Chapter 50: One Year
The days turned into weeks, the weeks into months, and the months into seasons. The changing of the seasons became familiar, and then it was time for another change of seasons.
"Noooooo! I don’t wanna goooooo!"
Jieun was drafted into the military.
The cutoff for a 4th-grade classification was below 144cm, and Jieun, who had recently grown 1cm, was confirmed to be exactly 144.7cm, making her a proud 3rd-grade, active-duty soldier.
On the day of her enlistment, she suddenly started writing a bucket list, wanting to go on a cross-country bike trip or just dip her feet in a stream and eat ramen. But sadly, these were just fantasies that couldn’t be realized in the car on the way to the base.
To see that dream come true, she would have to wait at least two years.
Watching her get her long hair cut short at a barbershop near the base was heart-wrenching. Of course, the relief of not having to go to the military in this second life was greater.
As the announcement called for all new recruits to gather in the parade ground, Jieun tightly held my hand. I wondered how she would even hold a gun with those small hands.
"Write letters. Seriously. You have to."
"Okay, okay."
Knowing what military life was like, I could only offer meaningless comfort. Slowly pulling away her hand that wouldn’t let go, I added one last remark.
"It’s not like you’re going to die or anything."
"Ugh...!"
Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. Seeing her slumped over like a cow being led to the slaughterhouse, I regretted my words.
*
Even though Jieun went to the military, my daily life didn’t change much. The time I used to spend with her was just divided among other women, so I didn’t feel much of a difference.
Nana and Ahyeon were the same, even after turning a year older. The person who experienced the biggest change, excluding Jieun, was undoubtedly...
Moonbyul.
For some reason, she talked more in the past year than she did in the previous five years combined. The distance between us had almost disappeared, to the point where she now often brought her blanket and pillow to my bed at night.
The catalyst for this seemed to be the cigarette incident... but it was hard to pinpoint exactly what had changed.
Of course, she hadn’t crossed the line of familial boundaries, but even that vague line had become quite blurred recently.
Right now, she’s sitting at my desk, scribbling something.
I’ve been staring at the back of her head for over five minutes, but Moonbyul seems to be enjoying herself, occasionally letting out strange laughter as she moves her pen non-stop.
"...run... Byul... laughed..."
She mutters to herself as the pen scratches against the paper.
Leaning slightly to the side, I catch a glimpse of the notebook that was previously hidden. It’s a thick spring notebook, the kind I only have one of in my room.
Is that my diary?
*
-X Month XX Day Weather Cloudy
Moonbyul’s elementary school entrance ceremony. I thought it would be a memorable day with March’s blooming forsythias, but it was cloudier than expected. Fortunately, unlike the weather forecast, it didn’t rain. Moonbyul was so happy to attend the same school as me that she wore her new school bag with a big smile. When I asked her what she wanted to eat the most for her entrance ceremony, she immediately said she wanted jjajangmyeon.
Her face covered in jjajang sauce was adorable. I wiped the sauce from her face.
-X Month XX Day Weather Clear
I’m feeling down. I turned down the boys who wanted to play with marbles behind the school and went out to play soccer with the girls. There were about ten of us, so we decided to use one goal, but the girls from the next class joined us, and we ended up playing a game of soda and bread.
It was the first inter-class match since entering the fifth grade of elementary school, so the atmosphere was heated.
Up until then, it was good. Except for the part where a girl from the next class tackled me, and my knee got all scraped up. It was just a superficial scratch, so I thought I could just rinse it with water and keep playing, but before I knew it, the classes were in a full-blown fight. And of course, I was the cause. Even though I said I was fine, the fight only escalated.
As a result, I got dragged in and received a beating. I got hit even more because I was a boy acting tough like a girl. Damn it.
And when I got home, Moonbyul saw my bruises and cried. Thanks to her, I tried to keep it a secret from our parents, but they found out.
Moonbyul crying because she felt guilty was also cute.
-X Month XX Day Weather Rainy
I entered middle school. Because of this, I could no longer go to school together. Moonbyul threw a tantrum about it, but what could I do? I told her if she didn’t like it, she should skip a grade and come to my school. She actually started studying. But is that even possible?
