Chapter 101: Chapter 101: Unspoken Desires
SONIA’S POV
I swallowed every bit of the evidence of his pleasure. The taste lingered on my tongue—warm, slightly salty, and strangely intimate. My cheeks burned as I knelt there, heart still racing from what I had just done. The garden around us felt quieter now, the soft rustle of leaves and distant birds the only sounds breaking the heavy silence.
"You—" his voice broke off in the middle of saying something. He staggered behind and dropped to the ground. Thankfully, there was a bench to hold his weight. The wooden seat creaked under him as he sat, his broad shoulders rising and falling with each deep breath.
I stood, and walked to him, dropping to his weak laps. I cupped his face in my palm, and kissed him. Everything I did was as a result of my instincts. My instincts directed me. And the more I did it to him, the more pleasure I gained. His skin felt warm under my fingers, slightly damp from exertion, and his lips responded slowly at first, then with growing hunger. The faint taste of him still lingered between us.
As I kissed him, I felt him growing hard again. The evidence pressed against my thigh through his pants, firm and insistent. I began to straddle his laps, my dress riding up my legs as I settled over him. He met out a guttural growl, and a hand reached out to stop me. His fingers dug into my hip, firm but not painful.
My lips stopped moving, and I opened my eyes. The morning light caught the sharp lines of his face, his expression a mix of desire and restraint. "Did I do something wrong?" I asked. My voice came out soft and uncertain, my body still humming with need.
"No. But if you don’t stop, I’ll do something wrong," he replied in code. His breath brushed hot against my lips, sending another shiver through me.
I didn’t understand what he was trying to communicate. He was at fault, anyway. Because of him, something filthy had been lit up in me. His constant sudden kisses, and my wolf’s insatiable desire spurred me on. There was also the heat wave of the incoming full moon. It was only going to get worse according to the books I had read. My skin felt flushed and overly sensitive, every brush of fabric against me making me ache.
I couldn’t stop. I didn’t want to stop. I just wanted him. If he stayed away, I probably would be able to control my desires better. But he didn’t want to, and my wolf was grateful for that stubbornness. She paced restlessly inside me, urging me closer, craving more of his touch, his scent, his heat.
"You’re changing," he continued to my surprise. His voice was low, almost thoughtful, as his eyes traced my face.
"How?" I whispered, still straddling him, my hands resting on his shoulders. The muscles there felt tense and solid under my palms.
He shook his head and gently nudged me up. Pulling his pants up, he rose to his feet. The loss of his warmth left me cold, exposed in the open garden air. My wolf pranced around in frustration. That was the end. I had gotten some satisfaction in pleasuring him, but had also hoped he’d return the favour. The ache between my legs throbbed insistently, unfulfilled and demanding.
I guess I wasn’t that desirable. Whilst he gave me an inch, and I responded with ten, he wasn’t willing to flip the scale. Unable to control my emotions in that moment, tears welled up in my eyes. I pinched my arm, telling myself to hold it in. I couldn’t possibly cry because the alpha didn’t want to pleasure me. Who would hear such a thing? I’d end up just looking crazy, and desperate. But despite how much I tried to hold myself, the tears still filled my throat, clawing at the slightest chance to rain down. My vision blurred slightly as I fought them back.
He turned swiftly before I could avert my gaze, and saw the sad cloud gathered in my eyes. His expression shifted, something unreadable flickering across his face.
I didn’t expect him to do anything. So far he had shown he could control himself better. He also didn’t care much about me or my feelings. As long as he could get what he wanted when he wanted, I could go to hell for all he cared. I hugged my knees as he drew towards me. He probably wanted to smack me for acting so weird.
"Control yourself, Sonia," I cried in my heart whilst calling on my wolf for strength. She didn’t respond in kind. Instead, she whispered, also hurt. The bond between us felt raw and unsteady, pulling me toward him even as rejection stung.
He sat beside me on the bench, and his scent totally overwhelmed me. Everything about him drew me in. My poor heart couldn’t act disinterested if its continued existence depended on it. The familiar warmth of his body so close made my skin tingle again.
"Sonia?" He called, and I almost fell to the ground in agony. His voice was softer than usual, almost gentle.
"Alpha Ramon?" I replied, despite the anguish I was in. The title felt heavy on my tongue, a reminder of the distance between us.
"Alpha Ramon?" He scoffed. "You barely call me alpha," he said. There was a note of surprise in his tone, like he had noticed the small things about me.
He had noticed. I usually tried, but I wasn’t used to using the word. Even back in my pack, I never used the word, because my father was alpha. I couldn’t possibly call my own father alpha.
"I’m sorry," I apologised. I didn’t know what else I could possibly do. I wished this feeling of sadness didn’t overcome me. It made me feel very ashamed. My cheeks burned, and I kept my gaze lowered, fingers twisting in the fabric of my dress.
His fingers lifted my chin, and turned it to his side, so I was facing him. The touch was surprisingly gentle, his thumb brushing lightly against my skin. "What’s wrong?" He asked in a tone I had never heard him use on me before. It was quiet, almost concerned, sending a confusing warmth through my chest.
"Nothing," I shook my head. "I’m just tired." I lied through my teeth. The real answer was too ridiculous to even ponder telling him. How could I let him know my body, and my wolf craved satisfaction? What kind of person did that make me? In his eyes, I was already a whore. It confused me as well. I wasn’t very experienced, so how come I had all of these desires bottled inside of me?
"Would you have the same answer if Blane asked you?" His fingers dropped from my face as he asked. The question landed like a stone in still water.
"What?!" My eyes widened in shock. The sudden shift caught me completely off guard.
"You heard me. If Blane is here with you right now, asking you this same question, would you have the same response for him?"
"Of course I would. But why will Blane be with me? We’re not that close for that to happen." My voice rose a little, defensive and confused. The garden felt smaller suddenly, the flowers and sunlight fading into the background.
"You’re not? Recent occurrences have proven otherwise won’t you agree?" His gaze sharpened, searching my face for something I couldn’t name.
I shook my head vigorously. I didn’t even want to think of the interpretation of what he just said. Blane was simply feeling guilty, and wanted to make up for it. There was nothing more to his kindness. The thought of anything else made my stomach twist uncomfortably.
"And Liam? What about Liam?"
I had barely processed the question about Blane, and now he was bringing in Alpha Liam? How could I even respond to that question without making me look suspicious. Alpha Liam was a different ball game because I actually happened to like him platonically. He was never not kind to me. From the first time he saw me, until he abruptly had to leave, thanks to Ramon.
"Alpha Liam is a good person. But if he asked me if I was fine, I would still give him the same answer. Because even if I told him the truth, it would require me telling him the reason for the truth. It would be quite the uncomfortable conversation to have." The words tumbled out, honest but careful.
I was done yapping when I realised I had basically retracted my initial response in a bid to defend myself. I bit my lips, and threw my head to the side. Holding my breath, I waited for his judgement. My heart pounded loudly in my ears, the garden suddenly too quiet around us.
