His pose and expression had none of the first day’s awkwardness.
In the quiet space, as if submerged deep underwater, the Jeff Beck album he’d told me about played at low volume, and we filled the time without boredom while trading only the minimum talk needed for the work.
On this fourth session in the garden, my brother-figure—nude, perched on the rock in front of the oriental arborvitae whose branches twisted every which way like wild wood, head turned toward me—looked not just comfortable but free.
That current passed straight into me, and after the past few days of work the images for composition and color had almost completely settled in my head.
I recorded his poses with multiple photos and sketched enough to fill an entire drawing notebook. The groundwork felt more or less done.
Fixing once more in my mind the complex straight line that fell from his shoulder into his arm—extremely thin, so it looked aggressive and sharp and at the same time precarious, sensitive, easy to hurt—I moved my hand quickly over the folding table-easel.
“Thank you for the hard work, Juhan. You can relax now.”
Even after I put my pencil down and said it, he didn’t move right away. He’d been that way the past three days as well—like an actor who, after shooting a scene of heavy emotional immersion, can’t immediately come out of it.
Unlike when he held the pose, he sat there a moment with only the strength gone from his waist, then pressed both hands hard around his eyes, stretched his neck to either side, extended his arms and legs like a yawn of a stretch, and slowly stood to pick up the shower robe he’d tossed onto another rock nearby.
By the time he came toward me smiling, he had only just returned to his usual self.
I stopped the hand that had been tidying the tools scattered over the outdoor table set I’d arranged for working, and passed him a cold beer I’d just taken from the icebox.
“I might ask again later, but for now I think today will do it.”
“Really? It was kind of healing. Bit of a shame.”
Dropping onto the bench opposite and rubbing the tip of his nose, Juhan’s face felt far more familiar than before we worked together. Not in the sense that I knew him better—more that I’d erased the parts I’d thought I knew and left them blank, and that emptiness felt friendly.
“Sitting completely naked and still among the trees—it felt really good. You don’t get chances to try that easily.”
Sipping his beer, gazing vacantly at the spot where he’d just been sitting quietly, he looked like someone waking from a deep sleep.
“Because you felt at ease, I could focus while I drew. I think the rest of the work will be enjoyable too. Thank you.”
“I did a couple of fashion magazine shoots outside of Old Future, two or three times maybe, but they weren’t much fun. The vibe of the crews didn’t mesh with me either. But this time—ah... it was good.”
Tilting back the can as he said it, Juhan didn’t look like he was saying it just to be nice.
What I’d initially recognized only as the act of drawing Juhan changed its meaning as we actually went along. The communion with the subject—the delicate awakening of that long-ago feeling engraved somewhere inside my body. The memory of understanding and loving a subject through looking, observing, and rendering it.
“What, you’re already finished?”
At the arrival of a familiar, welcome voice, we both turned at once. Yuni was standing at the door that connected to the parking lot, the disappointment plain on her face. He was with her.
“Why are you upset you didn’t get to see me naked?”
“What are you talking about? Like I haven’t seen your body a dozen times. A bundle-of-sticks body—what’s there to look at? I wanted to catch you flustered stark naked so I could make fun of you.”
While Yuni and Juhan traded their almost habitual bickering, I avoided their eyes and traded a brief greeting by glance with him.
Dressed comfortably in a crisp T-shirt under a breezy light sky-blue striped linen suit that looked cool and fresh, he was holding a paper bag from the burger chain I’d picked for dinner.
“Hmph. Would you still talk like that if you’d actually seen me naked? Even if I’m skinny everywhere else, you know, that one part is—”
“Seo Ihyeon, I’ve missed you. Still a little honeybee, I see?”
Wearing a dissatisfied face with one corner of her lip hooked upward while she listened to Juhan brag, Yuni swung around to me before he even finished and beamed. It was the first time I’d seen her since the barbecue.
“Honeybee—what’s that? Ah... the stripes!”
Juhan forgot to press her about the earlier slight or deliberate ignoring and showed interest in the nickname she’d given me. The two who’d been squabbling seconds ago were suddenly in sync again, happily volleying over a new nickname. It felt like it’d been a while since things were this boisterous.
