Chapter 609: I will never let it happen again
Telling Sir Forsythe everything was emotional. Cass didn’t leave anything out, even if he had already disclosed some of it to him over mail. He just felt that a retelling of everything that happened was important for him to hear. Even if he was worried that Sir Forsythe was going to potentially reject him.
He wasn’t certain, but he was still scared.
By the time he was finished speaking, Sir Forsythe had ended up on the couch across from Gideon and Edgar, with Cass at his side. He looked shocked, steamrolled, actually, and he looked like he had aged a significant amount in the hours that it felt like Cass had been speaking.
Cass also felt like he had aged, but this needed to be said. While he trust Sir Forsythe, he didn’t want to force him to continue working for him if he didn’t want to. He wasn’t really Cassian anymore, and that was who Sir Forsythe had been working for this whole time. He also wasn’t not Cassian, but he worried more about the first part, not the second.
Sir Forsythe had let Cass speak with very little questioning. Cass felt like he had vomited his explanation at him, and when Cass glanced outside, night was beginning to fall. Sir Forsythe didn’t even seem to notice.
Usually, his quietness didn’t bother Cass, but in this moment? After he had spilled the truth? All of it? Cass was a little fidgety, worried that the man was going to turn against him by saying that this was all too much, Cass had gone too far, or that he wanted to retire.
He was not expecting the man to turn towards him and hug him tightly. Cass had hugged him twice already, so he should have prepared himself for this. He hadn’t, however, nor had the others. He felt how the energy in the room shifted slightly as Sir Forsythe exhaled harshly, holding Cass.
"I knew something was strange," Sir Forsythe began, "I could tell because you were testing me again so soon. You’d usually keep your tests to a regimented schedule. Of course, those who were planning to harm you never lasted long enough to notice, so I’m sure I was the only one who did." Sir Forsythe said with a bit of humour. "I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me most. I’m sorry that I couldn’t...be a comfort when you needed it. That this had to even happen." Sir Forsythe was taking it all in on his own. He was trying to place it all on his shoulders and that made Cass tighten his grip on him.
"It’s okay." Cass told him, because it was. Cass wasn’t about to hurt him and tell him that Cassian hadn’t expected anything from him. Not because he didn’t trust Sir Forsythe, since it was clear that Cassian did, just...Cassian had understood his position. Cass could feel it. He understood his position.
He’d been a young knight at the time, fresh to the Blackburn family. He had seen the horrors of the house, seen his master get kicked out for something he barely had any choice in, and then had seen how everyone had treated Cassian. A child.
What the hell could have Sir Forsythe have done?
He did the best that he could, had wiggled his way in and had then prevented further damage to Cassian. Cassian hadn’t been stupid. He knew that Sir Forsythe used harsh words and a loud voice to make it seem like he had harmed Cassian. Those were some of the memories that Cassian had continued to keep from Cass, whether it was from embarrassment or to protect Sir Forsythe, it was in the past now.
Cass saw them, felt them, and hugged the knight tighter.
"It’s really okay, Sir Forsythe. You did what you could in a super shitty situation. I never blamed you for that. I was actually always grateful for it. Your eyes when you looked at me were never the same as the others." It was a small thing, but it had meant everything to him at the time. When he had been a small, scared child.
Seeing that someone saw him, someone cared even if they raised their voice at him. That had been worth something to Cassian, and it was why he had taken Sir Forsythe with him from the Blackburn manor even if he wasn’t sure if the man was going to turn on him in the end.
"I’m sorry I didn’t get to tell you this sooner." Cass squeezed him. "Thank you. Thank you for not giving up on me, and I’m sorry I couldn’t always keep you at my side."
"Don’t apologise." Sir Forsythe’s voice was rough with emotion. "Please, my Lord. Don’t apologise, and don’t thank me either. You were just a child and I-" Sir Forsythe shuddered. "I can’t believe that after it all, I wasn’t able to protect you." That part broke Cass.
"You did." Cass protested, pulling back so that he could stare into Sir Forsythe’s eyes, but the man was resolute. He shook his head.
"No, I didn’t, if this was a choice you had to make. If this was a choice you didn’t have a choice in making. The gods forced you to merge souls with another being, my Lord, and as much as I acknowledge that now you are the same person, that is not much of a choice at all. I failed you if the gods thought this was the only way to save you. Tell me, what future are you preventing from happening if this is what they decided was best?" Sir Forsythe was the first person to ask. Truly ask, and it was with tears rolling down his face, his face filled with sorrow, but his eyes not leaving Cass’.
Cass swallowed thickly.
"My death." Cass whispered. "And betrayal. I was going to try to save myself at the cost of others, but it wouldn’t have done anything in the first place. I would have died at the hands of people that I wanted to care for me." Cass told him and Sir Forsythe looked devastated. So did everyone else in the room, but Cass didn’t notice. Sir Forsythe was his focus right now.
The man crumpled, his expression lost.
"I truly failed then." He muttered and Cass reached for him, squeezing his arm at the elbow.
