Chapter 68: Purrs and Growls
- DEX -
When Raya disappears behind the bathroom door, I let out a heavy breath and stare at my bed, raking a hand over my face when images automatically arise about what we could do there. I know exactly how I would kiss her and how she would taste—how perfectly she fits against me and the soft reassurance of her body when it’s close.
How the hell am I going to get through this night without touching her when the feral growl of possession is steadily growing again in my mind?
Mine.
That’s all I can think. It’s almost like the word trembles against my bones. That’s how real the voice is—how real my own voice is—and how deeply it’s embedded into the fabric of my being.
"Shit," I whisper to myself, pacing the room, trying to get that instinct to diminish.
God, I have never felt anything even close to this before. Even if Raya and I weren’t sharing dreams, there is nothing to explain this feeling other than a connection with her on the deepest level. It’s like our souls know each other. So how am I supposed to take this slow when she is familiar and comfortable and so fucking adorable in every way?
The fact Raya even entertained for a second that she may have been responsible for my actions in those dreams is both sweet and hilarious all at the same time. Did she not hear me tell her she was breathtaking? Does she just not believe it? Clearly she hasn’t been treasured and adored and protected like she should be, and it makes me want to do all of those things for her even more—to show her the expectations that she should have in a man. Not that she needs to worry about expecting them from anyone else now.
God, what am I saying?
I groan again and pull my shirt off, throwing it into the laundry basket a little harder than necessary before finding a regular t-shirt to wear to bed. But those thoughts continue—the insistence that I am the only one she ever needs to rely on again, the only one who ever gets to see her or touch her like that again. A tremble runs the length of me, and for the briefest moment I imagine shaking off this skin and becoming the powerful animal I imagine when I run—the one that takes over all the worries and thoughts and just hums with movement and instinct, leaving the rational world behind.
These are exactly the thoughts I shouldn’t be having right now. Take it slow. Treasure her. Make her feel safe. An impulsive, hungry animal is the last thing that would make her feel safe.
Moira Rose makes a trilling sound from the very center of the bed like I have caught her attention, and she runs over to me when I sit on the edge to change into shorts. I scratch behind her ears, chuckling when I realize how she has proven me wrong. Raya gets comfort from her, doesn’t she?
"But you do the purring thing. I don’t," I tell her, and she is quite unconcerned, turning to rub the whole length of her side against my arm.
A soft, feminine purr comes from behind me, and I turn to see Raya standing there making the sound. She smiles. "You can’t purr?" She does the innocent demonstration again, and I swear my dick twitches to attention. This is not a good start to sharing a bed with her and keeping my hands to myself.
Raya crawls onto the bed, sitting on one leg as Moira goes trotting over making her little friendly noises. Raya greets her in return with a soft trilling sound. I’m going to need her to stop, because it’s sending little cascades of sensation to all the wrong places.
"I can teach you," Raya says, her eyes lifting to mine. "You just rest your tongue against the roof of your mouth and let it kind of vibrate when you breathe out." She does it again, this time with our eyes locked, and I have to bite back a groan. Does she not realize that she’s seducing me right now?
Moira purrs in return and rubs against her owner, making Raya giggle.
"I can growl, but the purring I’ll have to practice," I chuckle lightly, getting up. "Why don’t you lay on this side?"
"You can growl?" Her expression changes from playful and amused to one of startled interest.
I nod and walk around to where she’s sitting, and she crawls over to the other side. I imagine it will make her more comfortable if I am the one sleeping by the door.
"Can I hear it?" Raya asks so quietly it’s almost a whisper.
"The growl?" One side of my lips turns up, and she nods. "Oh, I’m not sure that’s a good idea," I chuckle and lift the covers up before getting in.
"Why?" She laughs softly and bites her lip, and this is really a bad start to sharing a bed with her.
"I don’t want to scare you."
"You got to hear my purr," she insists, a smile growing. "It’s only fair. And you couldn’t scare me."
