Chapter 103: 103-Wise advice
"What about you? What’s the first thing that you are going to do when this is all over?"
Nytherael didn’t need to think it over. In the step he took to reunite with Aeltharion and Sseraphis, he had already thought about the one thing he desperately wanted to once they were back on good terms.
"I want to buy a small island and build a beautiful house by the beach for us," he said, his eyes lighting up as he pictured the house he wanted in his head.
Standing by the beach, sand under his feet in light wear, flowers in his hair and water in the distance at sunset. That sounded like the perfect way to end his day.
The setting would be perfect for relaxing and living a life that’s just theirs without the intrusion of the rest of the world. In that life, they wouldn’t be public figures anymore, no beast would know what they do and when they do it, that is to keep evil envious people from casting an evil eye on their happiness.
He envisioned a private life for them. Where happiness was welcomed, but hatred had no room.
Sseraphis broke free from his arms, took a few steps forward, held the layers of his robes, and twirled as he recalled Nytherael doing in that memory by the rain.
"I can already picture you dancing on the sand," he sounded heartily. "And the sunset falling on yout golden undertone skin, I think youll look sublime,"he waved his eyebrows up and down, enjoying the scene he pictured in his head.
"Imagine waking up to the sea breeze and homemade breakfast in bed," Nytherael said, joining him in the dance. He followed Sseraphis’ steps and matched the rhythm even though their wasn’t any music playing.
"And I could create a scent that perfect for our new life," Sseraphis let out, taken by the simple idea of a life far away from the rest of the world. "And no other beasts would be welcomed on our island. It’ll be just us..." he twirled so hard he started to see three of Nytherael.
Nytherael had to pause a watch him let loose. His dancing was killing the grass under his feet, but seeing him so happy and free after a long time was worth the grass’ sacrifice.
"Yes, except for family... no other beast will be welcomed."
As he watched Sseraphis dance, he missed Aeltharion’s presence. The dragon was not the best dancer in the world or in most cases, but he always had the ability to be the heart of every dance they shared.
The song playing in his heart that he imagined Sseraphis dancing too felt incomplete without their other half.
’I wish there was a way to save the future we dream of,’ the idea of never seeing that peaceful life by the beach was heartbreaking for him to bear.
"And I’ll make our bedding to match the theme of our new home... all sunset and ocean themed," Sseraphis continued daydreaming.
Nytherael smiled. He hoped they lived long enough to see that dream come to life. It was his biggest wish at present. For now, he was content with being the strength of the family, the glue that keeps them together and keeps their hope alive.
He breathed out. Slowly sliding down to sit on the ground and catch his breath while Sseraphis got rid of his stress by getting lost in his thoughts and moving his body.
Sseraphis slowed down. He was seeing six of everything around him, and he felt like he was floating. "What about Ael? What do you see him doing in our new home?"
"Him?"
What else? Nytherael pictured Aeltharion doing what the male knew best, and that is to take care of them. Only this time, he’d help better than he had in the past.
He no longer wished to play the spoilt spouse. That role made him feel easily replacable once everything went downhill.
Aeltharion remained by Sseraphis’ side, showing up for him constantly as he had done for all of them every time, and Sseraphis kept Aeltharion alive and happy by being his usual self while he? They didn’t even feel his absence. In fact, they learnt to love each other without him.
That is the only truth he learnt during their separation that he badly wanted to undo. He couldn’t continue to be a part of them. They could easily forget because his presence isn’t as memorable as the roles the others played.
"Do you think I’m replaceable?" He found himself asking.
Sseraphis turned around. He caught sight of six dejected Nytheraels on the ground and could hardly make out which one was the real him. He pointed at a random one. Unfortunately, he ended up pointing at the empty spot next to Nytherael.
Nytherael shook his head and held back a laugh. He was tempted to correct Sseraphis and redirect his finger, but he didn’t.
"Don’t speak like that... we all have roles thar are unique just to us," Sseraphis said. He blinked, trying to get rid of the lucid in his visage. "I know that it might feel like you are easily replaced when you don’t see what value you add to others, but... Nytherael, we don’t exist to add value to others... we exist to live, and as long as we do that to our fullest, then we are already useful in a way that no one else can match," he let out.
Nytherael looked up. He was surprised that such a wise response came from his lover. The Sseraphis before him sounded more mature than the one he’d left behind a year and a half ago.
"... I want to live my fullest for you and Aeltharion."
"That’s a wrong way to go about things, dear," Sseraphis disagreed with his plan.
"Oh, how come?"
"It’s best to live to your fullest for yourself and then find a way for us to exist within your realm of happiness," Sseraphis advised. "If you chose to live just for us, what if fate decided to separate us? Do you mean to say that you’ll no longer know how to live?"
"I’ll merely exist," Nytherael responded without blinking. "I’m more than certain that I’ll search for you and Aeltharion in every dragon and snake I meet, and I’ll fail because they won’t be you... life won’t be worth living anymore."
Sseraphis was short of words to argue with him. At that moment, he desperately yearned for his memories to find out what was so special about him that life wouldn’t be worth living without him in it.
He didn’t understand what Nytherael and Aeltharion might’ve seen in him for them to make him a permanent part of their lives. That thing that his parents failed to see that they decided he wasn’t worth raising.
"I’ll take your word for it, but I’ll still encourage you to live for yourself first," he said. ’That way, it will hurt less when you are abandoned by those who are supposed to be there for you.’
"Won’t it be lonely to live just for me?"
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