December 7, 2020
"The envoy from Roakin is expected to arrive sometime today."
"Do you think they’ve noticed anything?"
"They’re traveling under the guise of merchants who make regular visits to Schwarhan, so I doubt they were easily detected."
"In that case, we should start preparing to move."
Cabelenus stared at the map spread before him. Several locations were marked in red.
"Make sure we're ready to move as soon as the deal is made."
"Are you planning to leave immediately?"
"There’s no need to waste time. It’s better to act before they get a chance to prepare."
"Understood. Then—"
Knock! Knock!
The sudden knocking interrupted Gajev mid-sentence. He frowned, his nose slightly wrinkling in irritation.
"It’s too soon for Roakin’s envoy to have arrived...."
"I called for him."
"Your Highness did?"
"I have something to say to the boy."
"The boy... You mean the young master?"
Gajev’s expression turned subtle. It wasn’t unusual for Mikael to come looking for Cabelenus first, but the reverse almost never happened. He couldn’t fathom why Cabelenus had suddenly summoned Mikael to his office.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Well... It’s just that Your Highness has never sought out the young master first."
"Have I not?"
Cabelenus propped his chin on one hand.
"No. You haven’t."
Gajev nodded without hesitation. There was already a faint trace of anticipation in his gaze.
"Now that I think about it, Mikael always came to me first."
"Sometimes, it wouldn’t be bad for Your Highness to take the first step."
"It’s not about taking the first step. I intend to apologize."
"What?"
For a moment, Gajev thought he’d misheard. He blinked slowly, trying to process the words. But Cabelenus appeared completely unbothered.
"I promised to apologize."
"To whom...?"
Gajev trailed off as a certain face came to mind. There was only one person who could make Cabelenus do something as unthinkable as apologize.
***
"You said you had something to say. If you’re going to say it, hurry up."
[Do you have any idea how busy I am?] Mikael glared at him with sharp eyes. But despite his impatience, Cabelenus remained silent.
"Mister."
"Wait a moment."
"You were the one who called me here, remember?"
"That’s why I’m doing this right now."
Cabelenus furrowed his brows. He had decided to apologize, but he didn’t know where to begin. It was something that had happened while Mikael was still in Alicia’s womb. Apologizing for something the boy had no knowledge of felt strange and overwhelming.
"If you have nothing to say, I’m leaving."
"Wait. I’ll say it soon."
"You’ve been saying that over and over again."
"......."
"Do you even have anything to say to me?"
Mikael’s eyebrows shot up. Cabelenus sighed deeply as he met the boy’s unusually persistent gaze.
"...I’m sorry."
"What?"
"I said I’m sorry."
"......."
"I made a decision on my own and nearly put you in danger. I apologize."
Maybe it was because he resembled Alicia—when Mikael stared at him like that, his mouth felt strangely dry. It was just a few simple words, but the moment he uttered them, his heart plummeted.
"...Are you insane?"
Of course, the oblivious child in question merely scrunched his face in displeasure.
"Who exactly are you calling insane?"
"Obviously, you."
"......."
"There’s no way you would ever say sorry unless you’d completely lost your mind."
Mikael shuddered, rubbing his arms as if to ward off chills.
"...Just who do you take after to be like this?"
"My mom."
"Your mother isn’t like this."
Cabelenus dismissed the idea outright. Mikael immediately pouted.
"But Mom told me I take after her."
"Your mother is far better than you."
"Aren’t you supposed to be apologizing to me?"
Mikael frowned.
"I was going to. That is, if you hadn’t called me insane."
"Think about the way you usually act. If you suddenly apologize, who’s going to accept it? That’s why you’re hopeless."
Mikael climbed off the sofa and walked up to Cabelenus, standing directly in front of him. Cabelenus, looking down at the much smaller child, raised an eyebrow.
"Mister. That’s not how you apologize."
"......."
"Be honest. How many times have you actually apologized? Or have you never done it before?"
"...I have, at least once."
