Shoutout to Bruh_Vista for beta-reading and providing extensive feedback for this chapter!
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Jean read through the letter Marie had written for her once again, making it the tenth time she'd read it. She didn't hope that the words written within would magically change with each new read. And it wasn't that she didn't understand what the letter intended.
The reason for her obsession with the text was because it brought into question something that made her rethink her entire journey up until this point: whether it was all a result of the efforts of herself and those around her or if it was something that was predetermined.
Predetermination is an interesting concept. It states that whatever has happened, is happening and will happen is already decided. Was Jean's breakthrough as a mage an event which was predetermined? Was Jean never supposed to have the sole capacity to counter the Plague Emperor's Plague of Dark Cleansing? Was everything she'd done and achieved till now an eventuality regardless of her efforts?
Of course, that wasn't true! If Jean hadn't put in the effort, she wouldn't have achieved the successes she's gained until this point. But the fact remained that there was really no way around it. The decisions Jean made and the actions she took were a direct result of her character. And the only way to go around that would be to do something that was out of character, willingly. Why would anyone do that?
People behave and act a certain way because they are born that way and are later affected by the environment that urges a change. People cannot control the conditions of their birth, nor can they control how the environment affects their lives. In many ways, people are living reactive lives and the way they react is a function of the life they have lived until that point.
"In the end, free will is just an illusion," Jean concluded. "I can do what I want, but what I want is a result of who I am. And who I am is not really something I have control over."
It was a sobering realisation. And to think that a simple letter written for a little girl could incite such deep and reality-shattering thoughts!
Did Jean dislike Marie for doing this? How could she? How could you blame someone for helping? Marie didn't hijack Jean's work, all she did was offer guidance. But the difference was that Marie's word had a more definite weight compared to another individual - say, an expert.
Because there is a difference when someone who knows what the future holds tells you that the path you are taking is pointless, compared to when an expert in the field tells you the same thing. Because with the latter, there is always a trace of hope - a possibility - that your path may lead you somewhere. But Marie's words were absolute. Although it irked her to admit it, there was no way around this; Jean knew that she was out of options at this point.
Jean folded the letter by its initial crease and stuffed it into her jacket. The sun was just rising over the horizon, marking the start of a new day - a different day by Jean's estimate. After going through her usual Yoga session, she approached the still-sleeping form of Kili and gently nudged her awake.
"Kili. Time to get up," Jean called.
"In a minute..." The little girl moaned while shuffling deeper into her bed.
"It's been a minute already," Jean responded with a quivering smile.
"What? No way!" Kili's eyes jolted open, still half-sleepily.
"Just kidding," Jean chuckled. "We have work to do today, Kili."
"Work?" Kili repeated.
"I need your help," Jean said with a sigh.
"My help?" This time, Kili sat up and asked with a confused expression.
"How would you like to eradicate another disease?" Jean challenged.
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Jean couldn't hurt anyone knowingly. That was the limitation she had etched into her soul. And if there was someone or something in need of healing, she would do everything within her power to heal them. The situation she was facing right now was interesting.
Essentially, she would be sending Kili into the plagued lands. That in and of itself should basically be going against her credo, as she would be forcing Kili to confront assured death. However, that would only be true if Kili were your average child, which she wasn't. She had the Universal Panacea Physique which made her immune to nearly everything as long as the girl believed it to be true. Of course, there was no guarantee that the Plague would be suppressed by the girl's physique. After all, the girl wasn't a mage, and the Plague was birthed by one. Jean couldn't confidently say that sending the girl into those lands would be safe.
However, having birthed the microbes capable of resisting the plague, Jean was now certain that no harm would befall Kili if she were to be sent in.
But Jean was having second thoughts. As she stood before the plagued lands, Kili by her side, Jean was rethinking this "option". Although it was certainly safe, it didn't sit well with her morality.
"I don't like this," Jean said out loud. "This isn't right."
