Chapter 993: Chapter 990: Ski Resort
"...You’re still scared of getting beaten up? If a fight really broke out, I’d be worried you’d end up beating me up along the way."
Ansheng rolled her eyes, feeling it was a pity she couldn’t be there in person to watch the family drama and eat melon.
The Yu Family relatives’ big show of fighting over the inheritance—if everyone went all out and tore into each other—the level of drama probably wouldn’t lose to some ancient Nine Dragons vying for the throne spectacle.
By then, she could totally sneak into the enemy camp, steal their feng shui fish, and snap their money tree. Then use branches from the money tree as firewood to roast their feng shui fish.
Unfortunately... Ah Qing was scared of getting beaten, so no such blessing for her.
"How could I possibly get into a fight? One punch out, and half a year of our household’s income is gone..."
Ah Qing’s face was full of black lines as she ruthlessly roasted the little fox.
"Mom said it before: one punch to the shoulder, shattered collarbone, that’s fifty thousand in compensation; hit a joint, that’s eighty thousand; straight to the face, probably a hundred thousand; a shoulder throw comes with funeral expenses included."
"Our Yu Family is a scholarly household, okay!"
While bathing the little fox, Ah Qing took the chance to give Ansheng a little science lesson on judicial disability assessment and how it ties into compensation payouts.
Back when she was young, Chen Peipei had been a militia member, so she had a clear grasp of the related legal procedures.
Other martial arts masters, when they go through a full set of punches, you might hear their bones ringing in chorus, something like tiger-leopard thunder sounds.
But when Ah Qing let loose a set of heavy punches... no, maybe just three punches, the whole village would be able to hear the "dong dong qiang" and suona blaring together, ready to start the wedding banquet at noon.
So, Chen Peipei had always reminded Ah Qing that when she gets into a fight or a shouting match, she should try to land a slap on the other person’s cheek first. That one slap is enough to knock the other person out for at least half an hour.
Once the other side faints, they can’t run their mouths, and it can also help stop things from escalating.
Even if she’s getting ganged up on, she should still strike first, swinging her arm in a wide arc and slapping through them like sweeping away a thousand troops.
Slapping is cheap. Even if you get detained, a slap at most costs three thousand; it doesn’t even count as a public security detention.
"Uh... what your mom said actually kind of makes sense." Ansheng looked at Ah Qing with a strange expression and said:
"So... how many people have you slapped?"
"I think... none? From elementary school classmates to high school classmates, everyone’s been pretty nice." Ah Qing thought about it and looked at the little fox as she said, "Maybe I’m too much of a nerd? The bad kids don’t bother with me."
"Really?" Ansheng looked half-believing, half-doubting, staring at Ah Qing’s open and honest expression and feeling there had to be some tiny story behind it.
If Ah Qing’s expression had been hesitant and awkward, then what she said would probably be trustworthy.
But being this upright and frank actually made Ansheng feel that there was definitely something else going on.
"Like I’d lie to you." Ah Qing shrugged, indicating she really hadn’t slapped any classmates.
Ah Qing fished the little fox out of the basin, put him on the washbasin counter lined with a bath towel, and pulled out the hair dryer, blowing Huhu’s fur all over until it was fluffy.
"Alright, you’re done, now it’s my turn..."
Ah Qing put the little fox down at the bathroom door, gave his butt a pat, indicating he could go roll around on the bed.
"Finished your bath?"
Lying on her side on the bed, Momo had her phone propped on the pillow, scrolling through short videos. Seeing Ansheng come back, she smiled brightly and greeted:
"Oh right, injecting the Spirit Particle Potion and Spiritualization really doesn’t have any side effects?"
"It shouldn’t. Why are you suddenly asking about this?" Ansheng climbed onto the bed, shook out her snowy white fur, and looked at Momo curiously.
"Nothing much. Just that when we got back to the hotel, Lingren acted all mysterious, invited me into the room, and proudly told me she’s having a second growth spurt and her boobs are growing..."
"I even thought she was actually going to make it." Momo waved a hand dismissively, looking totally indifferent.