She even cried when she found out she would come home later. Even sulking Moonbyul is cute.
-X Month XX Day Weather Cold
It’s already time for high school. Moonbyul entered the middle school I used to attend.
But lately, is she going through puberty or something? She’s been snapping at me and even our parents. No, she’s not just snapping; she’s being downright rude. I can brush it off when she acts up to me, but she keeps crossing the line with our parents too. I think I need to set her straight one of these days.
-X Month XX Day Weather Lukewarm, Shitty
After Moonbyul’s open class, I had a shocking conversation with her homeroom teacher. Cigarettes. Smoking. Actually, I didn’t care much about the smoking itself. I just thought it would be better for her health if she quit. But I never thought she would hide it from me too. The sense of betrayal made my chest tighten.
I felt dizzy. When I actually checked under her bed, cigarettes spilled out. After that, my memory is hazy because I was so angry. When I came to my senses, I was holding a 3-iron. After things calmed down a bit, we made a few promises. Thankfully, she agreed without much fuss.
I hope the wound... won’t leave a scar, right? I should check tonight.
Moonbyul smiled as she held her pen, reading the diary. It had been over a year since that day. It could be considered a memory now.
"Whew, this is the diary from that day."
It was a day that could be seen as a turning point in life. That day, she died once. Not a physical death, but a mental one. It could even be called an evolution.
The current Moonbyul was the reborn Moonbyul Mark 2 from that day.
Oppa went to the neighborhood supermarket to buy ingredients for dinner. Judging that this was a golden opportunity, she immediately went to Tae-yang’s room and took out the diary from the drawer.
As she read the diary, she occasionally added praises like "cute" or "I was pretty" whenever she saw mentions of herself.
This time too, she picked up her pen to add a line to the end of the diary. Or rather, she tried to.
-And the way she quietly sleeps is also cute...
"...What are you doing?"
"Hic!"
Startled, Moonbyul dropped the pen she was holding.
She turned around with a hiccup and saw Tae-yang leaning against the doorway, staring at her.
His gaze was cold as he looked at her with his arms crossed.
"Are you already back?"
It hasn’t even been 10 minutes since you left?
Tae-yang, who had been silent for a moment, put down the shopping basket. It was empty.
"It was their regular day off. So, you said you had important homework to do and put off the shopping until later. Why are you in my room reading my diary? Not just reading, but editing it."
She tried to cover the diary with both hands, but it was no use. Her face flushed red as she tried to make an excuse.
"No, it’s just...!"
"Put it back the way it was."
As soon as he finished speaking, Moonbyul opened the drawer and put the diary back in its original place. When he spoke in short sentences like that, commands rather than explanations, it sent shivers down her spine.
"Sigh..."
Tae-yang sighed and entered the room. Then he sat on the bed and patted the spot next to him.
"Come here."
"Uh, okay."
Moonbyul got up from the chair and cautiously approached Tae-yang. She stood awkwardly, as if ready to kneel at his command.
"Don’t stand, sit next to me."
At least she knew she had done something wrong, as Moonbyul silently sat next to Tae-yang. They maintained a distance of about three fists, neither too close nor too far.
I let out a short sigh and asked Moonbyul,
"Is that how you treat your brother’s diary?"
"No..."
"No?"
"No..."
Her voice trailed off.
"Then why did you do it?"
"...I’m sorry."
"I asked you why you did it."
But Moonbyul just hung her head without explaining.
"I was curious....."
"So what should you do?"
"I should be punished."
Before I knew it, our shoulders were touching. Since I hadn’t moved, Moonbyul must have come closer.
Moonbyul fidgeted with her thighs, stealing glances at me. Specifically, her gaze was fixed on my crotch.
"Brother."
She looked up at me with a fake regional accent, despite being a native Seoulite. Her breath was already ragged.
"I did something wrong..."
Without waiting for an answer, she lay down on my thighs. She subtly moved her body up and down, rubbing her ribs against my thighs.
Then she lifted the back of her skirt. Here, she seemed a bit embarrassed and pulled the blanket over her face.
"Bad little sister, spank me hard..."
Now it was clear.
She had been getting worse since last year, and now she had completely lost it.
