Chapter 608: Doubts and regrets are for the ones who make it out
"Byron, are we safe to have conversations in here?" Cass asked after he had gotten over his excitement and relief being back home. He had composed himself and while he wasn’t sitting in his big, comfy chair, he was leaning against the edge of the desk.
He was having problems sitting in the chair because he kept remembering how it felt to sit in Lucian’s lap while behind the desk.
Damn it, he’d just come out of a heat it felt like, but the creeping fingers of the next one was letting him know that he was going to be on this kind of schedule for the rest of his life. Or, maybe? He wasn’t exactly sure what was going on, just that it had been something that Cassian had been dealing with his whole life.
Fuck.
Byron sniffed, loudly, his head raising slightly as he looked around, moving around as he sniffed before locking the door and standing by it.
"We should be safe, my Lord. I don’t smell anything fresh, and there is no hint of anything magical outside of ourselves in the room with us." Byron told him and Cass nodded. Good thing listening devices in this world relied on magic.
Cass shuddered. He wouldn’t even consider thinking about making anything for commercial sale that went against that because it would obviously be used against himself. He didn’t need to worry about that, plus he didn’t have the kind of knowledge or ability to harness electricity in this world.
He wasn’t that kind of smart.
Gideon sat down on the loveseat with Edgar, both turned towards Cass. Sir Forsythe stood not in the middle of the room but where he had normally stood while on guard duty. Sam was over by his little tea station. It was clear he wanted to do something so Cass conjured up some water for the man to work with. Sam beamed.
Sir Forsythe watched Cass use magic with ease but said nothing. Cass had been getting used to magic around him for a while so he was probably prepared for Cass’ abilities to pick up.
"I have a lot to tell you." Cass told him and Sir Forsythe turned his gaze back to Cass. He nodded.
"I figured as much. Ailia would only tell me so much because our letters could be interfered with and read. She was cautious, but gave me updates." Cass nodded. Ailia wasn’t an idiot, she was just a good friend and...cousin. Cass smiled softly at the reminder.
"I guess the easiest one to explain is that Lucian is away on his shed. He’ll back after my next heat in about a week’s time, if not sooner on my part." Edgar’s expression sharpened.
"They haven’t been sticking to your old pattern, Cass." Edgar pointed out and Cass’ jaw tightened. He had picked up on that too.
"They’ve been getting earlier." Cass agreed and Sam and Sir Forsythe glanced at Cass, worried.
"Is that something to be worried about?" Sir Forsythe asked and Cass could only shrug.
"I don’t know." Cass admitted, before he sighed. "I also...spoke to the demon king." Cass told him. Sir Forsythe tensed.
"Why would you do something so dangerous? He’s nothing but bad news, my Lord." He didn’t raise the volume of his voice but it was clear he was upset. Cass twitched. That hurt more than any scolding he’d had from anyone in his past life outside of his sister.
"I agree, but I also needed some answers at the time." Cass hesitated. "I found books but they had very little information about...me. I only learned recently that’s because when the demon king is a certain type of demon, that information becomes outlawed. For...weakness reasons." Cass clarified. Sir Forsythe’s eyebrows came down, his expression growing concerned and worried.
"You found out what kind of demonic blood you have?" It wasn’t a question. He didn’t doubt for a second that Cass had demonic blood. Cass exhaled slowly.
"Yeah, because my mother was at the demon lord’s side when I spoke to him." Sir Forsythe didn’t look as shocked as he should have. Instead, he just looked pissed.
"That damn snake." He hissed and Cass wasn’t sure who Sir Forsythe was angry at. He also didn’t clarify that either. At least, he made sure that Cass knew it wasn’t at him. "So, you found out the base origins of your demonic blood. Are you sure that they can be trusted?" It was a fair question.
"I don’t think that they had a choice. I feel that with the way I spoke to him and the methods that I used, he...had to be honest?" Cass replied, glancing towards Sam. Sam flushed.
"That might be the case, in fact, I believe that is true. When summoned, unlike the gods, demons have to speak the truth. They can not speak in full truths, but they can’t outright lie. The demon king has been...dangerously forthcoming with information." Sam agreed, confused as well. He froze. "Oh. Um, I’m a minor demon, Sir Forsythe. I was born from the demon king’s powers to serve and tend to Lord Cass’ needs but I...I’m not on his side. I am tied to Lord Cass in a way that if he died, I would die." Sam explained.
He had to because as soon as he mentioned that he was a demon, Sir Forsythe’s expression had turned dark and dangerous.
"You mean to tell me you were acting as a spy this whole time? Like Byron?" He demanded and Sam looked terrified!
"I-I couldn’t turn down his summons! A-All I told him about our Lord was his health, and favourite foods!" Sam exclaimed. The tension in the office was thick and cloying, but Cass couldn’t step in to diffuse it either. They had to figure this out for themselves. He could explain his stance, though.
