Home Monsters Wag Their Tails Only at Me Chapter 67
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I almost dry-heaved right in his face.

I swallowed down new spit and cleared my throat. Tilting my head, I studied Theo’s face.

Judging by his expression, he seemed sincere, but I still [N O V E L I G H T] couldn’t trust him.

Asking me to kidnap him here meant he wanted to leave this place.

No matter how bad the blood was, he was Jed’s brother, and if he was playing physician, he’d be treated well.

In a rough fantasy world, this level of position was honey. Why throw it away?

“Why do you want to leave?”

“I can’t say.”

“Starting the deal by keeping secrets?”

His stiffness made a snort break out of me.

So I tapped the annoying point of his chin with the flat of the short knife.

“I’m the one holding the handle. Don’t forget.”

Theo gulped down a dry swallow.

He seemed set to keep silent, but it didn’t last long before he spilled the truth.

“I’m conducting research I don’t want to do, under Jed’s orders.”

“What research.”

“...I can’t say more.”

Hundreds of fantasy novels I’d dragged around day and night in my teens flashed by.

In a world like this, if it’s research ordered by someone drunk on power—

“What, building an army?”

“D-Don’t tell me... you too...?”

You’re saying the same thing as everyone else.

Predictable, predictable. At this point I could read Theo’s character.

The brother of correct convictions to contrast the power-mad elder. That sort of thing.

“Where is Jed? In the tower?”

“Kh... that’s...”

“He’s not here, is he?”

“Hah—how did you....”

Jed often vacated his post at the Facility. The king summoned him a lot, and despite those librarian looks, he was unexpectedly a boots-on-the-ground type.

And he’d ordered the hunters to torture Kallen in front of me.

He’d think there was still time before my mind broke.

“You know an escape route—why haven’t you escaped alone?”

“Why should I tell—”

“You’re going to spill it anyway, so cut the stalling. You’re wasting my time.”

“...This one thing I can’t say.”

“Damn it, want me to guess? Someone else in your family is being held hostage, right? So you’re doing research you don’t want to because your brother said so.”

“......”

“If you run on your own feet, the hostage gets in danger, so you want to borrow someone else’s hand to escape. Right?”

There was a light thud; I turned my head.

Kallen had dropped the cloth bag she was holding and clapped a hand over her mouth.

Margon recoiled as if he’d seen a ghost, and Theo’s face went pale as he mouthed soundlessly.

“H-How... are you a mind reader?”

It’s a cliché, idiot.

“Kallen, tie this bastard’s hands and feet.”

My grip hand tingled from holding a short knife I wasn’t used to for so long.

At my words, Kallen took the strips she’d torn for a gag and started binding Theo’s wrists.

“Ugh—wait. I told you everything!”

“You didn’t say it. I guessed it.”

I handed the knife back to Margon and stood in front of Theo, who had sunk to the floor with his hands and feet bound.

“Where’s the safe escape route. Talk.”

“If I tell you, you’ll leave me behind.”

Tears glossed Theo’s eyes as he bit his lower lip.

His jaw muscles hardened—he was holding back the crying.

Now that I looked, he didn’t live up to his size either.

“The foundation of alchemy is equivalent exchange! If you want information from me, you have to grant my request!”

“For the record, I’m not an alchemist. But I’ll generously do equivalent exchange: the information you have for the life at the end of my hand. How’s that?”

“......”

“Hm. Bad bargain for me.”

Theo, who had been chattering questions non-stop, clamped his mouth when he saw we weren’t getting anywhere.

We didn’t have time for this. Irritation and impatience surged at once.

Just then, a soft hand lightly pinched my collar. Kallen, terrified.

“Um... Ceryl, if we take him with us...”

“No.”

“B-But... killing him is...”

Kallen’s face had gone white; she couldn’t string a sentence together.

She’d kept saying she was fine whenever I asked, but clearly the shock from upstairs hadn’t faded.

Ugh, fine. I couldn’t make a kid watch two murders in one day.

With a long sigh, I crouched down and met Theo eye to eye.

“I’m not so closed-minded I go around invoking guilt by association. But I’m not taking you.”

“Please take me. I won’t forget the favor.”

“Favor, my ass. I’ve never seen a black-haired beast repay grace.”

Well, his hair was gray.

At the unintended chill in my voice, Theo’s eyebrows twitched.

I rapped his necklace with my finger.

“You’re wearing this and asking to come with us? Are you shameless or brainless. Jed will chase us to hell and back—why would I strap a lump on and go?”

The pendant was a deep green, about the size of a cicada. Inside the gem, a slow swirl turned. You wouldn’t notice unless you looked.

Digging in my memory of the original, it looked like a gem under a tracking spell.

“I-I can just take it off.”