"What's wrong?" Kili probed as she pulled Jean's jacket.
"No. Let's go back," Jean decided. "If it takes me a year, a decade, or even my entire lifetime. That's okay. This isn't right."
As Jean prepared to leave, she felt a tug while she tried to move Kili.
"Kili?"
"Big Sis' mother died in there," Kili pointed out. "I got to lay her to rest. But Big Sis didn't. That's not right."
"Kili..." Jean said as she suppressed a choke.
"Big Sis helped me when I was in trouble. You helped me find justice," Kili continued. "Please, let me help Big Sis in return."
"I can't put you in danger, Kili," Jean begged.
"But I won't be in danger. Didn't Big Sis already create a vacc- vaccine?"
"Still-"
"I won't die!" Kili bellowed with furrowed brows and extreme conviction. "I won't die today. I trust in Big Sis. Please trust me in return."
Jean bit her lips in frustration.
Predetermination is an interesting concept. Jean knew she wouldn't voluntarily send Kili into such a death trap even if it was completely safe. But Kili would gladly jump at the opportunity if it meant that she would be helping Jean and curing the disease. That was Kili's character and a result of what she had lived through. In the end, Jean really WAS left with no choice.
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Jean swallowed a dry mouthful of air as she saw Kili hobble closer and closer towards the plagued lands. Her heartbeat inched up her throat with each step. Jean's eyes dried due to her refusal to blink - she wasn't going to miss any signs of trouble. The Plague had already robbed Jean of happiness once; she wasn't going to let it happen again. As Kili said, she wouldn't die here today. Jean would do everything within her power to ensure that the declaration held true - even give away her life!
Kili walked without an ounce of doubt clouding her steps. The girl trusted Jean and trusted her own physique - that was good. Even an inkling of doubt was all it took for Kili's physique to betray her. If the girl did not trust the potency of Jean's microbes, then her body would actively make her vulnerable to the Plague, causing the vaccine to become inert.
Jean's mana senses honed in on Kili; nothing else mattered. If anyone were to sneak up on Jean right now and stab her, they would succeed as nothing else was within Jean's senses (even her natural sensors had all been tuned out). Kili took her first step upon the plagued lands, and Jean's breath stopped.
A single second expanded to last an hour in Jean's perception. Her mana senses captured the Plague entering Kili's body through every possible access point. The attack was instantaneous, and would certainly kill anyone else.
But the moment the Plague microbes entered the bloodstream, Jean's microbes raised the defence. It was a war of attrition, neither side won, and neither side advanced. It had reached a perfect standstill, all according to Jean's expectations.
Right as Jean released half a breath, a change occurred. Her microbes retreated.
"NO!" Jean rushed forward.
Images of Jean's mother bleeding black ooze through all of her orifices as her body dried up rapidly started to flash past her memory.
Then it happened.
Black ooze started to gush out of Kili's pores.
Jean's worst fears had been realized. She was already too late!
At that moment, Kili turned around.
Jean was within arm's reach of the little girl when Kili raised her hand and waved, revealing a bright smile.
"I'm okay!" Kili exclaimed. As she said this, Jean noticed the girl's clothes disintegrating rapidly as the black ooze immediately vaporized and dissipated into thin air.
Jean skidded to a hasty halt and allowed her senses to inspect Kili thoroughly. She wasn't mistaken when she noticed her microbes retreating. But in her hurry, Jean had missed what happened next.
The antibodies in Kili's blood had reinforced Jean's microbes, surrounding them as some form of armour. The now "armoured" microbes had redoubled their assault and completely decimated the invading Plague.
But the "armoured" microbes were far more potent than Jean could have predicted. They had completely cleansed Kili's blood and marrow, mimicking a mage's advancement into the Foundation Establishment realm.
A drop of sweat rolled off of Kili's forehead and landed on the plagued lands.
Jean watched in shock as the region where the droplet fell started to lose its deathly colour.
The Plague was retreating.
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