroom door. Having encountered Count Acacia, I urged the coachman to hurry back to the mansion. All the way back from the palace, I couldn't stop crying.
"Madam! Madam, what's wrong?"
"Are you ill?"
The sound of knocking and worried voices filtered through the door. I buried my face in the pillow and plugged my ears. I didn't want to hear anyone, and I didn't want to tell anyone how I felt. I hated Noah so much. As much as I had loved and relied on him.
"Do you know how painful it is to see someone you love suffering?"
Those words ripped my heart to shreds. Noah had never said a single unkind word in front of me. He would simply say, "It's okay, you're beautiful, don't worry about anything" whenever he saw me struggling.
"Tell me."
He must have been struggling too, seeing me like that. He must have been tired too. If he had been honest with me, even if it had hurt me a little, I would have tried harder to smile for him.
"You can be as spoiled as you want, Adriene."
"You're my wife. Your pain is my pain too. So don't hide it."
This 𝓬ontent is taken from freeweɓnovel.cѳm.
He had said those sweet words. Even on those rare days we saw each other every few months.
"Was that sincere, Noah?"
So that's why you were tired, and that's why you met that woman instead of me? You wanted to be with her while whispering that you loved Adriene? Did you want to kiss her so much that you couldn't wait even 100 days after my funeral? As tears soaked my pillow, I eventually stopped crying altogether. What did he mean by his "perfect" wife? Did he mean I should live in the grand duke's mansion?
"Am I supposed to become Blier Acacia and live in the grand duke's mansion like a shadow?"
Noah, with his personality, would never make his mistress, a commoner like Blier, the next grand duchess.
"How can this be so miserable?"
What if Blier lived as Noah's mistress, as they had agreed, and quietly lived in the grand duke's mansion or nearby?
"Then what about me?"
Adriene, not Blier? Could I, Adriene, live like that? I would no longer be the daughter of Pireta or Noah's wife. I would have to hide and live without revealing my true identity to anyone. As I imagined such a life, my chest felt tight and tears streamed down my face even though I was perfectly healthy. I would probably live a miserable life forever. Even if I received his love as his mistress, it wouldn't be me. And if he told me that he loved not Blier but the dead Adriene, I would still be hurt.
"Why are you embracing this woman, Noah, when you say you love me?"
I would probably end my life tormented by such thoughts forever. I would resent and envy the new grand duchess that he would choose as the future empress for his son, the crown prince Bardeinal. The mere thought took my breath away. Oh, God, why are you playing such a trick on me? That's all I could think. You give everyone else healthy bodies and companions, but why don't you give me either?
I couldn't think of any solution. Count Acacia, who had become my husband, seemed to want me to leave this mansion as soon as possible to become Noah's "official" mistress. The maids also seemed to be waiting for Noah's contact, hoping they could move to the grand duke's mansion as well, where there would be no mistress.
As my tears subsided and despair filled my mind, I suddenly remembered Roardness's face.
"Let me ask you again. Do you need help?"
He had spoken as if he knew everything about my situation. He seemed to know the real me.
"How can I trust a stranger when I've been betrayed by Noah, whom I trusted for years?"
I remembered his strange and beautiful face, a man who seemed to know me.
"What kind of help can you offer?"
"What do you want?"
What did I want? It was a ridiculous question. My physical body was dying, and I wanted to kill the mistress inside me. Noah...
"Do you mean you want me to help you escape this miserable situation?"
I clearly remembered his cold gaze, a mixture of contempt and surprise. He had approached me offering help, yet his eyes held a strange light. As I looked at him, the alcohol made my head spin.
"If you ask me for help again..."
"...you'll have to tell me exactly what kind of help you need."
What do I trust you for? Who are you? And...
"What will I have to give you in return for your help?"
I couldn't ask the question I had in my mind. As I was pondering, a commotion erupted. Count Acacia, pale as death, called out to me, and Roardness's strange gaze swept over me. From a distance, Neil handed me my shawl that I had dropped in the hall, and he faced Count Acacia. And then... the image in my mind cut off.
***
When I opened my eyes, I was lying neatly in bed, dressed in a nightgown. I had only had one glass of champagne at the party, but my head was pounding. It felt like it was about to split open. As I tried to sit up, Yona rushed in with a basin of water.
"Madam! Are you alright?"
She looked at me with teary eyes and forced me back down onto the bed. It was a very rude gesture for a noblewoman, but I didn't have the strength to protest.
"You drank way too much, Madam!"
