Varen folded his shoulders as if curling up.
My body, trapped in his arms, got squashed along with him.
Even as I felt stifled and short of breath, what he’d said scrambled my head.
He raises hell over another male’s scent on me, and now he says just stay by his side.
More than anything, aside from the misunderstanding at the facility, I don’t think I’ve ever made Varen anxious. Why is he so scared I’ll leave.
This wasn’t ordinary separation anxiety. He was acting like a puppy with abandonment in its past.
The pot-lid hands around my waist trembled faintly. I overlapped my hand on them and patted lightly.
“Why are you being so sentimental. Even if I don’t say it, I’m not leaving, so don’t worry.”
“......”
“Well, honestly, love... that’s a bit startling. But it’s not a reason for me to leave you.”
I twisted my upper body to face him.
At the sight of brows completely drooped and blue eyes shining with wet, my left chest ached.
If nothing else, his eyes were exactly the same as when he was a dragon. I could probably recognize Varen by those eyes alone, no matter how many times I was reborn.
I held his gaze quietly and let out a short sigh. I didn’t want to see door-sized shoulders sagging.
I wanted to grab someone by the collar and demand who’d crushed my kid’s spirit—but since that someone would be my own collar, I held back.
“Hey, square those shoulders. Why are you so cowed. Hm?”
“I’m afraid you’ll leave me...”
“I said I won’t, didn’t I? I honestly don’t understand why you’re this nervous.”
“......”
“I’ll promise. If a promise isn’t enough, I’ll swear to that sun too. Is that good now?”
I worked hard to soothe him because I hated that sulky face, but Varen’s expression didn’t change.
Even so, his arms around my waist were tightening bit by bit as if his mood was lifting.
At the transparent reaction, a helpless laugh escaped me. I patted the back of his hand once more and smiled at him.
“Varen, to be honest, I don’t feel the same way you do.”
“...Then what do you feel?”
When he was in pain, it all felt like my fault; when he slept peacefully, my heart was satisfied.
I wanted nothing from him; I ❀ Nоvеlігht ❀ (Don’t copy, read here) just wanted him healthy and happy.
If I had to compare it, it was closest to what I felt for my first dog Berry, my companion for eighteen years.
Though with Varen I’ve traded tongues and even got mounted.
“I feel like you’re family.”
I pressed down the guilt and put as much gentleness into it as I could.
It might be that Varen’s feelings for me, and his seeing me as a mating partner, were simply because he hadn’t met other dragons yet.
If he went home, met a lovely female dragon, and found a true mate, his feelings for me would fade.
“Varen, it’s not the same as your feelings, but I care for you plenty. I want you healthy and happy, and I’ll do anything it takes for that.”
“......”
“I told you, you feel like family. So at the very least, I won’t leave you by my own will.”
“So that means you could leave for some other reason.”
He immediately put on an anxious face. I let out a dry chuckle at that.
Parting from my parents and from Berry hadn’t been my will. It was the will of the sky.
In my previous world, family left me first, but dragons are spiritual beasts who enjoy their full span.
“I’ll die before you do. That’s what I meant.”
“...Ah...”
Only then did Varen let out a low sigh as if reassured. He even nodded slowly.
The eyes that had been anxious all along slowly filled with light.
“I see. So your feeling is different from mine.”
Hm? Then why does his voice sound different?
In Varen’s eyes, the light not only filled—it flashed too bright, and my instincts fired a warning.
“...Y-yeah, that’s what I said. Don’t make me repeat myself.”
When I awkwardly turned my head forward, Varen quietly bent his waist. Then he pressed his nose straight to the nape of my neck.
Even up to here, it was plenty of an embarrassing development.
“Until death parts us, you won’t leave me?”
Words—ah and uh make all the difference.
It was similar to what I’d said, but the nuance was off.
“Ceryl, you’re really strange. You throw me into confusion.”
“When did I?”
“You push me away and then you hold me. You say your feeling is different from mine, and you’re hoping for a much farther future.”
“What future?”
“And swearing to the sun, on top of it. You really are...”
What in the world is he talking about.
A flood of the sense that something had gone very, very wrong washed over me.
“Wait, Varen. I think you misunderstood something...”
“So you already feel me as your mate. I haven’t even proposed yet.”
Maaate? Propooose??
I had no clue where in my words the grounds for misunderstanding lay.
