Chapter 408: An Idea So Crazy, It Has To Work
Laz felt a moment of doubt, but let it go in the next instance. He didn’t have time to worry about what Ichpochtli had actually said.
’And besides which,’ Laz told himself,
’I won’t actually be targeted by lightning... I mean, that would be crazy, right? Most people die when getting hit by lightning, despite what some crazy fiction might say. And for it to intentionally target me? Come on... Who in their right mind would believe that.’
After his monologue, Laz felt better. At least he did until he stood in front of Tezcatlipoca who was flexing his now freed hand.
"Hey.. Uh... ASSHOLE. YEAH YOU!" Laz struggled to get Tezcatlipoca attention who was fixated on his freed arm. Luckily his other was still under the ground, but Laz felt like it would be freed soon too so he knew his time was limited. Not that Laz was safer with one hand as opposed to two, it just meant Tezcatlipoca had less options.
Luckily for Laz, Tezcatlipoca quickly fixated on him.
"I see you offer yourself up to me willingly. I am pleased." Tezcatlipoca said while grinning.
"I’ve only come here to kill you. You think such a worthless bloodline like yours is worthy of devouring me? You are truly a foolish god..."
It was at this point that it hit Laz that he was intentionally pissing off a giant to get it to eat him.
’I’ve made a wrong turn somewhere... I’m just not sure where...’ Laz thought as Tezcatlipoca’s monstrous hand swung out faster than Laz could follow and bound him tight.
"You still think you stand a chance, you foolish mortal? You think the blood of my fore fathers is not good enough? YOU SHALL WITHER IN AGONY WHILE I FEAST ON YOUR FLESH!"
Laz was hopeful that this was all it would take, but he was wrong. Tezcatlipoca squeezed Laz within his hand, causing a crushing force to break upon Laz’s body unlike anything he had ever felt. In just a moment, both his arms and legs were broken from the pressure while Laz fought bitterly to control his screams. Even if his body were to be broken in half, he wouldn’t give Tezcatlipoca the pleasure of hearing him in pain.
"HA HA HA HA HA. SCREAM! SCREAM FOR ME!" Tezcatlipoca yelled in delight while squeezing harder. Luckily for Laz, his solid body wasn’t something Tezcatlipoca could break with just one hand. In the same way one couldn’t break an egg shell by squeezing it in your palm, Tezcatlipoca couldn’t get a good enough grip to really break Laz and he knew it, even though he had felt his arms and legs break under the strain.
"SO BE IT. WITH THIS, I SHALL ABSORB YOUR BLOOD AND BE REBORN ANEW. WORRY NOT FOR I SHALL USE YOUR POWER TO REIGN OVER THIS WORLD IN A WAY YOU NEVER COULD!"
And with those words, Tezcatlipoca tossed Laz into his mouth and swallowed. As soon as he felt Laz’s broken body descend down his throat and into his stomach, Tezcatlipoca roared out in success. As for why he didn’t chew him up? Well, Tezcatlipoca was afraid some of the blood would drip out and that would certainly be a waste.
With that done, Tezcatlipoca began reaching for the stakes in his head with his free hand. After removing those, the seal on his powers would disappear and he could free his other hand then focus on digesting and absorbing Laz,
Nora, Celes and Gretchen had just stopped at the door of a van when they turned and look, seeing Laz getting eaten by Tezcatlipoca. Celes and Nora cried out and made to run back to the battle field before Gretchen jumped into their paths.
"HE DID THIS FOR US! ARE YOU GOING TO WASTE THE CHANCE HE GAVE YOU AND RUN TO YOUR DEATHS?" She yelled, trying to get through to them. Before they could even answer, Joan and Gia jumped out, wrapped their massive forms around Nora and Celes and dragged them into the van. Gretchen jumped in as well, closing the massive door on the conversion van before yelling for the driver to take off. The four busses behind them also started their engines and began running, keeping a proximity to the leading van.