“Director’s good at nicknames, right? Suits Ihyeon, doesn’t it? Seo-Honeybee. Honeybee.”
Setting the paper bag on the table, he flicked a glance at Yuni’s arm draped over my shoulder. Then his gaze slid straight to me, skimming my chest and stomach under the striped T-shirt.
“You’re right. Imagining him buzzing around collecting nectar everywhere... it fits pretty well.”
Pleased to have both him and Juhan sign off on the new nickname, Yuni gave me a big grin, then went to the icebox and pulled out beers, offering one to him and one to me.
When I hear “honeybee” I picture a cute cartoon with a plump butt, which didn’t feel like it fit stiff old me, but since all three of them seemed amused, I quietly took the beer she offered. When I rubbed the condensation on the bottle, the paper label, swollen from the ice water, wrinkled and bunched. For a moment I stared down at the bottle in my hand, struck by the déjà vu that I’d had a moment like this here once before.
“How’s the work? Going smoothly? Is it hard with an amateur model?”
I lifted my head at his joking tone as he tipped back the pale green bottle.
“It’s still in the concept-sketch stage, but... thanks to the model doing well, the image of what I want to draw is clearly fixed, so it’s going... smoothly, I think.”
I smiled toward Juhan across from me, and he, hands tucked in the robe’s front pockets, shrugged with the look of a kid being praised.
“Hm...”
He let out a short, unreadable sound and took a few swallows of beer.
“And I think Juhan and I can wrap up the sessions today. Thank you for carving out the time.”
This week he’d set Juhan’s quitting time to five for my work. I knew Phantom was swamped lately, so I’d first said we should work on weekends, but he’d been very proactive, saying nothing was more important than meeting an artist’s needs.
“Oh, please. If the artist needs it, I’ll lend you Gwon Juhan as a personal secretary.”
The faint stiffness from a moment ago fell away as he joked.
“So now you’re really starting the main work? I’m excited for a Seo Ihyeon piece.”
“I’m getting hungry—let’s talk while we eat the rest. The sun’s starting to set; want to eat on the roof today?”
Sensing the conversation would run long, he snapped his fingers twice in front of Yuni’s eyes to pull focus.
At his suggestion, everyone moved in sync. Juhan went inside first to change, I started putting the art tools away, and he and Yuni disappeared into the entryway saying they’d grab more beers and other food. The bustle after a while put me in a good mood for no reason, and I found myself smiling the whole time I went down to the studio to put the tools back in their places.
Taking the stairs two and three at a stride back up to the garden, I saw him coming out the front with a basket loaded with beers.
“I’ll carry some too.”
I hurried over to take a few bottles to split the load, but he slipped an arm around my neck from behind, like binding me in a choke, and pushed at my back.
“I can carry this much on my own—come on, up we go.”
We’d hugged face-to-face plenty, and when I stood at the induction cooktop to boil ramen he often hugged me from behind... but this kind of touch was probably a first. It felt like the offhand skinship he shared with Juhan, and in a different way than when he expressed deep affection, the warmth of him against my back felt good.
“......”
But the second I thought that, he lowered his face deep over my shoulder and pressed his lips firmly to my cheek.
Even knowing he wouldn’t make a mistake, I glanced around on instinct, and he gave a small laugh by my ear at my reaction.
“They’ve already gone up.”
“Still...”
“Mmm. Do you hate it that much if people find out we’re like this?”
We rounded the corner of the building and moved away from the garden, and the surrounding shade grew thicker. Ahead, the entrance to the concrete stairs up to the roof came into view. I’d never been up there—a little unknown territory.
“It’s not that...”
If we got caught now, I didn’t have the exact words to explain. We were moving at our own pace, in our own direction, but how others would take it was another matter. I was confident I wouldn’t be swayed by their opinions, but it wouldn’t be pleasant if the people close to us didn’t understand.
And... if the relationship became known around us, it would probably be him, not me, who got blamed.
“Just a petty mood, so don’t make that face.”