Cabelenus turned his head slightly, swallowing the rest of his sentence. No matter how hard he searched his memory, he could count on one hand the number of times he had ever apologized.
"It’s okay. Even if you’ve never done it before, I understand. You don’t look like someone who’s good at apologizing."
Mikael patted the back of Cabelenus’s hand as if taking pity on him. Deep wrinkles formed on Cabelenus’s forehead, but the boy paid them no mind.
"I’ll teach you properly. Mom always said ignorance isn’t a sin."
"...Do you even know what ignorance means?"
"Mm, probably something good."
"......."
"That doesn’t matter. Just come here. I’ll show you how to apologize properly."
Mikael grinned triumphantly and gestured for Cabelenus to move closer. With a deep sigh, Cabelenus leaned down to match his height.
"What am I supposed to do?"
"First, you have to clearly state what you did wrong."
"I can’t do that."
"Why not? Can’t you say it properly? Are you even really sorry?"
The boy’s clear eyes were like a mirror. As Cabelenus saw his own reflection in them, he clenched his fists.
He wasn’t sure when it started. But the child—who once seemed like nothing more than a parasite leeching off Alicia—hadn’t felt that way to him in a long time.
"...I think I finally understand why you’ve been so bothersome to me."
"See? I knew you weren’t actually here to apologize."
"It’s because you provoke me."
"I’ve never done that."
"No. You definitely have."
[Because you remind me of my most shameful moments.]
Cabelenus smirked bitterly.
The reason he had always found the boy so unbearable was because Mikael’s very existence was intertwined with a past he wanted to forget.
"...Am I an embarrassment to you?"
The child, who had been so confident just moments ago, suddenly shrank back, his voice trembling. Cabelenus let out a dry chuckle. The look on Mikael’s face—on the verge of tears—was unmistakably that of a child. Nothing more, nothing less.
It had taken him far too long to accept that simple truth.
"No, you are not an embarrassment."
This translation is the intellectual property of Novelight.
"Then what is it?"
"I'm ashamed of myself."
Cabelenus slowly reached out. Clumsily, yet with sincerity, he wiped away the tears welling in the boy’s eyes.
"I truly am sorry."
With those words—words he should have said long ago.
***
Mikael kept fiddling with the pendant, his fingers tracing its edges over and over. Even as he pretended not to care, a small, contented smile kept creeping onto his lips every time he glanced at the necklace around his neck.
Unlike before, the inside of the pendant—hidden behind the engraved design—now bore a new emblem, the same one that fluttered on the banners of Schwarhan’s castle.
"Mikael, what’s got you so happy?"
"Uncle!"
Mikael beamed as he threw himself into James’s arms.
"What were you doing all by yourself, grinning like that?"
"I wasn’t grinning."
"Then what?"
"I was just looking at something."
Mikael lifted his chin, trying to look indifferent, but he couldn’t hide the way the corners of his mouth kept tugging upward.
"Do you want to see it too, Uncle?"
"This is..."
James’s expression grew subtle as he examined the object in Mikael’s hand.
"The necklace I lost—I found it."
"...You found something that was lost?"
"Technically, the original was broken, so they made a similar one for me."
Similar? This?
James barely managed to swallow the words before they slipped out.
The boy might not have noticed anything, but to James’s keen artist’s eyes, the differences were glaringly obvious.
At a glance, the new necklace resembled Mikael’s old one, but upon closer inspection, it was entirely different. Unlike the original, which had been fragile and hollow inside, this one was solid, crafted with intricate, impeccable detail. It was clear it wasn’t a cheap, mass-produced trinket—this was the work of a master craftsman.
At the very least, it was worth the price of a house.
And that alone made it obvious who had gifted it.
"You seem to have grown quite close to that man."
"I haven’t."
"Really?"
"I’m the one entertaining him. He seems like the type to have no friends, given his awful personality."
Despite his gruff words, Mikael’s cheeks had turned a noticeable shade of pink.
James pressed his lips together tightly as he opened the locket pendant.
Inside, just as before, was Alicia’s portrait.
