Chapter 198: Chapter 198: Whispers of New Life
SONIA’S POV
"Okay, alright, let’s calm down. Let’s leave you aside. What does that have to do with me?" I asked, still not understanding why he was relating his problems with me. My fingers tightened around the stem of the flower he had given me, the petals soft but fragile under my touch.
"Common, Sonia. You still don’t get it?" He sighed in frustration, running a hand through his hair as he looked at me with wide eyes.
"No I don’t. If you don’t spell it out for me, how am I supposed to get it?" I replied, just as frustrated as he was, my voice rising slightly as the confusion twisted in my stomach.
"Alright, listen," he looked around, before he continued, his voice dropping to a near whisper. "She behaved the same way you’re behaving before we found out. But don’t worry, no one in her packs knows yet. I mean no one that can put her in trouble," he said, his eyes flicking to my stomach for a brief moment.
"She behaved just like—" I paused, and gasped, the realization hitting me like a cold wave. My hand instinctively moved to my stomach, the fabric of my dress suddenly feeling too tight against my skin.
"Yeah, you finally get it!" He said excitedly, but there was nothing exciting about what he was insinuating. His grin was wide, but my world felt like it was tilting.
"Can you actually hear yourself!" I asked, almost breaking into a scream, my voice cracking with disbelief and panic. The garden around us suddenly felt too bright, too open, as if the flowers themselves were listening.
"What?"
He had the nerve to look confused. How could he assume something so ridiculous. Wouldn’t I know if it was true?
I was uncomfortable with this conversation, because it simply wasn’t true.
I really do believe you’ve absolutely lost your mind," I said, my hands trembling as I clutched the flower tighter, the stem bending under my grip.
"Are you denying it? Or you’re just trying to protect yourself from getting hurt by the truth? I’m surprised Lydia hadn’t pointed it out yet. I bet if you were still friends with Freya, she would have noticed."
"Shut up, Jed! I’m not playing with you. As far as I’m concerned, this conversation is over!"
I rose to my feet immediately, and walked away, my boots crunching against the gravel path as my heart pounded in my ears. The garden blurred slightly through the sudden sting of tears I refused to let fall.
I couldn’t bear one more second in his presence, hearing that heresy.
Marching past the field where my other brothers who were training called for me, I ignored them and went straight into the house. Their voices faded behind me, but the weight of Jed’s words followed like a shadow I couldn’t shake.
I shut my room door behind me, and rested my back on it. The cool wood against my back grounded me for a moment, but my mind was spinning too fast to find peace.
"Could he be —–" I touched my stomach, whilst shaking my head, my fingers pressing lightly against the fabric as if searching for answers.
It couldn’t be, right? There was just no way.
But on second thought, the symptoms were there.
I was more nauseous than usual. I had terrible morning sickness that left me weak and drained, the smell of certain foods making my stomach churn violently.
The headaches that followed this sickness were sometimes unbearable, pounding behind my eyes until I could barely think straight.
I can’t even get into how hot my body got at intervals, sudden waves of heat that left me flushed and uncomfortable.
"Could it—?" I muttered, but pursed my lips in silence, the possibility too terrifying to voice out loud.
It couldn’t be. It just couldn’t be. The thought of it was enough to send me spiralling, my breath coming faster as panic clawed at my chest. A child. Ramon’s child. The idea both terrified and broke something inside me.
I heard a knock on my door, and almost collapsed to the ground.
"Go away!" I called to whoever was behind the door, when I regained my voice, my words shaky but firm.
"It’s me, Sonia. It’s Lydia," I heard her voice clearly, soft but persistent.
"Please go away. I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone," I insisted, pressing my back harder against the door as if it could shield me from everything.
"But I have something for you to do. Open the door, and find out," she said in a compelling tone, her voice carrying that familiar warmth that always made it hard to refuse her.
I really needed to figure things out, hence my desire to be left alone.
But I couldn’t underestimate how persistent Lydia was.
She probably would stand all day, and night by my door, until I let her in. The thought of her waiting there, patient and concerned, made my resolve crack.
With an exhausted sigh, I opened the door, and ushered her in.
I closed the door as she stepped in, and went to sit on my bed, my legs feeling unsteady beneath me.
"What do you want, Lydia?" I asked, my voice tired as I rubbed my temples.
"To sneak you out of here, and take you to a place where you get to do what you love the most."
"And what’s that?" I asked, raising a furious brow, my patience already thin.
"You want me to spit it out, don’t you?" She teased, a small smile playing on her lips.
"I’m not in the mood for jokes, Lydia. What is it you want?" I demanded brusquely, my hands clenching in my lap.
Taken aback by my harsh tone, her brow lifted.
"I’m just not in the best of moods, okay? And I’m so tired of everyone talking in code. When I decipher these codes, it’s never something good. So just tell me why you’re sneaking me out of my room, then I can judge if it’s worth it or not," I said, and struggled to catch my breath at the end of that long rant, my chest tight with the weight of everything unsaid.
"Fine, fine, I’ll tell you. There’s an old woman who is suffering from a strange sickness. The pack doctor has done their best, but their best is presently not enough. I think this is your area of specialty," she said, her eyes lighting up with hope.
I was going to immediately refuse, but paused just before any words could come out of my mouth.
I needed this. I needed all of the distractions I could get. The chance to use my hands, to focus on healing someone else instead of the chaos inside me, felt like a lifeline.
It was surely better than thinking of what Jed had insinuated.
Maybe he just wanted to have a partner when it came to the trouble we’d be in if father found out about our secrets.
No, I don’t have a secret. He was alone in that.
I shook my head, because I was starting to overthink things again, the possibility he had planted taking root despite my efforts to push it away.
"Sonia, are you okay? If you don’t want to do it, I can just find someone else," Lydia said, her voice softening with concern.
"Who else is going to heal her if the pack doctor can’t," I snarked, my voice sharper than I intended, but the words felt true.
"Is that a yes then?" She smiled at me, her eyes bright with relief.
"Let’s go."
She grabbed my healing tools from under the bed, the familiar weight of the bag bringing a small measure of comfort as she handed it to me.
I had missed them terribly, because it was just so much easier having them around me. The herbs, the bandages, the small vials — they felt like pieces of who I used to be, before everything had fallen apart.
"Ready?" She asked, and I nodded, despite not being sure if I was ever going to be ready for anything ever again. The uncertainty in my stomach twisted again, but I pushed it down, focusing on the task ahead.
She opened the door first, and looked around to see if anyone was watching.
When she was certain the coast was clear, she whipped her head behind, and gave me a wink.
She walked out first, and then I followed behind her, my steps quiet on the stone floor.
We went straight to one of our secret routes, an old staircase that creaks when walked on. The wood groaned under our weight, but we moved carefully, our breaths held as we descended.
It was a miracle the noise had never been enough for us to be caught.
Perhaps, it was a testament to just how incompetent the guards situated around the area were. Or maybe the moon goddess was watching over us, giving me this small mercy in the middle of the storm.
We tiptoed through two more doors, before finally bursting into the open.
Our eyes locked, and we exchanged triumphant smiles, the fresh air hitting our faces like a small victory.
"Let’s go heal an old woman!" Lydia cheered, and I couldn’t help but laugh, the sound surprising even me.
This was a good decision. I had already forgotten about my potential problems, at least for now. The distraction felt like a lifeline, pulling me away from the terrifying possibility Jed had planted in my mind.