Just as they were about to pass the chain link fence that marked the boundaries of the property, lights of all sorts turned on and shone on them, blinding them. Once Gretchen regained her sight, she saw dozens of armored vehicles and men with guns were blocking the road. Just as Gretchen was about to order the driver to plow through, four attack helicopters took to the skies, their impressive armaments aimed right at the van and busses.
"FUCK IT. TURN AROUND AND HEAD BACK IN," Gretchen yelled as the van made a sudden U-turn, followed by the busses. Just as the last bus turned, the waiting army also began to advance along the road or just beside it, plowing down the fence in it’s passing.
Seeing the massive giant up close, the captain of the convo didn’t hesitate to radio in,
"WE NEED BACK UP!" He yelled before giving the go ahead to unleash hell.
All at once, the night sky was filled with explosions and gun fire as modern weapons engaged with an ancient deity.
Of course this wasn’t something Laz knew as he was sucked down the body of this god and found himself surrounded by fleshy walls while his body was half submerged in gastric fluids.
"This is fucking gross," Laz said to no one as he tried to prop himself up. His arms started to have feeling back as his black tree tattoo started glowing, releasing wave after wave of healing energy.
When Laz could finally move his arms again, he reached into his pouch and pulled out a kayak he had stashed away in case he was ever thrown into a water environment.
"Never thought I would use this for something like this," Laz said, looking around. The stomach of this ancient god seemed bigger on the inside that it should have been, In fact, as his eyes adjusted to the lack of light, he noticed that he couldn’t actually see the side walls of the stomach he was currently trapped in.
Laz quickly took off the strips of clothing that still clung to his body and summoned some strength to ignite his black flame, burning away the remnants of the acid still clinging to his skin. While gastric acids shouldn’t be corrosive enough to burn away his clothing, this was obviously not a problem for a god’s digestive system.
Laz then searched around and brought out the toughest clothing he could find; leather pants, leather work boots, leather gloves and a leather jacket that he zipped up over a normal, black tee shirt.
’While this might not make a difference, at least it’s better than normal cotton...’ Laz thought to himself before sitting back down in the kayak. He didn’t know how resistant this would be to the acid, but the only other thing he had on him was an inflatable life raft which would be far worse.
"Assuming Ichpochtli was watching, I would guess things should start happening any minute now..."
Just as Laz said this to himself, he felt a strong force begin pressing down from above. At first, Laz thought that Tezcatlipoca was trying something but soon that thought vanished as the kayak he was sitting in along with the slimy layer of gastric juices underneath him started shaking with a fury.
Outside, a massive hand hit the ground again, causing the huge wall of dirt and stone to grow even larger. As soon as Tezcatlipoca was attacked, he had summoned this wall to ward off the gun fire as he stared at these attackers with a hint of concern. While his body wouldn’t be injured by any of these weapons, they would prove to be distracting as he focused on freeing himself from the stakes.
As the bombardment on the stone and dirt defensive wall grew stronger, Tezcatlipoca had grabbed the first stake and began pulling, only to feel an immense pain from his soul as he attempted to yank it free. It didn’t move right away but while gritting his teeth, Tezcatlipoca shook it a bit to loosen it. Just as he was about to pull it free, dark and foreboding clothes began covering the night sky. Looking up, Tezcatlipoca had a dire feeling in the pit of his stomach that something wasn’t right.
It wasn’t until the first bolt of lightning hit him that Tezcatlipoca understood.
"That bastard..." Tezcatlipoca called out as the storm grew more and more angry. This time, dozens of shockingly red bolts of lightning hit Tezcatlipoca one after another with an attack power strong enough to kill a god.
Tezcatlipoca took the blows head on while still trying to wrestle the stake loose. Just as he thought he would get it, several more blue bolts of lightning came for him, making Tezcatlipoca jump in surprise.
"Just what kind of trial is this?" Tezcatlipoca yelled out as he tried his best to dodge the blasts.
Just as he had finished avoiding those, a feeling of death suddenly washed over him and he looked up.
"BY THE GRACE OF THE HEAVENS. Do you wish us all dead or something?" Tezcatlipoca called when he saw just what was coming next.
