Chapter 468: Was it really over?
I felt completely drained, like every ounce of strength had been pulled out of me. My body still worked, but barely , running on empty in a way that went deeper than just being tired.
"Has Julian been cremated? I need to say goodbye," I asked softly.
Riley shook her head. "I’m not sure. After you collapsed, I had to focus on taking care of the babies. I’m sorry, Elena. I shouldn’t have left you alone."
None of us had expected Harlan to arrive before Lewis. He’d shown up early, before any of us were ready.
I placed a hand gently on Riley’s shoulder. "No one is to blame. It’s fate, Riley. We can’t fight fate."
I looked around the room. Harlan wasn’t there. I lowered my voice. "Riley, if that was my death curse, what does that mean for your future?"
"What else can we do? We just have to go with the flow," she answered, offering a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. "I’m okay. Being able to live again, to see my parents and you , that’s already more than I deserve. Even one more day feels like a gift. Don’t worry about me. Some things are simply beyond our control."
I let out a soft sigh. Despite her calm words, I knew Riley wasn’t as at peace as she seemed. Like me, she too had learned that fate didn’t negotiate. We had pushed against it, and in the end, we had no choice but to accept it.
After some water and food, I felt a little steadier. I asked Kate to help me get ready. It was time to say goodbye to Julian.
He had died because of me. Whatever had existed between us , love, hatred, everything in between , it had all dissolved into silence now.
At the crematorium, Lewis stood holding a small urn. His eyes were red from crying. The moment he saw me, I crossed the room and wrapped my arms around him. "Lewis."
He passed the urn to Damian and pulled me close. "Are you alright? Is the fever gone?"
I looked at his exhausted face and said nothing. No matter how hard I tried to protect him, Lewis was always the one who carried the most pain. He had just lost two people who were family to him. How was he still standing? And yet here he was, worried about me and the children.
"I’m fine," I whispered, holding onto him tightly. His forehead rested against mine.
"You’re still a little warm," he murmured. "But not bad."
"You need to eat something. Rest," I said.
"I’m fine," he replied softly. "I’m not hungry. I’ll stay with you. I know you want to say goodbye to Julian." No one had ever known me the way Lewis did. He took my hand and led me inside.
The morgue was dim and cold. It was my first time in a place like this. The chill hit me from every direction, raising the hair on my arms. Julian’s body lay beneath a white sheet, still dressed in the bloodstained suit he’d worn that day. Lewis gently pulled the sheet back, revealing his pale, still face.
"He chose that suit himself," Lewis said quietly. "I thought he’d want to leave wearing it."
I nodded without speaking.
I stood there looking at him, twenty years pressing down on me all at once. We had known each other since we were eight. I had seen him at his best and at his absolute worst , including the time he looked at me like I was something he wanted to destroy. Flashes of memory moved through my mind, but the one that stayed was the last: Julian stepping in front of the blade meant for me. In that moment, he had given back everything he’d taken. The man who had walked away from me a year ago had, in the end, paid his debt with his life.
Tears filled my eyes. "Julian, go now. Don’t worry about me anymore. I’ll live well. In your next life, find someone you truly love, and be at peace with her." I paused. "We were never meant to be."
In another life, I had stood in a wedding dress waiting for him, and he never came. This time, he came dressed for a wedding and found death instead. We were always just missing each other, caught between moments that never quite lined up.
Lewis’s arms came around me from behind. "If you need to cry, do it now. After today, I don’t want to see you shed another tear for him."
I gripped his shirt and let out a quiet, broken sound, pressing it down as best I could. This was the last time. These tears belonged to Julian, and only Julian.
"Lewis," I said, my voice rough. "He had one request , he wanted to be buried with my bracelet."
"Okay," Lewis said, steady and sure.
We watched as Julian’s body was taken away. Only family stayed behind. By the time his ashes were ready, the afternoon had settled around us.
I made my way to Joy’s grave. It was well cared for , fresh flowers, small offerings left nearby. A new grave had been dug beside hers. The staff told me that someone had been visiting often, always bringing snacks for Joy, and had arranged for the plot next to hers just three days ago. When they placed Julian’s photograph on the gravestone that afternoon, the staff recognized the visitor immediately. It had been him, all along.
I hadn’t told Adam about Julian’s passing. After Jeffrey died, Adam had left everything behind to go meditate at a temple. To him, Julian had been like a son. I was afraid the news would break him.
Lewis and I walked through the rain together, sharing an umbrella. I set white chrysanthemums on the grave and looked at the photograph of the young, handsome man carved into the stone. Today, he was truly gone from my world.
"Julian, goodbye."
I turned and left before the sun went down.
On the drive home, neither of us spoke. Lewis carried his mother’s ashes. Despite the heavy rain, he wanted to scatter them on a bright, sunny day, out at sea. For now, he placed Eleanor’s urn in the room where Jeffrey had once lived , she would have wanted to be near him, I thought. I touched the urn gently and whispered, "I forgive you."
When we got back, Riley and Harlan were in the middle of a diaper disaster. One held the baby’s arms, the other fumbled with the legs, and the whole thing was going sideways fast. Everett, full of energy as always, made it ten times worse. When Harlan leaned in, Everett squirmed at exactly the wrong moment, and Harlan pulled back with yellow baby poop on both hands.
"My hands! My hands,"
Bill had seen enough. "You’re so clumsy. How do you expect to be a father like this? Let me do it." The look on Bill’s face said everything a father-in-law’s face could say about a son-in-law. Harlan stepped aside quickly and went to wash his hands, knowing better than to say a single word.
Philippa’s children spotted me and ran over. "Elena!" Something in my chest softened just looking at them.
"Hey, darlings."
I walked over to Bill. "Dad, I’ll take over."
"No need. Rest. I’ve got this." He changed the diaper with the ease of someone who had done it a thousand times, patted Everett’s back after a feeding, and settled him on his shoulder without a second thought. Philippa gave me a sympathetic look.
"Tonight, I’ll take care of the kids. You and Lewis should rest."
I smiled and shook my head. "Mom, I’m fine. The babies are settled. And you still have two more to look after."
"They’ll sleep with him tonight. They won’t bother me," she assured me.
It was easy to see why Philippa looked so much younger and more alive these days. She practically glowed. With two capable fathers in the picture, her life had clearly taken a turn for the better. There was something to be said for a woman who had found her footing on her own terms.
After washing his hands, Harlan glanced around to make sure no one was paying attention. Then he quietly pulled Lucian aside and slipped a lollipop into his small hand with a grin. "Hey, buddy. I’m your brother-in-law."
