"Hai."
Hai turned halfway, just enough to gaze at the other side. It was dark. Pitch-black wherever he turned to look at. Within that never-ending stretch of darkness, a voice ricocheted against the seemingly invisible walls.
"Do you think you are happy, Hai?"
Hai watched a silhouette, a faint outline of a man's figure taking shape - the only presence that seemed to cast a dim light, eerie as it might be.
"Do you think you will be happy?"
Vacant and lifeless, Hai stared at the figure before him in a silence that felt deafening more than anything else. Neither the corner of his lips moved by a fraction, nor the contours of his cheeks formed any expression.
"You cannot answer that, Hai. Because I know. You will never be happy. Do you think…you have escaped from me?"
The figure walked towards Hai, slow and steady but every step that echoed off the floor, quickened Hai's heartbeat a notch faster. When he stood barely inches away from Hai, the endless stretch of dark space seemingly shrank between them.
"Hai."
His shallow breaths stopped in his throat somewhere.
"My dearest brother, Hai. You are foolish. We always have had…"
The man cloaked in black raised his hand and held his cheek.
"..such a close relationship."
The low whisper of his voice forced Hai to swallow his own saliva just a tiny bit.
"I always adored you so much. We used to have so much fun. But I wonder why you began to hate me. I was a good brother to you."
His black-veiled fingers tapped on his cheeks, soft and slow.
"It hurt me to see you betray me. But Hai. My dearest brother, my most adorable brother Hai."
Hai watched a smile bloom on his lips, revealing his white teeth that slammed his heart within its ribcage. His fingertips flicked his hair strands as if stroking a baby's head.
"Where do you see yourself free?"
With each breath that tightened around his throat as if his own breaths strangled him, Hai lowered his gaze - only to find his hands and feet confined within thick, gritty shackles.
"You are not free, Hai."
His pulse spiked.
"Death doesn't mean freedom. Death doesn't give freedom."
A drop of sweat merged with his brow.
"Because my name will always stay with you."
His vision blurred.
"You chose this name for your son because you loved me just as much as I loved you. My name is not your salvation, Hai. It's a name of your remorse and guilt."
The shadow's other hand reached out and held Hai's right cheek.
"So come with me, Hai."
Hai's lashes trembled.
"There is no light at the end of this tunnel. It's only us. Always. As it's supposed to be. There is no one waiting for you at the other side, Hai. It's only me who will love and cherish you. So come with me."
His fingers pressed upon his skin a little harder.
"Come with me to this side."
His fingers dug into his skin a little farther.
"Come with me, Hai. My dearest little brother…"
Then came his nails that pierced through his skin.
"Jinhai is a name you will never be able to escape from. These shackles will remain where they are and so…will you. Here. With me. Until the end of time."
—
Hai jerked with a visible shake, goosebumps making every last fine hair of his body stand straight. His hazy vision found the ceiling coated with red as always. His lips quivered and he wondered if he was breathing at all. It took him a while to realize someone was tugging his right shoulder.
His gaze drifted downwards to find a little boy standing before him. Was he five or six? He didn't know. He felt he didn't remember. But the child looked red to him, just like the ceiling. It was only when the boy held his hand that the red began to wash away. Just a little.
"Dad."
Hai watched the boy offer him a glass of water.
"Are you okay?"
He stared.
"You look thirsty."
He didn't move and so didn't the boy.
'Hai, my dearest little brother.'
His chest swelled.
'You are not free.'
His heart fell.
'Jinhai is a name…'
His hand lifted in the air as if an invisible force was pushing it up, gradually and unmistakably.
'you will never be able to…'
In a trance, his palm reached the boy's neck, his fingers then curling around it with a tight grip.
'...escape from.'
"Dad."
The voice of that boy stirred him and as the veil of stupor shattered like glass crashing down hard, Hai's grip loosened, and with a swift pull, his hand grabbed the back of his head, hugging the boy to his chest.
"I am sorry. I am sorry. I am…sorry…" he couldn't breathe. "Um, I…"
What was I doing…?
Hai's dry lips smacked against each other as his empty gaze remained fixed at the floor, trying to make sense of what had just happened. The realization of his own actions slipped the earth beneath his feet and he felt himself falling, somewhere dark, a place where one could only enter but never leave. Amidst the swirling confusion and panic, the color from his face rapidly fell.
Was I going to…
A pat on his shoulder broke his trance.
"Did you have a bad dream, Dad?"
His lips parted, yet he couldn't form a response. The more his mind remained a blank void, the harsher the realization rained down upon him like someone pelting stones at him.
"Please don't…tell Chunhua."
He clutched his shirt's collar with a despair twisting around his heart like thorny vines that threatened to knock his world off balance - a world he had painstakingly built with his own hands. A happiness he had mounted upon the color of red.
She will hate me. She will hate me. She will hate me. I had promised her. I had promised her. I had…
"Tell Mom what?"
His daze snapped once again, and he peered into his son's black orbs which looked just like his.
"Huh…?"
The boy tilted his head slightly. "If it's about the croissants you ate all by yourself, then I will have to tell her."
He blinked rapidly.
"Clearly, she won't believe that I ate it all. It's better to come out clean. I don't want to kneel on a durian."
"...That's not…what I am talking about…"
Little Jinhai met his father's eyes. After several long moments of silence, he raised his hand and wiped off the faint mistiness from the corner of his eyes.
"So it's not about the croissants? Then there is nothing else I need to tell Mom."