At the foot of the stairs he kissed my cheek once more. I nodded and smiled at his soft voice.
“By the way...”
When I looked back, he was two steps below, drawing it out casually, eyes narrowed, his expression somehow a ❖ Nоvеl𝚒ght ❖ (Exclusive on Nоvеl𝚒ght) little prim as he looked up at me.
“Which should I be more jealous of—the piggyback or the ‘honeybee’ nickname? What do you think?”
“......”
His serious face actually made me laugh. He lunged to grab my waist, accusing me of trying to laugh it off, and I dodged and hurried up the stairs.
At the top, breathing hard from the sudden burst of energy, a breeze much cooler than in the garden ruffled my hair. Then I had to stop at the new view spread out in front of me.
It was only the roof of a two-story house, but thanks to the lot’s height the view was completely open with nothing catching the eye. The sand and Juhan’s rooftop room had great views too, but this wasn’t the kind of “see all of Seoul at a glance” view that took in the Han River and everything beyond it.
On the western side where the Han flows toward the sea, the west sky where today’s sunset was just beginning to form was especially striking. In my grandfather’s village on the East Sea, you could gorge yourself on full sunrises, but the sunset’s gaudy intensity was always blocked by the mountain range, leaving only the afterglow.
“Nice up here, right? Better view than most rooftop bars, I swear. Director, you bring men you’re trying to seduce up here, don’t you? Right?”
The roof had canopied fabric stretched like a tent for a ceiling, a roomy table and chairs under it like a cabana, and stand lights set here and there, so just like Yuni said it felt like a handsome rooftop bar.
“Do I look like I need to put in that kind of effort to get someone to fall for me?”
“Ugh... so annoying, and I can’t even argue. Even if you sit still, alpha, omega, beta, men and women of all ages throw themselves at you—no wonder you’re short on manners.”
Clicking her tongue, Yuni lifted herself from where she’d been loosely reclining against the rattan back that evoked a resort.
Then, waiting for everyone to sit, she took a big bite of her burger and continued.
“Speaking of manners—be a little nicer to the new hires. Did you know Choi Ji-won cried today?”
He answered a bit perfunctorily while offering me a choice, saying he’d bought several types of burgers.
“I don’t remember being particularly mean. Why would a full-grown professional cry?”
“You called out the way she organized her research notes. I saw her come back from the bathroom after and her eyes were red. I didn’t ask if she cried because I didn’t want to embarrass her, but come on. I know you’re unhappy with her work, but... until just recently she was a student. Can’t you cut her some slack?”
“Even if she’s a college senior, she’s about your age.”
“......”
At that, Yuni forgot how to retort and just chewed her burger for a moment. But after she washed it down with beer, she picked up right away.
“I started working sooner than she did. You can’t think about it just by age. And if a new hire we finally managed to bring on quits during a crunch like this, we’re the ones who lose. If you don’t trust yourself to be nice, you could just keep commuting to the villa until you leave for Chicago.”
“Villa...?”
I hadn’t meant to interrupt, but a question slipped out before I knew it at something I’d never heard of.
All three turned to me, and Juhan, especially, opened his eyes comically wide—as if what surprised him more was that I didn’t know.
“For someone you live with, in name at least, you didn’t hear about that?”
“Let’s not overdo it, Gwon Juhan.”
There was more sternness than usual in his voice, because there’d been a shade of censure toward him in Juhan’s tone and expression.
He turned to me beside him and set his burger down on the tray. I’d chosen a cheese Whopper, he a chicken burger, and both of us had only taken a bite or two.
“With me there, the headcount goes up, the office gets cramped, the new kids watch their every move, and I’m uncomfortable too... so lately I sometimes go in somewhere else and handle paperwork and such. You know—‘that’ duplex villa.”
He had no obligation to share every internal Phantom situation with me, and I had no intent to press him. Turning his body toward me, explaining hard in a way a little removed from his usual calm, he made me nod along.
It wasn’t desperate, but I could feel him trying because he wanted me to trust him. I had no reason not to. I hadn’t suspected anything from the start.
