Chapter 49: I’ll Take Both
- RAYA -
"Wh-what?" I ask on a shocked breath, clutching the cup in my hands.
His eyes grow softer rather than narrowed or cutting or anything else that might mean he is accusing me of something. And then he drops them again to the paper on the floor and sets his coffee to the side to pick up the shreds while I stare at the air he was just occupying, scrambling internally to catch up with how Dex has any idea about either of those things.
Am I that transparent? Is this all just very obvious to everyone and I’m the only one believing there are secrets that I possess?
"These are some really good ideas for Moxie," he calls up to me from the floor and then stands with the scraps in his hands. "Are you sure you wish to throw them away?"
I blink up at him and realize there are tears in my eyes only then, but they don’t fall. They just stay hovering on the brim and making my sight swim with Dex Mobius in it.
"They just remind me of what happened," I say, lip quivering before I can get it to stop and then swallowing hard. "Did you read my journal, Dex?"
"I was bored in the waiting room. I apologize," he gives me a crooked smile and then walks to toss them in the garbage. "But it was impressive. I’m glad I did. Now I have an idea about what projects to set you up with."
"That’s not the one I mean," I say with an edge in my voice. "You were in my room."
He turns with a furrowed brow. "Are you asking if I read a journal in your bedroom?"
"Yes." I clear my throat, trying to prepare myself for the fact that this beautiful man might know every single detail of every single dream that I’ve had about him over the course of almost three weeks before he showed up.
"No, Raya." He shakes his head, coming back to sit by me. "I didn’t. You asked me about dreams and..." His voice cuts off, and he searches the floor again, but this time there are no scraps of paper to collect. "And I had another one. It was... eerily real. The second one in more than four years. When you asked me, it was like you expected me to say yes. And now I am," he looks up, searching me now. "And I thought that maybe you might be having them, too."
I swallow hard, my thoughts turning to earlier this morning when I woke from one of those very dreams. How could he have put that together from just an innocent question about if he had been dreaming of me? Okay, maybe it wasn’t so innocent... or so normal. It’s not something you would ask anyone you just met, but he kept saying how familiar I seem...
"You had another dream?" My brows pinch. Is it possible that I’m not in this strange hysterical phenomenon alone anymore?
"You wished for me to, remember?" He chuckles and rubs his beard, and my gaze follows, knowing exactly how that beard feels on my skin... knowing exactly how every part of him feels on my skin. And my heart is betraying me, the beeping growing faster.
"Only because you said it was a very good thing you were dreaming," I remind him.
"Perhaps it would be if they weren’t so real," he chuckles again, and now he can’t seem to meet my eyes. Holy shit, he’s dreaming of me. He’s dreaming of me, isn’t he? It finally hits me that he basically just admitted it. How is that possible? That can’t be possible.
"Is that why you’re here? Is that why you’re helping me?" I ask, brows arching in fear that I wasn’t right about him after all. Perhaps he is just trying to get some. Perhaps he is like his brother after all.
"No," he shakes his head quickly. "Of course not. It has nothing to do with it. It’s just..." he groans and buries his face in his hands. "I’m sorry. This is not a good conversation to have right now. I didn’t intend to bring it up. Let’s talk about my brother instead."
"What about him?" I ask, feeling now that I’m the one scrambling to catch up instead of it being the other way around.
"Did he hurt you, Raya?" His eyes lift to mine, caring and worried and also with a hint of latent danger that appears ready to unleash if I were only to say the word.
I bite my lip and think of Lawson dangling my nana’s locket just beyond my reach. He hasn’t hurt me. But I have no doubt that he has hurt others. He is cruel and cunning, and what’s terrifying is that I never saw even a glimpse of it before. I was ready to fall right into his bed until Dex showed up and Lawson decided he had another use for me instead.
Dex pushes out of the chair, the wild in his eyes unraveling. "He did, didn’t he?"
"No," I say quickly. "No, he... he hasn’t hurt me. He wishes to hurt you, and he’s hoping that I will help him. But I never... I never intended to. And that is why I told you that I have to quit. And that is why you should not invite me to your guest house. That is the important thing I wanted to tell you. I wanted you to know before it’s too late. You have done so much for me already, and I don’t want you to end up regretting it."
I haven’t immediately convinced him that Lawson hasn’t actually hurt me, because I can see the flash of anger that’s still there. It has taken the gentle puppy-like features of his eyes and pulled them taut like he’s imagining tearing Lawson to shreds. Or maybe he just wishes to even more now that he’s heard the truth.
"He wants me to get close to you and give him information," I say quietly. "I was never going to do it."
"That’s why he came to visit you yesterday?" He asks, his voice surprisingly gentle compared to his expression, but the anger is not directed at me.
When I nod, Dex curses under his breath and turns to face the window with its beautiful morning light that just seemed so peaceful playing over his face. And then he places his hands on his hips, his head dropping like he’s bracing for patience, and I get to see the clear definition of his back muscles under his shirt. It shouldn’t be so distracting given the circumstances, but my mouth drops open just the slightest amount, eyes trailing the mounds of strength that I have had the pleasure of feeling in my dreams that are now right here... right before my eyes in real life. And that familiar desire that I try so hard to bar from my waking thoughts ignites like a fierce, bright fire in my belly.
When Dex turns back around to face me, I know my cheeks are flushed. My eyes dart away, not able to meet his and allow him the full view of what’s going on in my mind right now.
"I’m sorry," he groans, coming back to sit in the chair and leaning forward. "It seems he only cares about himself. I knew that, I just... I didn’t realize he would try to use a traumatic event like this to his benefit. I guess he is truly desperate. You shouldn’t be in the middle of it, and yet somehow I have made that even more so the case by wishing to protect you."
There is so much sincerity in his words that I feel my heart flutter and am thankful when there is not a corresponding sound on the monitor to draw attention to it. But why would Dex wish to protect me?
"It’s my fault for agreeing to do a favor for him before knowing what all it entailed," I say, still not looking at him. "And then when I met you..."
"He must have told you I was horrible for the company," he chuckles bitterly. "There was a time when we were close..." He trails off. "Anyway, don’t worry about it." He places a hand on my leg and then quickly pulls it away and stands again.
When I finally get the nerve to look at him, the anger is gone and the gentleness is back. He reaches for the bag on the table.
"Are you hungry?"
I am, but I don’t know how to just... eat after all that was just shared.
"You still want to... help me? You still want me in your guest house?"
"Of course," he says, his brows pinching as he removes the food that he brought and lays it out. "I’m not worried about Lawson, and you shouldn’t be either. He’s surprised that he’s actually being faced with repercussions from his actions. He’s desperate. There is nothing that he can do to me, Raya."
The way Dex says that with such conviction is comforting, I’m not going to lie. It felt like this was a huge secret that I was keeping, and now that Dex is aware of it, a weight has lifted off of my chest.
"And there is no reason to quit because of it. Unless you want to of course. That’s up to you. But don’t let Lawson be the one to push you out. It won’t be long before my brother is no longer with the company." A muscle feathers in his jaw while he spreads cream cheese on a bagel, and my stomach takes the opportunity to growl so loud, you would think I hadn’t eaten in days.
Dex grins and sticks his thumb in his mouth, removing the cream that he got on it and glancing at me as he does. If my face wasn’t flushed before, it sure is now.
"Do you want some of this?" He asks, an eyebrow arching in amusement. And when I don’t immediately answer, there’s a hint of something more—a glimmer in his eyes, the subtle curve of his lips—and I’m not entirely sure if he’s asking about the breakfast or about himself. But I’ll take both.