"I’ve already put Sam through the wringer, Sir Forsythe. I was...very upset when I found out since Sam had several times to disclose what was going on and chose not to. If you wish to have a word with him about this, you can do so later. We have more things to discuss." He backed down, nodding. He sucked in a deep breath, nodding slowly.
"Forgive me, my Lord. I can roll with most things but...demons are still a sensitive subject to me." Sir Forsythe muttered. Cass could understand. If he recalled, Sir Forsythe had served his father before Cass. This would be a horrible reminder of what Cassian’s mother had done to a man who was, in Cass’ mind, relatively innocent in all of this.
"Talk about it after this. I’m sure Sam would be happy to answer any of your questions." Cass told him softly and he nodded. Sir Forsythe glanced at Sam, his eyes tight but he didn’t look as angry. Sam didn’t relax, but he looked less scared.
"We will." He confirmed.
’Anyways, we found out that my mother had forged my signature on her deal and forced me to bear the burden of her contract with the demon king. I’m a sex demon." Cass told him and Sir Forsythe blinked, taken out of his anger at Sam entirely.
"But you haven’t been having sex, my Lord." Cass truly had not expected that dry response from him, ever. Nor had anyone else.
The laughter that burst out of Edgar and even Gideon, was organic. Shock mixed with humour while Cass felt his jaw drop and his whole face go red.
"T-That was for several reasons. If I had participated in it, my powers would have awoken a lot younger. I was also starving myself, intentional or otherwise." Cass told him and while the others laughed, Sir Forsythe looked grim.
"Starving yourself? Do you need-" his eyes widened as he realised it on his own. There was no shame in his eyes, no embarrassment. Only a deep, old hatred burning at his core. "That vile woman." He hissed, and Cass realised that his anger wasn’t directed at Cass at all.
It was his mother.
Cass felt his shoulders relax slightly.
"Her name has been stricken from the fairy records." Cass told him. "The fairies are lots of things, but they do not tolerate this kind of harm against children, Sir Forsythe." Cass told him carefully. Sir Forsythe slid his gaze to Cass, seeing the acceptance, the lack of anger, and Sir Forsythe closed his eyes. He took several deep breaths, composing himself. Cass watched his shoulders drop as he forced his muscles to relax.
"I’m glad that the fairies will not let this stand. She’s a demon now?" He asked and Cass shrugged.
"I think so? I don’t care enough to find out if that’s the truth. She sold her soul for some kind of power, or just for shits and giggles. I don’t care, and I don’t need to. The gods were shocked at the deal she made too, and Aunt Alysora is pissed at her. While I may descend from a line of fairies that wanted revenge and wanted to make deals with demons, that was to help the fairies get revenge for what the humans had done to children. Not at the cost of them. When we defeat the demon king I do wonder what will happen to her, but not positively." Cass explained.
Sir Forsythe stared at him before something crossed his eyes. He hesitated, curious, but clearly conflicted. Cass waved a hand, telling him to ask away.
"Are you...of Blackburn blood, my Lord?" Sir Forsythe asked and Cass was surprised he was bold enough to ask, but then he watched at how the question hurt him to even ask. It was like doubting who Cass was, and Cass knew that he wasn’t asking it to hurt Cass. Sir Forsythe would continue to follow him even if the answer was no.
"The demon seed needed a different blood to latch onto because fairy blood and demon blood do not mix well." Cass told him softly, knowing that this would hurt Sir Forsythe more than it would hurt him.
More than it had hurt Cassian.
The gust of air that left his lungs held something deep and painful inside. Cass didn’t hesitate. He went towards Sir Forsythe, willing to offer comfort but Sir Forsythe stopped him. He held up his hand, shaking his head as his eyes trembled.
"No, my Lord. You don’t have to after I just questioned you to your face." Sir Forsythe’s voice broke and Cass frowned. Stubborn old knight.
Cass didn’t care, he brushed off his hand but moved slowly. He gave Sir Forsythe plenty of time to actually push him away if he didn’t want it, but when he didn’t, Cass wrapped his arms around him tightly.
"It’s okay." Cass whispered, holding him. Sir Forsythe let out a shaky breath.
"It is not okay, my Lord." Sir Forsythe responded. "I should have taken you away from that house, consequences be damned." He whispered. "I was just so scared. You were a child. You should not be comforting me like this either. I should be the one comforting you." Sir Forsythe’s voice was rough with emotion.
Just hearing him like this, feeling his body shake for Cassian’s sake, soothed something damaged inside of Cass. He was not going to take it well that Cass and Cassian’s souls were merged now, was he? Cass sighed.
"You being this angry for my sake is enough, and besides, I would have died without the nursery tree. Taking me away was the wrong call." Cass told him. That didn’t comfort the older man.
Comments