I hesitated in front of Morpha’s room for a long while. I’d come all this way, but I hadn’t sorted out what I was supposed to say.
I raised my hand to knock, lowered it, then raised it again several times. Before I could decide, the door opened with a click.
Morpha greeted me through the narrow gap.
“Since it’s bothering you, you might as well come in.”
“...Excuse me.”
Their consideration only made me feel more awkward.
I stepped inside and looked around Morpha’s bedroom. It was only about half the size of Varen’s and mine, but the layout was similar. There was even a terrace in the same position as the one upstairs.
After opening the door and letting me in, Morpha sat down on a chair placed on the terrace. I approached hesitantly and took the chair across from them. The terrace floor looked like it might collapse at any moment, which made me uneasy.
And so we sat there in silence, staring out at the dark night sea. Only the steady sound of waves reached our ears.
After a long while, I finally steeled myself and spoke first.
“Morpha, I came to apologize.”
“......”
“I know you told me over and over not to act recklessly.... I’m sorry. I was wrong.”
Even in the face of my sincere apology, Morpha didn’t stir. They just kept their indifferent gaze fixed on the sea.
Their lack of response made me grow more and more restless. I even wondered if I should get down on my knees and beg.
“You don’t need to apologize.”
Just as I was about to fidget again, Morpha said it lightly, almost as if tossing the words aside. They still didn’t look at me, but the fact that they’d finally spoken eased my heart.
I picked at my fingertips and watched Morpha’s expression carefully. They said I didn’t need to apologize, but Varen’s deviation was clearly my fault.
I could have made excuses, saying I’d acted according to the situation at the time. But when I calmly retraced everything, I had no defense no matter how many mouths I imagined myself having.
I shouldn’t have left the position Morpha had arranged for me in the first place. When Noance spoke to me in the alley, I should have bolted immediately.
Beyond that, there were several chances to leave the black market with Varen. If I hadn’t been distracted by gathering information myself, we wouldn’t have been swept up in the Rebels’ relocation magic.
We hadn’t even been found out yet, but Varen had been left completely exposed during Noance’s attack.
In the end, we’d given the Rebels the worst possible first impression. Even if Morpha stepped in, negotiations would be difficult.
I knew how meticulously Morpha had planned everything since Belzena. Knowing that it had all gone to waste made guilt tighten around my throat.
“I really am the one who should apologize. This is all my fault....”
“No. It’s the Dravergh instinct. This isn’t your fault.”
It was the exact opposite of how harshly they’d berated Varen in the forest.
I stared at them with wide eyes, but Morpha kept their gaze fixed on the sea, continuing in a candid tone.
“Dravergh are extremely aggressive and irrational. Ordin was the unusual one, really. Because he could read the thoughts of others, he was always cautious.”
“Ah....”
“That’s why the Dravergh need our House.”
It was a story completely beyond my understanding, so instead of responding verbally, I just nodded.
Morpha shifted their posture slightly. They had the face of a boy, but their gaze was so deep that it carried the weight of long years.
“Our House is subordinate to the Dravergh. Because a negotiator must never betray a dragon.”
“Subordinate, as in...?”
“If we commit an act that betrays a dragon, our heart bursts immediately.”
The words made me think of blond hair, and I clenched my teeth.
What kind of world was this, where holding someone else’s life hostage seemed to happen so casually?
I felt a surge of anger with nowhere to go and could only clench my fists. That was when Morpha turned their eyes toward me.
Sensing their gaze, I turned my head. When our eyes met, they made a blunt, honest confession in a barren voice.
“Living with a responsibility you never wanted is like wearing shackles you can never take off until the day you die.”
“.......”
“That’s why I was angry at Varen. Because the ✪ Nоvеlіgһt ✪ (Official version) one who should bear the greatest responsibility wasn’t acting like it.”
The greatest responsibility Varen had to bear.
I recalled what Morpha had said in the forest. That all dragons rested on Varen’s shoulders.
Varen was meant to succeed Ordin and become the king of the Dravergh. And the dragon king had a duty to protect his kin and ensure the survival of the species.
My thoughts followed one after another, until I finally reached an answer. A bitter smile formed on my lips.
