The servant led me to a door made from thick paulownia wood and loudly announced my arrival.
A voice from inside told us to enter.
The servant opened the door and looked back at me.
When I stepped inside, I saw Giselle reclining against a sofa with his back turned toward me. He had definitely noticed me enter, yet he didn’t look back.
I walked around the sofa and stopped in front of him.
“Sit.”
Like I wouldn’t have sat down even if he hadn’t told me to.
Grumbling internally, I dropped onto the sofa.
Maybe it was because the leather cushions pushed stiffly against me, but the seat felt uncomfortable.
Still, I waited for Giselle to speak first.
He must have called me here for a reason.
And that reason was probably what I’d said before.
Leaving the royal palace.
“Have some tea first.”
Giselle gestured toward the teacup set in front of me.
Just get to the point already.
The words hovered at the edge of my mouth, but I swallowed them down and reached for the cup instead.
The teacup felt painfully hot against my cold hands.
After fidgeting with the handle for a moment, I set it down and looked at Giselle.
Today, those unreadable eyes of his seemed strangely clear.
“I was the one who summoned you first, but I suspect your answer has already been decided.”
“......”
An answer.
I wanted to snap back and ask who the hell he thought he was to demand one from me.
Besides, I wasn’t even in a position where I truly had a choice.
Maybe nobody was, really.
Among people standing before death, how many would choose to remain beside the person they loved and force that person to endure them to the very end?
“I’m leaving.”
Thankfully, my voice didn’t shake.
“And do you understand that once you leave, you will never be able to return? That you will never see Temar again?”
“......”
For a moment, I lost the ability to speak.
Of course I had prepared myself for that before deciding to leave.
This wasn’t some shallow impulse where I thought I could just come back whenever I missed him.
I was more like an animal searching for a place to die once the end approached.
To abandon a life I still clung to, I needed that level of resolve.
But only now did I realize something.
Making that promise to myself and hearing those words spoken aloud by someone else were completely different things.
Never see him again.
I already understood that was what death meant...
And yet Giselle’s words still tore through my chest like a blade.
I tried not to let my face twist.
But before I realized it, my face was wet.
My jaw hurt from clenching my teeth so hard, and my palm stung where I’d dug my nails into it trying to hide the trembling in my hands.
Why are humans so weak?
After resolving yourself over and over, after giving up so many times, shouldn’t it stop hurting eventually?
Then why...
Why did it still hurt this vividly every single time, like the first time all over again?
Giselle waited patiently.
Without urging me, he quietly lifted his teacup.
Eventually, by the time the warmth had faded from my own untouched tea, I finally spoke.
“I prepared myself... to never see him again. I know that too.”
I wanted to sound cold.
But there was no strength in my voice at all.
“Are you planning to leave alone?”
Giselle continued immediately.
“You don’t intend to take the physician staying with you?”
I nodded.
“You will never be permitted inside this palace again. If you truly understand that, then I’ll help you leave quietly.”
Giselle’s tone was neither cold nor kind.
Still, something about the way he treated me now felt different from before.
I couldn’t explain it.
“Why are you helping me?”
The question itself felt strange.
Rather than helping me, it almost felt like Giselle wanted me to leave.
He didn’t answer right away.
Instead, he simply watched me silently.
How did I look in Giselle’s eyes right now?
It wasn’t long before he finally answered.
And that answer stayed with me for a long time afterward.
“Let’s call it pity.”
Maybe it was because his voice, after such a long pause, sounded faintly gentle.
***
‘What does he mean by pity?’
The entire walk back to my room, I kept trying to understand what Giselle meant, but I couldn’t figure it out at all.
After saying that, he hadn’t even given me time to ask what he meant.
He’d immediately sent the servant away with instructions to inform Ragniel he would be visiting him, then stood up at once.
As he left the reception room, Giselle glanced back at me briefly before turning away completely.
Even that felt suspicious somehow.