“You’re even wearing a collar. Can you prove there’s no tracking spell on you?”

Theo’s expression twisted in a dozen ways. With that face identical to Jed’s, it was grotesque.

“Taking you is going out with a tracker attached.”

When the bargaining failed, Theo bared his eyes and threw down the last card.

“But without me you won’t escape safely.”

Hmm, what to do.

If I half-break him, he’ll probably cough up the route. I wasn’t keen: torture would be a first for me.

As a hostage, he wouldn’t follow obediently.

Either way, the only method left was to turn him into a half-corpse...

“Hm? What’s that smell?”

What cut through my line of thought was a faint acrid scent spreading. It had been pooled heavy on the floor, and now that I’d crouched, I finally caught it.

The smell came from the herbs scattered on the floor.

Kallen hastily crouched and started gathering them.

“I’m sorry. It’s Armoreh leaf; the scent is harsh, right?”

“Give me that.”

When I held out my palm, Kallen heaped a handful of green leaves onto it.

They looked fresh and green, but even a light sniff stung with a spicy tang.

“...Kallen, got more like this?”

“Like what?”

“Anything. Strong, harsh, spicy-smelling.”

Kallen tilted her head but dug hard through her pack.

Theo, meanwhile, bulged his eyes and launched into a harangue.

“You can’t torture me with that! I’ll have you know this body is seasoned to herbs!”

“Aha, good torture material, then. Thanks.”

I tossed a short thanks to a decent idea.

Turning my back on the bewildered Theo, I dove into a proper herb survey with Kallen.

“This is a Kalber fruit—if you pan-fry it, it pops and gives off a hot smell.”

My precious encyclopedia coolly selected biochemical weapons for me.

While I was looking for other usable materials, my eye caught the box Theo had brought.

I opened a little jar rolling on the floor. The ointment inside was viscous and sticky.

“Please, Ceryl! If you don’t take me, I’ll scream!”

I looked back at tireless, yapping Theo.

Ah... if I could just—

He had a face that made you angry just by existing. Did I really need to leave trouble behind?

“Ceryl, this one’s a root that smells bitter. But it needs a hard boil.”

What tamped down the surge of murderous impulse was the pure voice of a girl.

Hoo... hold it, hold it. I’d told Varen to think once more before killing. I should set the example.

I ignored Theo and took a step—and a shard from the syringe crunched underfoot.

I stared at the liquid soaked into the floor, and recalled what Theo had just said.

“You said you’re conducting experiments. The drugs you’ve injected into Margon so far—are they really therapeutic? Are you sure?”

I shot the question; Theo flinched. Then, with a weary face, he spoke.

“I told you—what I gave Margon was therapeutic. And I’ve never experimented on a human.”

“...Then?”

“I’ve only experimented on monsters. The drugs are for monsters anyway.”

At those words, a chill lapped through the room.

Theo even shuddered, as if he suddenly felt the cold draft.

Kallen, who’d been listening quietly, tossed out a frosty line.

“Well, you’ve touched what you shouldn’t have.”

“What do you mean?”

Margon, who hadn’t caught on at all, asked Kallen with a vacant look.

As I stalked forward without masking my anger, Theo wriggled and scooted back.

“H-Hey! Why, why all of a sudden!”

“You piece of shit—how are you any different from Jed.”

What Jed had done at the Facility, Theo was doing in the tower.

I seized Theo’s hair again and raised my fist high. Right before I brought it down, I flicked a glance to check on Kallen.

She was gripping her pack with both hands, watching me.

“...Pay your debt to Kallen later. She’s the one who kept you alive.”

“W-What? Urk!”

I slammed my hand into the base of his skull instead of that smooth face, chopping the nape.

I brought the edge of my hand down on the same spot again and again.

“Ghk! Ugh! S-Stop!”

“Damn it, why won’t you pass out. In the movies, guys go out like a light if you hit them like this.”

“Aaagh! Aaaagh!!”

***

The tower’s first floor was a different world from the others. Less a place to lock up hostages than a tavern.

There were several two-seater wooden tables, and the Dragon Hunters sat in small knots, tipping back drinks.

Some were gambling with frayed cards, others threw darts at a target stuck on the wall.

And not a single one of them lacked a cigarette between their fingers.

The windows were open, but it was nowhere near enough to ventilate the smoke that filled the first floor.

“Damn, the booze hits the spot tonight! Times like this, wish we had a girl.”

“Come to think, is Lionel still having his fun?”

“You didn’t know? That guy’s famous for lasting.”

“Damn it, I drew the short straw. It’ll be a while before my turn.”

Get a bunch of men together and the dirty talk starts without fail. The racket made my ears hurt.

Thanks to that, the thump-thump of a sack rolling down the first-floor stairs went unheard.

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