Maji, along with a few other maids, stood outside the door, looking at me with concern. From their murmurs and Yona's words, I realized they thought I had been drunk last night. Yona gently washed my face with a wet cloth. Looking in the mirror, I saw that my hair was a little disheveled, but my makeup was perfectly intact. Yona must have cleaned it up while I was asleep.
"What about today's newspaper?"
Maji immediately handed me the day's newspapers and gossip magazines. As Yona brushed my hair, I skimmed through the articles, but nothing made sense. I realized that it was time to think about how I should live my life, putting aside the dreamlike events of yesterday.
"I have to get away from Noah."
I need a divorce. I have to get out of this mansion, Noah's mansion. Even if I don't move into his mansion, I can't live here as Countess Acacia anymore.
"Let's start with the divorce."
Since Noah forced this marriage upon me, I must have received a substantial dowry. If we agree to a divorce, I can officially receive alimony. Grasping my aching head, I headed to Blier's study, which was connected to the living room. It felt more like a cluttered warehouse than a place for work, but I started scanning the thick books that were placed on the giant bookshelf for decoration. And there, as if taunting me, was a book titled, A Guidebook for Divorcing Noblewomen. I pulled it out, and... thud. Another book, painted a hideous pink, fell out from within the thick guidebook.
"Oh, I didn't see anything!"
"...?"
When I picked up the object that had fallen to the floor, Yona covered her eyes with her hands and shouted. At the same time, Maji jumped up and down with her mouth wide open.
"I was so curious where you hid your diary, Madam! To think you hid it in such a place!"
"Diary?"
"You said you wrote it in some weird foreign language so no one could read it, but... to hide it in your study, of all places! You're so strange."
As Maji muttered to herself, I felt as if my throbbing headache had suddenly stopped.
"Diary!"
Blier Acacia's diary! To think I would have the former mistress's diary in my hands! It was good news for me, who had felt so frustrated even though I knew the truth. With trembling excitement, I carefully opened the hideous pink diary. But... this...
"Why is this here?"
My head, which had just stopped aching, started spinning again like a top. Damn Blier Acacia had written everything in Elacon, the language she used to hide her diary from anyone who might find it.
"This... why..."
It was Elacon, the language I hated the most in the world, the one I always failed in at the academy!
***
"They were all slaughtered, their necks severed by someone's sword. Covered in their hideous blood, Roardness was gulping down wine from a bottle at the prison entrance."
"Where have you been?"
"..."
"Your Highness."
"Get lost."
Neil sighed and held out a damp cloth. It was a clear sign for Roardness to wipe the blood off. But Roardness ignored him and continued drinking. He looked just like the first time Neil had met him, completely insane, a far cry from his usually subtle madness. It was the same face he had two years ago, when his sanity seemed to have snapped.
"Damn bastard..."
"I was trying to help you clean up, but I guess I deserve that..."
"The bodies?"
"..."
Neil realized that this beautiful and dangerous beast was reacting strongly to anything related to the Duchess of Trovika. The first time they met, two years ago, it was when the marriage of the Duke and Duchess of Trovika was the talk of the empire. While everyone celebrated the union, this madman had been drinking himself into oblivion and shedding blood.
"Come back when you have something new."
"The bodies are still in the grand duke's mansion. No one has seen them."
"..."
"And at the Count of Acacia's mansion..."
Clang! The bottle shattered, wine spilling across the floor like spilled blood. Neil swallowed hard as he watched the wine pool on the floor. The playful, almost flirtatious man from that night was nowhere to be found. Only Roardness, the mad dog as his subordinates called him, remained. His dark eyes, gleaming in the night, were more terrifying than any monster.
It was clear who Roardness wanted to kill: the Grand Duke Noah Trovika. Satisfied that his target was not himself, Neil handed him a piece of paper with a sigh of relief. It was an advertisement for an Elacon tutor. Roardness's red eyes widened, then softened, like hazelnuts. Neil's arm prickled with goosebumps at the sudden change.
"Send in your resume."
"What? But I don't know any Elacon..."
"Are you joking?"
Neil wanted to shout, 'Are you serious, Your Highness?' but he swallowed the words. He cautiously opened his mouth.
"...Are you really going to..."
Roardness opened a new bottle of wine and took a swig. It was a clear sign to leave. As Neil turned to go, he glanced back at Roardness. The man was drinking and laughing at the same time, a twisted expression on his face.
'He's crazy.'
And yet, every time Roardness tilted his head back to drink, Neil couldn't help but notice something else.
'Why does he cry so much?'
Neil had seen Roardness cry several times, and it was a sight as strange and incongruous as ice and fire.
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