484 Queen Tam
Yes, acting had been her life.
Her refuge from everything.
Years of hard work and dedication had brought Alicia to this point, but now doubt crept in. She had worked years to climb the ladder of success, to have her name mentioned first before the names of any other actors and actresses.
But it was all for what?
Mabel watched Alicia closely, her heart full of concern. She could feel the weight of her sadness even without a word from her.
"I had... thought acting would bring me happiness." Alicia's voice trembled as she spoke, her vulnerability on full display. "I believed that stepping into different characters' lives would help me escape my own struggles."
She remembered how she had worked so hard under the sun, under the rain and even had to put up with so many nasty attitudes and also suffered some very humbling moments.
Her voice broke. "I really... really believed it," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "But the more I got lost in those roles, the more... the more I lost touch with who I really am."
Tears welled up in Alicia's eyes, and Mabel's heart ached for her. Before this incident, she wouldn't have considered it. That was why she would rather die than give it up. But now...
"I don't know who I am, Mabel. I am lost," Alicia confessed, her voice filled with raw emotion.
Mabel's own eyes glistened with tears as she took Alicia's hand, offering her silent support. "But the world knows who you are," Mabel reassured her gently.
Alicia's voice wavered as she responded, her pain evident. "The world knows nothing. Otherwise, I wouldn't have had the guts to stand on that bridge," she admitted, her vulnerability laid bare. "It was the stardom, the pressure, that pushed me to that point."
Alicia's admission was like a punch to Mabel's heart, and she couldn't hold back her tears. "I couldn't bear the weight of expectations, the constant scrutiny, the loneliness behind the glamour," Alicia continued, her voice quivering. "I... I tried to take my own life, Mabel."
Tears streamed down Alicia's face, and Mabel wrapped her arms around her, offering comfort and understanding with her hug. "It was... it was the only thing I had left," Alicia whispered, her voice heavy with sorrow.
Mabel held Alicia close, her own tears falling.
"And right now, I don't see why I should keep trying so hard," Alicia admitted, desperation laced in her voice.
"I had no idea you were going through such a difficult time," Mabel said with years in her eyes as she rubbed Alicia's back. She was trying not to cry so Alicia would also be strong, but she could not help it. "I'm so sorry I couldn't be there for you. I am so sorry—"
Alicia sniffled and shook her head. "It wasn't your fault, Mabel. It isn't your fault. It was a struggle I had to face on my own. And I'm sorry for being so selfish and putting you through all that."
Mabel broke the hug to look at her face. She forced a smile through her tears and used her hands to wipe Alicia's face gently.
"It doesn't matter if the world doesn't know who you are. Hell! It doesn't even matter if you do not know who you are." She took Alicia's hands in hers, as she said. "But I know who you are. And I know that you are going to find yourself, and I will be right behind you, in front of you, and beside you. You don't have to do this alone, Alicia."
Alicia cried in gratitude and hugged the woman again, who kept trying to not let her tears fall as she rubbed Alicia's back.
Mabel's voice was filled with compassion as she reassured her. "It's fine. You can stop living like that now. Let's not let the pursuit of fame dictate our lives. Let's no longer live for the sake of others' expectations."
Mabel's support was unwavering as she pulled back to gaze into Alicia's eyes, asking, "So, what do you intend to do?" She asked, her voice gentle yet curious.
Alicia sniffled and shook her head as she whispered, "I don't know, Mabel. I just don't know. But I want to find my own path, even if it means stepping away from the limelight."
Mabel nodded understandingly, a mixture of emotions playing across her face. "Alicia, you're incredibly brave for acknowledging your feelings and making this decision. I'm here for you, no matter what you choose. We'll figure things out together."
Tears spilled down Alicia's cheeks, a mix of relief, sadness, and hope washing over her. "Thank you, Mabel. Your support means more to me than you'll ever know."
Mabel managed a small smile through her tears and helped Alicia rest comfortably on the bed before she cleaned up her tears.
She was at least grateful that Alicia was strong and was trying to fight through whatever was bothering her.
A nurse came in to check on Alicia, and she also looked glad to see her up and take vitals, informing Mabel that she seemed to be a lot more stable before the nurse left and Mabel picked up the script beside the bed.
"So should I get rid of it?" Mabel asked, holding up the script with a hint of humour, despite the seriousness of this decision.
It would involve meetings, money, contracts, yelling and more yelling, plus more money! In one word, Alicia's decision would bring trouble not only to herself and Mabel but to so many other people and organizations, and Mr. Phillips would throw a crazy fit, which she was not looking forward to.
"What exactly is it about?" Alicia asked, looking at the script in Mabel's hand. "Mr. Phillips mentioned everyone is talking about the story."
Mabel opened the script and flipped through the pages, a realization dawning on her. "I knew this was going to happen soon," she mumbled to herself before looking at Alicia.
Taking a deep breath, Mabel continued, "I know you aren't really great with history, but you should have heard about Queen Amber, right? From the 16th century."
"You mean the princess who was forcefully granted the title of queen after her passing by her evil husband, who continuously fed her his blood believing it would keep her alive, but she passed after birthing Queen Tam?" Alicia recalled with a sense of historical knowledge.
Seeing her talk so much made Mabel's heart swell with joy, and she figured talking about this would probably take Alicia's mind away from other heavy conversations.
"Boy! Were we wrong!" Mabel exclaimed and explained further, "So... on the night you... that incident happened," she corrected gently, "a lot of strange phenomena occurred."
Alicia's curiosity was piqued as she asked, "What... is that?"
Mabel elaborated, "The moon... it was strange. It was believed to be a lunar eclipse."
"Out of the blue?" Alicia asked, her brow furrowing.
Mabel confirmed, "Out of the blue! The reflection was especially strong in the south on one of the Cooper's owned lands, as if it were casting a spotlight there."
Mabel's tone turned more serious as she mentioned the government's involvement. "And trust our busybody government not to simply ignore it. They've been digging, finding things, and also putting things together. The real stories."
Alicia's interest was piqued even further.
"And you know the most fascinating thing?"
Alicia urged her to continue, "What is?"
"It was recorded that Princess Amber actually had her soul sucked out by the moon," Mabel revealed, her voice tinged with awe. "It was said that the moon was full. And red. And it took her spirit, leaving her empty to birth the... Of course, we would have thought it was crazy, but the year it was recorded, there was also a lunar eclipse on that night in 1504!"
Alicia's brows furrowed as she processed the information.
Mabel continued, "Everyone has been talking about it for the past year. New notes and letters have been found to change so many things we've always believed."
"1504... red moon," Alicia mumbled to herself quietly. Something within was drawing her, but every time it happened, Mabel's voice pulled her back.
"And another interesting fact is that Queen Tam's full name is actually Tikvah Alicia Maria. Isn't it an exciting coincidence that you share names? No wonder her story always reminds me of you and your crazy antics! Not to be too shocked, I think there were some kinds of voodoo happening back then. It's all so difficult to comprehend... scientifically."
Alicia's attention was fully captured now, and she looked down at the script with renewed curiosity. "So... is the story before or after Queen Tam was born?"
"You can just look through it to find out then," Mabel said, handing the script to her.
Alicia hesitantly took it, her fingers grazing the front page of the script.
Why does it feel like she was being pulled to read it?
She flipped through the first two pages she had opened before. And on the third page was the note...
'Embrace the echoes of the past, for they hold the keys to your present. Release the burdens you carry, and let the moon's embrace heal your wounded soul.' --- Queen Tam, The First.
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