“So that’s why you’re telling me all this....”
“You’re quick to catch on.”
As if finally feeling relieved, Morpha leaned back comfortably against the chair.
“Everything Varen did today is acceptable. He didn’t burn down a city, and storming enemy territory isn’t a problem for a dragon.”
“.......”
“Being dragged somewhere I couldn’t find is also fine. He’s not someone who’d be easily overpowered by humans.”
Once again, their direct gaze settled on the side of my face. Feeling uncomfortable, I clasped my hands together and lowered my eyes.
Morpha continued speaking, unconcerned with my feelings.
“But someone who must bear responsibility for the entire species being swayed by a single human is unacceptable.”
“.......”
“The basis of negotiation is gaining what you want and giving something in return. But it seems Varen wants something else more than anything.”
I didn’t need to ask what that was. I already knew.
Without saying a word, I buried my face in my palms. When I closed my eyes, countless scenes flashed through my mind.
Varen trembling in fear, unable to move, clinging to me when I was taken hostage.
Varen flying straight toward me, looking only at me even as crossbow bolts rained down on him.
Varen suffering from high fever every time he healed me, coughing up blood and collapsing after giving me all his strength.
And Varen, who could have flown freely on his own, yet couldn’t leave because of me.
From the most recent memories to the oldest ones. Every moment Varen had been endangered because he was bound to me resurfaced.
After finishing what felt both like a long and a short journey through memories, I lifted my head.
“...What should I do, then.”
“Find the answer yourself. But I hope you think wisely.”
At Morpha’s pointed yet truthful response, a short laugh escaped me.
***
After searching every corner of the small kitchen on the inn’s first floor, I found a few bottles of cheap liquor. I took one of them and slipped outside alone while Kallen and Margon were asleep.
After walking a short distance, I reached the breakwater. I sat there and drank, using the night sea as my accompaniment.
The liquid in the bottle had too strong an alcohol scent to be wine, and too much fruitiness to be whiskey.
“Phew... Damn it, why am I not getting drunk.”
In my previous world, I’d had a low tolerance. Even a single can of beer was enough to make me pleasantly tipsy, which made it cost-effective in its own way.
But Ceryl’s body, which I’d newly acquired, must have had a good liver. Even pouring alcohol into myself on an empty stomach, I couldn’t get drunk.
I tipped the bottle upside down and drained the very last drop, but still failed to get intoxicated. It was just an unpleasant experience that left me feeling bloated.
I set the empty bottle beside me and ruffled my hair. I wanted to scream my lungs out from frustration, but with two sharp-eared dragons so close by, I couldn’t.
There was no way to release the accumulated stress. I simply flopped down on the breakwater and stared up at the night sky filled with stars.
“Hah... What do you expect me to do....”
Ever since I’d been dropped into this fantasy world without warning, I’d tried to establish my sense of identity. But now, all those worries felt pointless.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t belong to this world. In the end, I was nothing more than a foreign substance that helped no one.
Suddenly, an unbearable loneliness washed over me. It was a feeling I hadn’t experienced recently, living pressed so close to Varen.
And whenever I felt like I was truly alone in the world, I missed the presence I’d always sought out by habit.
“I miss Berry....”
I missed the furry companion who had always stayed by my side after my parents passed away.
Even now, it felt like I could sense that warm body heat when I wrapped my arms around him, and when I closed my eyes, it seemed like I could smell that comforting scent.
I raised one arm and covered my face. Hot tears slid down from the corners of my eyes.
“Hiyung... hiyung, hiyung....”
Just then, a familiar cry reached my ears. I quickly wiped my tears and turned my head to see Rami looking flustered.
“Hiyung... hiyuung....”
I had no idea where she’d gotten it, but she was holding a piece of hard candy in her small hand. Rami held it up to my mouth.
I burst out laughing at the adorable gesture. Through my parted lips, Rami pushed the candy right in. Strangely enough, the sweetness that spread through my mouth lightened my mood.
As I stroked Rami and ate the candy, something I wanted to say to Morpha came to mind.
That humans were simple creatures who could stop crying over a single piece of candy.
And that asking someone like me to think wisely was an impossibly difficult task.
