Chapter 11: The Square Penalty and the Sweeping Strike
[Objective: Sweep Kaelen’s legs out from under him and violently slap his face with your wooden broom while explicitly telling him to fuck off.]
[Reward: +10 Agility, Skill ’Basic Close Quarters Combat’, 60 Shameless Points.]
[Failure Penalty: The Host’s testicles will permanently transfigure into perfect geometric squares rendering all future intimate encounters highly confusing and aerodynamically painful.]
Leon stared at the glowing pink text hovering in the air and felt a profound sense of exhaustion wash over his soul.
The system was utterly relentless in its pursuit of turning his life into a highly dangerous circus act and the threat of geometric castration was genuinely terrifying enough to make him reconsider his entire existence.
He took a deep breath to steady his violently racing heart and mentally accepted the unhinged task because failing was simply not an option in a world where power dictated every single aspect of reality.
Kaelen was completely oblivious to the digital screen hovering right next to his head as he continued his arrogant march toward the massive stone ovens.
The heavily armored guard leaned his elbow against the preparation table and completely ignored the strict hygiene rules of the kitchen while flashing Elara a sickeningly confident smile.
"You are looking exceptionally beautiful this morning Elara," Kaelen purred in a tone that made Leon physically nauseous.
"It is a genuine tragedy that a woman of your incredible talents is stuck cooking for snobby nobles when you could be spending your evenings in the guard barracks with a real man who knows how to treat you properly."
Elara gripped her heavy iron meat cleaver so tightly that her knuckles turned completely white under the strain.
Her Lie Detector aura flared with a volatile mixture of utter disgust and restrained fury because she despised the sleazy guard with every fiber of her being.
However she was still just a commoner employed by the estate and directly striking an official member of the noble family’s military force would result in severe disciplinary action or even imprisonment.
She forced a highly strained and completely fake smile onto her stunning face while carefully stepping back to put some distance between her generous curves and his wandering eyes.
"I am incredibly busy preparing Lady Seraphina’s morning meal Kaelen," Elara replied through gritted teeth while aggressively chopping a large carrot perfectly in half. "I would heavily advise you to return to your patrol route before the Head Maid catches you loitering in my kitchen again."
Kaelen merely laughed and aggressively reached out to grab a freshly baked pastry right off her clean cutting board.
He took a massive bite and let the crumbs fall entirely onto the pristine floor that Leon had just finished sweeping.
"Beatrice is currently attending to the estate ledgers in the upper wing so we have plenty of time to get properly acquainted," Kaelen insisted while taking another bold step forward and completely invading her personal space.
He reached out with his greasy gauntlet to brazenly tuck a stray strand of dark hair behind Elara’s ear.
Leon decided he had seen more than enough.
He channeled his twenty five points of raw Strength directly into his legs and closed the distance across the kitchen with a sudden burst of explosive speed that completely defied his scrawny appearance.
His Minor Mana Concealment skill passively hid the surging magical energy circulating through his veins so Kaelen did not even register his approach until it was entirely too late.
Leon practically glided across the smooth stone tiles and swung his right leg out in a viciously low sweeping arc that perfectly hooked around the back of Kaelen’s heavy iron boots.
The arrogant guard was entirely focused on staring at Elara’s massive chest and completely failed to brace his stance against the sudden impact.
The sheer kinetic force of Leon’s enhanced muscles easily overwhelmed the heavy armor and sent Kaelen violently crashing backward onto the hard cobblestone floor with an incredibly loud and highly satisfying metallic clatter.
The entire kitchen went completely dead silent watching in absolute horror.
Kaelen laid on his back for two agonizing seconds while his brain desperately tried to process how he had suddenly ended up staring at the ceiling. He let out a loud groan and furiously scrambled to sit up while heavily gripping his bruised tailbone.
"What in the absolute name of the Goddess do you think you are doing you miserable little rat?!" Kaelen roared at the top of his lungs while reaching down to unsheathe the heavy steel broadsword resting on his hip.
He never even got the chance to fully draw his weapon.
Leon fluidly spun his wooden broom around in his hands like a master martial artist and brought the flat bristle head heavily down across Kaelen’s cheek in a devastatingly accurate backhand strike.
The loud crack of the hard wood connecting with the guard’s face echoed across the cavernous room like a thunderclap and completely shattered the suffocating tension in the air.
A bright red rectangular welt instantly blossomed across Kaelen’s pale cheek while a small trickle of blood began to leak from his split lip. The arrogant guard was completely paralyzed by the sheer humiliating shock of being physically assaulted by the lowest ranking servant in the entire estate.
Leon calmly rested the wooden handle of his broom against his shoulder and looked down at the pathetic guard with his passive Piercing Gaze blazing with newfound authority.
He then slowly shifted his magnetic stare over to Elara who was currently watching him with her amber eyes blown incredibly wide and her full lips parted in pure astonishment.
"You are making a massive mess in my workspace Kaelen," Leon stated in a remarkably smooth and chillingly calm voice that commanded the attention of everyone in the room. "And you are also bothering the Head Cook who clearly wants nothing to do with you, so I suggest you fuck off before I decide to sweep you out with the rest of the garbage."
[DING!]
[Quest Completed Successfully!]
[Your anatomical geometry remains perfectly spherical and functional.]
[Distributing Rewards: +10 Agility, Skill ’Basic Close Quarters Combat’ Acquired, 60 Shameless Points.]
A sudden wave of intense heat flooded directly into Leon’s brain as decades of foundational martial arts knowledge violently downloaded itself into his nervous system.
He instinctively understood how to perfectly shift his body weight and how to identify the critical weak points in a heavily armored opponent. His newly enhanced Agility stat instantly made him feel lighter than air and completely primed his reflexes for the deadly retaliation he knew was coming.
Kaelen let out a guttural scream of pure murderous rage and aggressively yanked his steel broadsword completely out of its leather scabbard.
A faint aura of pale blue energy suddenly ignited along the sharp edge of the blade as the furious guard channeled his novice magical power to completely obliterate the insolent servant who had just publicly humiliated him.
Things were about to escalate into a highly lethal confrontation and Leon tightened his grip on his simple wooden broom as he prepared to fight for his life.
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