Beyond flustered—this was absurd. I didn’t know where to start correcting him.
Since Varen interprets everything the way he wants no matter what I say, I chose my words carefully instead of opening my mouth rashly.
But the moment he buried his nose in my nape and drew in a deep breath, my body jolted.
“Hey—hey! What are you doing all of a sudden!”
“Hoo... now you smell like me.”
“That’s because I’m wearing your clothes... ugh, it tickles! Stop sniffing!”
He can scent just fine without snuffling like a dog.
Varen pressed his nose into one spot after another along my nape and drew breath. It was obviously on purpose.
“Cut it out... I said it tickles. Why are you glued to me like this, you brat!”
“There’s still a faint trace of another male. If we find a stream, I’ll wash you.”
“Why would you be washing me.”
“It’s only natural to wash a tired mate.”
“What kind of bull...! Ugh, why are you so strong! Let go already!”
Varen kept talking with his face buried in my nape.
So every time he spoke, I felt hot breath and lips just barely grazing skin.
It tickled and raised gooseflesh. Maybe that’s why my toes kept curling.
In short, with a sensation I didn’t know what to do with, I kept twisting my body.
“Seriously... hey! I’m going to get mad, you know?”
“Why do you keep getting mad.”
“How could I not... ngh...”
The thin silk couldn’t hide anything. I felt Varen’s bare chest, shed a moment ago, against my back.
Dragon heat and a fast heartbeat felt like they were leaping into me.
I wanted out of this overwhelming situation.
But Varen easily pinned my squirming body and went on with what he wanted.
“Ceryl, you’re hurt.”
He whispered in a voice that tickled my eardrums.
Then something damp and soft—flesh—touched a sensitive spot without warning.
“Eek!”
I sucked a breath and made a strange sound before I knew it.
Unmoved by my reaction, frozen in shock, Varen began to mouth me like it was familiar work.
At the unfamiliar sensation of a tongue dragging sticky from below upward along my neck, my eyes swam.
“Who hurt my mate. I’ll find him and kill him.”
I had no idea when a mark had been left on my neck or who left it.
Maybe my head went blank from the wet, smacking sounds of saliva.
“I-I don’t know... so, ngh, don’t...”
I hunched my shoulders and bent my waist to avoid the tongue laving slickly up my neck.
But the more I curled up, the more surely I was trapped in Varen’s hold.
“Uugh, I said stop licking...”
“Ceryl, are there other places you’re hurt.”
“No, no. Really no. Please, let go of that and talk...!”
It wasn’t the first time Varen had licked me to heal me.
But every other time it had happened while I was unconscious, so I only knew the efficacy of the result, not the ordeal of the process.
His fortresslike arms wouldn’t budge no matter what, so I reached back and pushed at his forehead.
Instead of pulling back, Varen caught my hand and brought my palm to his lips.
“You say you’re not hurt, but you are. Here too. So many marks left.”
Trying to work the rooftop crossbows alone had skinned my palms raw. My wrists, bound behind my back twice, ached with pooling blood.
The dragon’s full treatment had begun, but some other sensation ruled me more than pain.
“Ugh, it tickles. I said it tickles!”
A crawling itch from my lower belly had me stomping in place.
I tried to make a fist so he couldn’t lick my palm, but with just one thumb, Varen pinned my hand so I couldn’t curl it.
“Hold still. Humans don’t self-repair.”
“This much is nothing. I can put ointment on it. So... stop licking, Varen.”
“Even if it tickles, bear it a moment. I’ll treat other places too.”
It felt like I was repeating the same mistake even knowing I couldn’t win by force.
I turned my head aside and met Varen’s eyes. At that face, full of enjoyment, a surge of anger rose.
He’s fine and I’m the only one huffing—embarrassing.
But I was the one at a disadvantage again, so all I could do was bite my lip and beg.
“Varen, stop. Please...”
“......”
Then Varen stopped what he was doing. Instead, he simply met my eyes.
Panting for breath, I watched his expression. I only wanted that mortifying treatment—licking my neck, fussing over my palms—to cease.
After a moment that looked like deliberation, Varen spoke.
“If it doesn’t tickle, will it do?”
“Huh?”
“Ceryl, you need treatment. Your whole body is covered in wounds and you’re completely exhausted. Your life force is depleted too.”
“That’s true. But your condition is worse than—”
“There isn’t a dragon in the world who would leave a hurt, injured mate be.”