And behind it... I’m sure that man’s portrait is there too.
James clenched his eyes shut. He could still picture the arrogant smirk of that infuriating man.
There was nothing he could say to deny it.
Cabelenus was honest about his emotions.
And James was not.
No matter how much he boasted about the past eight years, in the end, that was all they amounted to. Watching from the sidelines had made him familiar with their lives—but it had also made him powerless.
If there had been nothing between them, it would have been one thing. But losing something that had already been built... That was terrifying.
"Mikael, do you like that man?"
"Mm... Honestly, I don’t dislike him."
"You don’t dislike him?"
"He’s like a magician from a fairy tale—he makes anything happen. Even though he talks mean, he gives me whatever I ask for."
Cabelenus had refused to buy him a house, but he had bought him a ridiculous amount of candy.
Whenever Mikael said he wanted something, the man nodded without hesitation. Even when he looked annoyed, he never once let go of Mikael’s hand.
"If only he had a better personality, he’d have plenty of friends. He’s good at so many things, but the fact that he has no friends... That’s got to be his own fault."
"He’s good at a lot of things?"
"Yeah. It’s almost annoying how much he’s good at."
"......."
"That’s why I’ve decided to keep watching him for now."
"Watching?"
"I need to figure out if he’s someone who truly suits my mom or not."
Carefully, Mikael took the pendant from James’s hand.
Under the light, the locket shimmered as it caught the reflection, but when he covered it with his hand, it lost its glow entirely.
"Then, would it be okay if that man became your father?"
"It wouldn’t be okay. Honestly, I’d rather he didn’t."
Without a moment’s hesitation, Mikael shook his head.
"You wouldn’t like it? Why?"
James’s lips twitched slightly.
"It feels like he’d be stealing my mom away from me."
"......."
"I love Mom more than anything in the world, and I think he does too. That’s why I don’t like it. It feels like he’s going to take her away from me."
No matter how many good things were given to him, none of them could replace Alicia.
To Mikael, his mother was everything.
The idea of sharing her with someone else wasn’t something he found pleasant in the slightest.
"Then why are you watching? If you don’t like it, why not just say so?"
"Because Mom likes him."
"......."
"Mom told me that’s what love is. That it makes you care about someone else’s happiness more than your own. So I decided to try to be a little more generous."
Mikael puffed out his chest proudly, a bright smile spreading across his face.
Because I love Mom the most in the world.
But James couldn’t bring himself to meet Mikael’s gaze. He turned his head away, trying to suppress the emotions churning inside him.
"...Then what about me?"
"Huh?"
"What if I became your dad?"
"You, Uncle?"
Mikael blinked, startled.
"I never thought about that before..."
His lips pressed together uncertainly.
"You used to say it would be better for me to be your dad instead of that man."
"Yeah, but Uncle is Uncle. How could you be Dad?"
James roughly ran a hand through his hair.
"I’m not really your uncle. So that means—"
"What are you two doing over there?"
"Mom!"
The moment Mikael spotted Alicia, he immediately ran to her.
"Mikael, what were you up to?"
"Mister gave me a present today!"
"A present?"
"My necklace! The one I lost—Mister made a new one for me. Look! It even has the same picture you drew inside."
"It really does look the same. Mikael, you’re so lucky."
Alicia smiled as she hugged Mikael close, then turned to James with a warm expression.
James swallowed dryly, watching her.
Only now did he truly realize it.
Thinking it was enough just to be near her... That had been a foolish thought.
The feelings he held weren’t the same as the pure love of a child.
No matter how much he tried to wrap it up nicely, when stripped down to its core, all that remained was desire.
He didn’t want to admit it.
He wanted to claim he was different from that shameless man.
But in the end, the face that surfaced in his mind at this moment...
Was that of the man who knew no shame.
He was jealous. Truly jealous.
That arrogant bastard who had already taken everything—and still, in the end, had claimed Alicia too.
And he hated it.
Just as much as he hated the woman who, despite everything, had smiled at Cabelenus anyway.
