Chapter 53: The Pest Control Budget
"Kakuzu," Ren said, standing up from his heavy ironwood desk. "Cancel the afternoon meetings with the Capital’s merchant guild. We are returning to Konoha."
Kakuzu’s expensive ink pen stopped moving.
The towering missing-nin stared at Ren, his glowing green eyes narrowing into dangerous slits. "We have not stepped foot inside the Leaf Village in five years. We are currently pulling in staggering profits right here in the Fire Capital. Why are we halting our momentum for a maternity visit?"
"Because if I don’t go, a giant, glowing orange fox is going to step on our flagship cafe," Ren stated flatly.
Kakuzu blinked. "A fox."
"A very large, highly destructive one," Ren corrected, walking over to the window. "It has nine tails, a terrible attitude, and absolutely zero respect for commercial zoning laws."
Kakuzu didn’t ask questions about ancient lore, Tailed Beasts, or how Ren knew this. He was the Chief Financial Officer. He only cared about the physical assets. He immediately pulled open a fresh, blank ledger.
"Does the Leaf Village administration offer property insurance against giant foxes?" Kakuzu asked, his pen poised over the paper.
"No," Ren sighed heavily, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Which means I have to buy the insurance myself. From a private vendor."
"The premiums on a policy covering a natural disaster of that magnitude will be extortionate," Kakuzu warned.
"You have no idea," Ren muttered.
Ren turned his back on Kakuzu and focused his mind. The blue, semi-transparent interface of the Shinobi Tycoon System flared to life in his vision.
Ren hadn’t seriously touched the System shop for anything other than raw cosmetic materials in years. He had relied entirely on Kakuzu’s ruthless accounting and the Daimyo’s wife’s patronage to build their Fire Capital wealth. Through sheer, unadulterated capitalism, his points had been quietly compounding in the background.
[CURRENT BALANCE: 820,000 BC]
He was a system millionaire.
He opened the Tier 4 catalog. The screen instantly populated with items that could turn him into a living god.
[Rinnegan (Transplant Ready) - Cost: 5,000,000,000 BC][Wood Release (Cellular Integration) - Cost: 800,000,000 BC][Susanoo (Perfect Stage Construct) - Cost: 2,500,000,000 BC]
Ren completely ignored them.
He scrolled past the apocalyptic combat powers without a second glance. Buying god-tier abilities violated his core rule: Never buy power you cannot afford to maintain. If he bought Wood Release, Danzo would immediately kidnap him for experimentation. If he whipped out a Perfect Susanoo, the entire village would panic.
He wasn’t looking to fight the Nine-Tails in a glorious, anime-style deathmatch. He just wanted to keep the stupid fox away from his property lines.
Ren navigated away from the Combat & Bloodlines tab and opened Infrastructure Defense.
"Let’s see what pest control costs these days," Ren muttered, scrolling through the high-end warding items.
He found exactly what he was looking for.
[Item: Uzumaki-Grade Adamantine Sealing Chains (One-Time Use Talisman)]Description: Instantly manifests physical chakra chains capable of binding and suppressing massive, Bijuu-level entities for 60 seconds.Cost: 50,000 BC[Item: Kage-Level Chakra Suppression Tags (Bundle of 10)]Description: Drains and neutralizes hostile, high-density chakra signatures upon contact. Highly effective against Tailed Beast cloaks.Cost: 25,000 BC[Item: Lesser Four Red Yang Formation Anchors (Set of 4)]Description: Portable, self-sustaining barrier spikes. Creates an indestructible red barrier. Requires zero active chakra maintenance.Cost: 120,000 BC
Ren stared at the prices. A sharp, physical pain blossomed in his chest.
"This is outright extortion," Ren groaned aloud, his finger hovering over the purchase button. "One hundred and ninety-five thousand points just to stop a giant dog from knocking over my coffee shop."
Kakuzu looked up from his ledger. "Did you find an insurance provider?"
"Yes," Ren scowled. "And the deductible is ruining my day."
Ren hit purchase.
[195,000 BC DEDUCTED.] [TRANSACTION COMPLETE.]
The glowing blue numbers plummeted, draining away a massive chunk of his hard-earned profits. A split second later, a sleek, heavily reinforced black briefcase materialized directly onto his ironwood desk with a heavy thud.
Ren walked over and popped the latches. Inside, resting on high-density foam, were four sleek, black iron spikes inscribed with glowing red runes, a thick stack of aggressively powerful suppression tags, and a single, heavy golden talisman wrapped in silk.
It was enough anti-Bijuu hardware to make the Hokage weep with envy, and Ren had bought it like he was stocking up on roach spray.
The heavy oak door to the office suddenly swung open.
Pakura walked in, her sand-gold guard kimono perfectly crisp. She took one look at the open briefcase, sensing the dense, terrifying sealing chakra radiating from the items inside, and raised an eyebrow.
"Expecting a siege?" Pakura asked, crossing her arms.
"We are taking a trip to Konoha," Ren announced, snapping the briefcase shut and locking the combination dials. "We leave at dawn. Prepare the convoy."
Pakura’s posture shifted into professional mode. "Understood. How heavy do you want the security detail for the road? The usual twenty men?"
"No," Ren said smoothly, adjusting the cuffs of his charcoal haori. "Bring the gilded carriages. Bring fifty of our heaviest route inspectors, in full uniform. And pack a hundred crates of premium inventory. If we’re going back, we might as well resupply Tsunade’s hospital and check on our local margins while we’re there."
Kakuzu slammed his ledger shut, already mentally calculating the sheer financial drain. "That is an absurd amount of overhead for a simple family visit. The travel expenses and the logistics of moving fifty guards and a hundred crates are entirely unjustifiable."
Ren smiled. It wasn’t the warm, polite smile he gave his customers. It was the ruthless, arrogant grin of a tycoon who finally had the upper hand.
"It’s not overhead, Kakuzu. It’s a statement," Ren said, picking up the briefcase. "My father exiled me to a dusty teahouse six years ago and assumed I’d spend the rest of my life quietly sweeping floors. When I drive through those gates, I want the Uchiha patriarch to look at my convoy and realize his ’disgrace’ of a son is worth more than his entire police force."
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