"Huh? That happened?" Ansheng showed a dubious expression, turned around, and sauntered off into Lingren and Tang You’s room.
"Eek—ow ow ow!"
Momo stuck her head out in surprise, looking toward the doorway of Lingren’s room, a question mark slowly forming over her head.
"I checked. She grew two pimples." Ansheng came back to the bed looking disappointed:
"Just now I thought she was going to be like me and grow a double row of buttons, so she could plan ahead for the future, then merge the Six Harmonies and become all domineering and unmatched."
"In the end... nothing came out at all."
"Damn... So that scream just now—did you pop the pimples on her chest?" Momo’s face twisted, and she instinctively scooted her butt closer to the edge of the bed.
Popping someone’s not-yet-ripe pimples—this is the type who probably wouldn’t even blink killing someone.
"Why would I squeeze that kind of thing? I just took a look, made sure Lingren hadn’t mutated, and came back." Ansheng yawned as she answered offhandedly, then burrowed into the covers.
"I’m sleeping, I’m sleeping. Take me skiing tomorrow morning. I’ve never played with that stuff before."
"Also..." Ansheng lifted her head, looking at Momo a bit warily as she said, "Sleep properly tonight. Otherwise, don’t blame me for being ruthless!"
"Uh..." Momo froze, looked at the hand she’d habitually placed on her stress-relief ball, awkwardly pulled it back, then made a fake pounce toward the little fox like she was going to grab and squeeze him.
"Waaah—Ah Qing, come save me! The little fox is about to kick me out of bed! He’s got the floor mop!"
"Holy crap, it’s even a high-temperature steam mop!"
"Huh!?" Ah Qing, still in the bathroom, froze and shouted toward the door, utterly baffled, "Did you start fiddling with the little fox’s double-row buttons again?!"
...
Before going to sleep that night, Ansheng got up specially to help Momo straighten her quilt, tucking all four corners under Momo’s body, wrapping her up like a little cocoon.
Ansheng drifted off feeling very pleased, and the night passed quietly and peacefully until the next morning.
"...A spirit man? Wait, why’s your family suddenly looking for a spirit man? I didn’t hear anything happened at your place..."
"Go to hell!"
Half-asleep, Ansheng heard what sounded like Momo arguing with someone over the phone, then opened her eyes and saw Momo sitting in the living room on a call.
All sorts of Lingnan-accented lines poured out, but some of them were spoken so fast that even Ansheng couldn’t quite catch them.
"She’s insane..."
Momo rolled her eyes, hung up, and cursed one last time.
"Was that a fight?"
Ansheng hurriedly got out of bed and scampered to the living room, quickly perching on the table, grabbing a nearby cola to hold in her paws as she got ready to listen to the gossip from the big blowup.
"No, it was a foodie friend of mine." Momo waved her hand, looking utterly speechless:
"She called at the crack of dawn asking if I knew any reliable nam mo guys... like monks and priests, the sort who mainly chant scriptures, perform rituals, and exorcise evil spirits."
"She just weighed herself and was super unhappy about it, then decided her scale must have something dirty in it, and wants me to recommend some reliable nam mo guys to exorcise her scale..."
"A scale that costs three or four hundred, and she wants to hire a nam mo team for seven or eight thousand to chant at it. I’m honestly impressed."
Momo complained with a face full of black lines.
"Something dirty in the scale?" Ansheng looked at Momo with a weird expression. "Your friend... how heavy is she?"
"One forty-six."
"One forty-six isn’t that heavy, is it?" Ansheng glanced at Momo’s figure and said.
Someone like Momo, who keeps up a workout routine and has a relatively high muscle mass, weighing a bit over 110 pounds would still look like just over 100 from the outside.
At over 1.7 meters tall, Momo looked like she was on the skinny side even at just over 100 jin.
"It’s 146 kilos..."
Ansheng: "..."
Does that scale she bought have a link?
"What are you two talking about? Breakfast’s here. We’re heading to the ski resort later."
Ah Qing and Tang You came back with breakfast. As they entered the suite from outside, they saw the little fox and Momo sitting face-to-face like they were in the middle of some conversation, the atmosphere super weird.