"You don’t think so?" I smirk, happy to hear it but also curious as to how true it is. She shakes her head a little. "Alright," I chuckle. "Just remember that I warned you."
—————
- RAYA -
Dex rubs his beard, fighting a smile as he prepares to do this growl for me. The thing that maybe he doesn’t realize or is forgetting is that I’ve heard his growl before. In fact, his growl is what followed me into the waking world and out of dreams the one morning when I was panicking, desperately wondering what I was going to do if writing the dreams down was no longer working to keep them out of my waking mind.
Dex’s growl starts like a slow, warning putter in his throat before growing into a very convincing rumble, and it sets all of my hairs on end. I swallow roughly, instantly recognizing it. But this time I’m hearing it in person.
"See," his eyebrows shoot up. "You look scared." He smiles and adjusts himself under the covers, laying on his side with his head propped on one hand. "Don’t worry, I won’t gobble you up in your sleep."
I want to tell him that he absolutely can gobble me up—that’s not a problem. "I’m not scared," I say instead. "I’ve heard it before. I just wanted to see if it sounds the same in real life."
He stares at me for a moment—fire igniting in his eyes—before he squeezes them shut and drops back on the pillow with a soft groan. I laugh softly and lie down, staring at Dex’s ceiling as Moira Rose comes to sniff my face.
"Did you always like photography?" I ask, attempting to change the subject from growling and purring.
I asked God for innocent dreams and then proceeded to walk out of the bathroom purring before convincing Dex to demonstrate his growl for me. Whatever dreams await me at this point, I take full responsibility for them.
When Dex doesn’t immediately answer, I turn to see him staring at the ceiling too with one arm curled behind his head. His arms are so nice. They’re one of my favorite parts of him along with... literally every other part.
I tear my eyes away, trying to ignore the mad fluttering in my chest that only increases every time I look at him. He’s calming and terribly uncalming at the same time.
"My first camera was a Holga," he says suddenly, and that depth of his voice is so familiar and perfect. I could fall asleep listening to it. "I was maybe five or six. The Holga is a little cheap plastic camera. The mystery is lost with digital photography, which is good when you’re taking professional images for an ad campaign," he chuckles. "You want to know what the images look like right away so you can immediately adjust settings as needed. But the mystery of film, especially with a little unpredictable camera like the Holga with light leaks and accidental double exposures... that’s something I miss. It’s trading the control and instant gratification of digital for the serendipity and mystery of film."
I hum, appreciating the comparison. "Do you ever shoot with film anymore?"
"No," he chuckles again. "There’s no reason."
"But you miss it. Isn’t that a reason?" I ask, and Dex turns to look at me. "Maybe there are some pictures you just need to take for yourself."
We stare at each other for a few moments, and his brown eyes sweep over my face.
"Can I ask you a question?" He ventures.
"Of course."
"I’ve met your dad, and he’s great. I was just wondering about your mom."
"Oh," I force myself to smile, but it wilts like it always does when my mother is brought up. "She left after Rory was born, and we..." I shrug and sigh, feeling that particular pointless ache again that never really goes away no matter how much time has gone by or how young we were when she left. "We just... never heard from her again."
Dex’s brows furrow.
"My nana raised us mostly. Dad was really distant most of our childhood. He drank a lot. I think we reminded him of her," I shrug. "But Nana was great."
I automatically reach up and find the locket to remind myself it’s there. She’s still there.
"She died the summer I was supposed to go off to college, and I didn’t go. I took two years off. I just... couldn’t find the desire or motivation. Rory completed her degree before me, and now she acts like the older sister," I chuckle.
"I’m sorry, Raya," Dex says softly.
"That’s life, though." My eyebrows pinch as I stare at Moira who is now lying between us. "If we allow ourselves to love people, we open ourselves up to pain. But it’s worth it." I smile and rub my cat’s small paw, and her eyes open lazily before closing again. "There’s more beauty than pain, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything."