"No, Sir Forsythe, you didn’t. Don’t think like that. It wasn’t you who drove me to that choice. I’m certain I needed your help to do it, so please believe that I trusted you to the very end." Cass told him, wanting to comfort him but from the laugh that came from him, he didn’t think that he did.
"My Lord, telling me that you trusted me to lead you to your death isn’t exactly comforting." He said dryly and Cass winced.
"That wasn’t..." Cass trailed off. "I didn’t think I would die. I was trying to cure myself of my demonic blood. Trying to stop the damn curse that my mother gave me. Trying to prove I wasn’t what everything thought I was. I don’t know if I had a Sam at my side, I know I didn’t have a Byron, but you were there, Sir Forsythe. Always. So please, don’t beat yourself up like this. It’s upsetting. I thought you were going to tell me that you couldn’t stay at my side, not get upset because of what happened." Cass told him and that seemed to upset him more.
"Why would I-" He cut himself off, huffing. He raised his hand and pressed the palm of his hand into his eyes, rubbing. "No, forgive me for raising my voice. That’s...entirely expected, at this point." He mumbled. Cass gave him a moment, letting him take some time to calm down before he sighed. It looked like he deflated before he raised his head, blinking a few times before he turned his aged gaze to Cass. "My Lord, if you dismiss me, I won’t leave." His words had Cass pausing.
"Why would I dismiss you?" Cass asked him, confused, and Sir Forsythe’s jaw hardened.
"It’s a warning. I’m not leaving. I’m pretty much the only human family you have, and I will be damned if the future you saw happens. I will do everything within my power to prevent it, even die. If you argue, too bad. I will not let it happen. You deserve happiness." Cass felt his jaw drop in the face of Sir Forsythe’s righteous anger. Someone sobbed, but Cass was too shocked to be able to tell who.
Sir Forsythe’s gaze could pierce a god, Cass was sure, and he felt a small shiver run down his spine. He was sure of it, not hesitation, and that? That was very, very powerful.
Cass could almost see it, the future where Cassian didn’t know the truth, where no one knew the truth. Where he desperately wanted to make a different choice, wanted to not betray people who he wanted to trust him, wanted to love him.
But he still had to make the choice because of the distrust and anger and fear, and there was Sir Forsythe. A man, a knight, who stood by Cassian’s side.
No hesitation, no fear. Cass was almost sure that while it wasn’t mentioned, he was there with him the entire time. He wouldn’t leave Cassian’s side after Cassian trusted him with a truth like this, and fuck, that did something to him.
Cass reached for Sir Forsythe, pulling him close in a tight hug. He didn’t fight him, hugging Cass back. It was a tense moment, emotions high as Cass gave a soft laugh.
"You’re right, Sir Forsythe. You’re my only human family left." Cass mumbled. "That means that there is no way I am going to march you into your own death. Ever. So get that foolish idea out of your mind, you oaf." Cass told him. Sir Forsythe pulled back, ready to argue, but shut his mouth when he saw the emotion in Cass’ eyes.
His lips firmed into a thin line, his gaze narrowing, but his hands? Those that were wrapped around his shoulders? They shook ever so slightly.
"You will not be going alone." He told him fiercely, and Cass smiled.
"I won’t be doing it at all, Sir Forsythe. I already know it doesn’t work, so I’m just making sure that it goes smoothly from this point on. Living is the biggest fuck you I can give to my mother and her damn demon lord boyfriend now." Sam choked.
"Boyfriend?!" He gasped and Cass turned a smile towards him.
"Isn’t that what he is? I’m not sure what their relationship is, but that’s all I can consider it at the moment. I want to belittle it because that makes me feel better." Cass told him when he saw Sam scramble to find the real answer. As soon as Cass said that, he shut his lips and nodded.
"O-Of course, my Lord." He agreed. Gideon shifted, getting to his feet before coming over and placing his hand on Sir Forsythe’s shoulder. The older man stiffened.
"While I am sure that I am the last person that you want to hear this from," Gideon began, "I swear, on my own and on the contract that Cass asked me to sign, that I also will not let that future come to pass. Cass is Cass, whether he has two souls or one. Whether he is chosen by the gods or not. At this point I just want to protect him and keep someone who is so precious to all of us alive." Gideon exhaled slowly. "I hope that in the time that we spend around each other, you will give me a chance to show that I have truly changed." Gideon said carefully.
Sir Forsythe stared at him, his eyes cold, before he sighed.
"Well, I have no true say in who my Lord keeps at his side, Sir Gideon, so rest assured that you have at least that much from me." Not a winning endorsement, but Gideon took it on the chin. He nodded, a light behind his eyes.
"Understood." He agreed easily. Sir Forsythe sighed.
"Is it alright, my lord, if I take a moment to myself? This is all rather...a lot." He tried to say it elegantly, but he couldn’t in the end. Cass squeezed his shoulder.
"Of course. Take your time. In fact, take the night. We’ll have dinner and speak more of this tomorrow when everyone has a clear head. I’ll speak to Ava’s family before the night ends but that’s it." Cass told the room and while Sir Forsythe frowned, he seemed relieved. Cass was just grateful that he wasn’t leaving or too upset.
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