Chapter 197: Chapter 197: The River’s Silence
RAMON’S POV
I sat by the river bank, and stared into space as my mind wandered about. The water flowed steadily in front of me, its gentle current creating small ripples that caught the afternoon light.
The sound of it should have been soothing, a constant rhythm that usually calmed the storm inside me, but today it only reminded me of how much had changed.
Coming to the river had become a routine of mine. I came here almost every day now, seeking the quiet that the rest of the pack could no longer give me. The trees around me stood tall and silent, their leaves rustling softly in the breeze, offering a small pocket of peace in a world that felt like it was closing in.
I appreciated the serenity, because it was the polar opposite of the direction my life had taken. The chaos of the pack, the whispers behind my back, the weight of expectations I no longer cared to meet—all of it faded here, at least for a little while.
Many years back, I thought that by this point, I would have achieved every goal I set out to achieve. Revenge against Ferins, a strong pack, a legacy that no one could touch. Instead, I sat here with empty hands and a heavier heart than I had ever known.
"Your presence is needed," I suddenly heard, and my peace was disrupted. The voice cut through the gentle sounds of the river, pulling me back to reality.
"By who?"
"Me," Blane replied, and sat beside me, despite not asking him to do that. His boots crunched on the pebbles, and he settled in as if he belonged there.
"What are you doing?" I asked, shocked by his boldness. My jaw tightened as I kept my gaze fixed on the water, refusing to look at him.
"I think it’s time we need to talk," he said, his voice steady but carrying an undercurrent of frustration.
"Talk about what? And how many times have I said I don’t want to be disturbed why I’m by the river?" I asked in a chiding tone, my fingers digging into the grass beside me.
He sighed, and pushed his hand into a bag I had only just noticed its presence.
Pulling something out, my curiosity was satisfied when he brought it to my face.
"Why are you pointing a mirror at me?" I asked, quickly tossing my face to the side. The reflection caught a glimpse of my own eyes, hollow and tired, before I turned away.
"Exactly that. You’re always by the water, but ensure you never look at your reflection. I want you to take a hard look, and stop," he said in a strong voice, holding the mirror steady.
With every word that came out of his lips, I was continuously astounded by his gall. Blane had always been direct, but this felt like a step too far, even for him.
"I don’t want to look at myself, Blane. I’ll also really need you to leave, before you get more annoying."
"Good, we’re getting somewhere. Previously, you’d just mutter a few words and call it a day. At least you’re actually speaking to me," he said, his tone almost satisfied.
"Blane, what do you want?" I asked, running out of patience. The river’s gentle flow suddenly felt mocking against the storm building inside me.
I wanted to be alone. What part of that was too hard for anyone to understand?
"I want you to look at yourself, and remember who you are. You’ve gone silent. No one has heard from the alpha of bloodmoon. They all think you’re plotting, hence them plotting too. But you’re doing nothing. Absolutely nothing!"
"And so what?!" I growled in annoyance, my voice echoing across the water. The sound startled a few birds from the nearby trees, sending them flying into the sky.
He had the good sense to move back, taking precaution.
He had gotten me heated over the fact he wanted me to look at a stupid mirror?
To what end? What would I see that I haven’t seen before? A broken man staring back at me? A failure who let his mate walk away?
"Because the silence is going to become too loud soon, and questions will begin to be asked. I don’t want a situation where we’re unprepared when the questions are asked. Daniel and I have done our best to keep everything intact due to your disinterest. But you’re our alpha, and there’s only so much we can do," he said and sighed, his shoulders slumping slightly.
I could tell he was tired. It wasn’t easy to run a pack after all.
Everyone saw the honor and glory bestowed on alpha’s. No one ever noticed the sacrifice, and hard work that went into keeping a pack safe.
They stepped in my shoes, and realized it wasn’t made of soft leather, but of alabaster. The weight of it pressed on me daily, making every breath feel heavier.
"You two seem to be doing a fine job in keeping the pack running. I appreciate your efforts. Can I return to meditating now?" I asked, my voice flat as I stared at the water again.
"Not until you look in the mirror. I just want you to see your reflection. Just one time," he begged, holding the mirror out once more.
"Let him be. He won’t do it. There’s no point forcing him to do what he doesn’t want to do. Besides, I think we have other things to worry about," I heard Ivy’s voice, and sighed.
I should have known where there was one, there were the others.
This had been their routine. Tag teaming me every chance they got.
Perhaps they thought if they played the emotional blackmail strings, it would compel me to give them a listening ear.
I didn’t give a damn. The pack was peaceful, I was peaceful. That was all that mattered to me. Or at least, that’s what I kept telling myself.
"Don’t say that. The alpha Ramon I used to know is still in there somewhere. I don’t care what anyone says. He’s still in there," Blane said confidently, his voice filled with a stubborn hope that only irritated me more.
"When is he going to return then? He can’t even look at his own reflection. I heard Ferins is gathering an army to attack. He already has such a huge army to start with, but he’s gathering more. How do we counter that when the inevitable occurs?" Ivy asked, her voice sharp with worry.
"The alpha is going to return to his senses before anything like that happens. Besides, Ferins has his daughter back. Why would he want to attack us?" Blane replied, but I was stuck on the name he called.
I knew he had done it on purpose, especially after I warned that I never wanted to hear that name mentioned around me.
However, as soon as the name was mentioned, she was all I could think about.
And everytime I thought about her, raw pain from my depths, pain I could never describe, filled my lungs, making it hard for me to breathe. The image of her turning away from me that day flashed in my mind, her voice cold and final, cutting through me like a fresh blade.
"I don’t think Sonia would allow that to happen. She might not be with us anymore, but I think she has the thought of us in her heart. I wonder how she’s fairing. If she’s eating well. I mean she must be, right? She’s a princess," Ivy said, and I could just hear the smile on her face, the hope in her voice.
I hissed loudly, as I slowly rose to my feet. Enough had been said, and my ears had heard enough. The pain in my chest flared hot, making my hands shake as I clenched them at my sides.
"She said she didn’t care when I asked if she was okay with never hearing from you again. Get out of your fantasyland, and face reality."
I walked past her, ignoring her angry growl. Because whilst they lived in delusion, I knew the truth. And that truth had set me free.