‘Maybe I’ve just become too paranoid.’
Or maybe it was simply because I knew absolutely nothing about him.
But it didn’t matter anymore.
Once I left this place, not only my brother, but Giselle too would become someone completely unrelated to me.
“I want to wash my face.”
Walking through the corridor, I suddenly stopped and said it out loud.
My heart had calmed now, quiet as a still lake.
But it would be a problem if anyone realized I’d been crying.
Someone might ask why.
And now...
I didn’t think I could lie naturally anymore.
“Pardon? If you return to your room, we can prepare water—”
“I want to do it now. Cold water is fine. I don’t care if I have to do it standing here.”
“But...”
The servant trailed off awkwardly.
I felt guilty for being stubborn, but sometimes your own wellbeing mattered more than things like guilt!
I shamelessly looked away and pretended not to notice his discomfort.
If I apologized while asking, he’d definitely try convincing me to return to my room instead.
“Then... this way, please.”
After glancing around, the servant led me into a nearby room.
He told me firmly not to leave while he fetched water, then hurried out.
Like everything else in the royal palace, the room had an old-fashioned elegance to it.
The sparse furnishings made it look either like a guest room or a place left mostly unused.
I looked around briefly before sitting down in a chair.
Sunlight streamed freely through the uncovered windows, flooding the room with warm light. It was bright enough that no lamps were needed.
Watching the soft golden light fill the room calmed me a little.
I sat there blankly, staring at the sunlight stretching all the way to my feet when—
Thud.
“...?”
Did I imagine that?
I froze and lifted my head.
Then—
Thuuud.
The sound came again.
I stood from the chair and looked around.
Where was it coming from?
Swallowing hard, I pressed my ear against the walls of the not-so-large room one by one.
And then—
From beyond the wall where the cabinet stood, I heard something.
The sound of objects breaking and crashing...
And someone’s voice.
“...Ragniel?”
I couldn’t be certain, but it sounded like him.
Knock knock.
At that exact moment, someone knocked and the doorknob turned.
Startled out of my mind, I jerked away from the wall, tripped over my own feet, and fell.
“Ah! Are you all right?!”
The servant nearly dropped the basin of water in shock before rushing toward me.
“I’m fine. Thank you.”
Awkwardly thanking him, I accepted his help getting back to my feet.
“What were you doing?”
When he noticed me staring at the wall, he asked curiously.
I quickly said it was nothing and washed my face with the water he’d brought.
The water was lukewarm, but against my skin it felt freezing cold.
Trying to hide my trembling hands, I splashed the water quickly over my face.
“I can do it myself.”
I refused when the servant tried to dry my face for me, snatched the towel instead, and rubbed my face roughly.
Once I finished washing up, the servant stepped out to put the basin away.
Watching carefully, I waited about ten seconds after he left before slipping out of the room myself.
‘What was that sound?’
But once I stepped into the corridor, everything was silent.
‘Wasn’t it around here? Should I go back inside?’
Something about that noise kept bothering me.
I wanted to know exactly what had happened.
Unfortunately, I didn’t get the chance.
The servant returned too quickly, startled to find me outside, and hurried me back toward my room.
As I walked, I glanced back briefly before speaking.
“Where is... His Majesty Ragniel at this hour?”
“...He is in his office. We’re almost at your room.”
“......”
For a moment, it felt like the servant had flinched in surprise, but when I looked at him, his expression was perfectly calm.
He walked even faster than before while escorting me back.
I caught my breath and stepped into the room—
And the person I wanted to see was there.
Standing quietly in front of the rocking chair the old apothecary had gifted me, my brother slowly turned his head.
And I felt it clearly—
The rippling emotions spreading slowly through those dark brown eyes.
Bright emotions.
As vivid as sunlight breaking through storm clouds.
“Brother.”
That was why I could call out to him lightly, just like always.
“Temar!”
Overflowing with happiness to see him again.
