Inside the dungeon, there was no sense of time because of how dark the place was both during the day and at night.
Alicia had never been more painfully aware of time as she was in these moments that she had spent in the dungeon.
Even though there was no wristwatch here, Alicia could hear her time ticking. With every second that passed, she could feel death approaching. It was closer than she hoped for.
At this point, she had already made up her mind that she was guilty. Her subconscious had taken over and put her in trouble. So there was no way she could get herself out of this. She wasn't sure she wanted to. If she had really done that to Beth, regardless of whatever Beth had done, then she was a beast and she deserved to die.
Perhaps this was the way her life was meant to end here. Even if she managed to return to her world, how was she going to live there knowing she was never going to see Harold ever again? How was she going to live without him?
The thing that saddened her most was the fact that she couldn't even remember her last moment with Harold. What did they talk about and do that day before things went haywire?
Having nothing to do but wait for the time when they would come to take her, she recalled everything that had happened since she first opened her eyes in that little hut in the mountains.
Tears ran down the sides of her eyes as she remembered her wedding to Harold and all that had happened between them since she came to the Moon Kingdom.
She remembered the first time she saw Harold blush. It was the first time her period started here. She hadn't been prepared for that, so it took her aback when she felt the familiar cramps, although milder than what she usually experienced herself.
She had gotten the shock of her life when Paulina had brought her some little pieces of cloth, which were to serve as "sanitary pads".
Paulina had excitedly fawned over it, talking about how it was a lot better than what they used in the mountains.
To say she had been horrified was an understatement, and even Paulina had looked confused as she wondered why her mistress was acting like she had never used it before, but then, Paulina was still sticking to the idea that her mistress lost most parts of her memory after drowning, so she excused it.
Fortunately, Harold had bumped into them. He had been pushy about knowing what they were talking about, wondering if it was an escape plan. And seeing how Harold was not going to let them rest until he knew what was going on, she blurted it out to him that she was "bleeding", and when he inquired how she got injured, it had been very awkward to explain what was happening to him.
Paulina had practically run out of the chamber in embarrassment while Harold tried to hide his embarrassment, but he didn't do a good job. It was the first time she saw a dust of pink on his cheeks.
He explained to her that men were not supposed to be in the same space as their wives during that time as it was taboo. But he stayed with her. And when she kept complaining about the weird pad, he asked her to tell him about the type she liked and have the servants make one.
She had excitedly drawn a picture of it and showed it to him while explaining how it worked. She had hoped to embarrass him, but he was surprisingly attentive and even suggested they use sheep wool to create one. He had done that and many more things for her selflessly.
She didn't want to cry. She tried not to. But she couldn't stop herself as her lips trembled and a startled sob escaped her lips.
She cried harder when another memory came to her. She remembered how he had chased her around the palace like he wanted to murder her when she called him a little bastard after he stood her up during lunch.
She didn't want to die. For the first time, it occurred to her just how attached she was to this place. Not exactly the place, but the people here. Harold, Paulina, Tyra, Susan, Williams, Luciana, and the king. She didn't want to leave. She didn't want to leave especially Harold.
She sobbed as she remembered all he had done for her. Simple things that she had taken for granted. Sending her meals, bringing her water to drink, applying a healing potion to her head after Ivan tried to rip her hair out of her skull, allowing her to live comfortably, standing by her side whenever she made a mistake, and calling her by her real name to remind her who she was.
He had opened up to her completely, but she had been too busy worrying about a future she couldn't even see to open up to him.
The thought of leaving without seeing Harold again. The thought of not telling him how she felt or thanking him for everything he had done for her. Those were the thoughts that broke her heart and made her heart ache.
As much as she tried to stop herself, she couldn't. And this time, it was Paulina who embraced her and held her close as she cried.
Why had it taken so long to realize how she truly felt about him? Why had it been so difficult to give herself and her love to him? Why had she been so wary only to end up like this? Why did she have to realize her feelings only after going through all this?
Thinking about all this made her cry loudly as she prayed for him to come back to her, "You have to return to me, Harold. I don't know how you are going to do it, but you have to come to me. Or else I will never forgive you for a thousand years. Please... wake up. I'm begging." She said in between sobs and didn't stop even after some guards opened the cell again and entered inside.
This time, they took only her and left Paulina behind, who was screaming and trying to crawl out with them. No matter how loudly Paulina cried or banged on the gate, the guards paid her no mind.
She wanted to console Paulina. She wished she could assure her that they were going to survive this, but she couldn't bring herself to do that anymore. She had lost all confidence in herself and didn't want to give her any false hope. But just as she had promised her earlier, she was going to protect her no matter what.
Alicia kept her eyes shut, enduring the pain she felt all over and praying for Harold to be well. She didn't open her eyes until she heard sounds around her and realized she had been returned to the podium where Paulina had almost been executed.
She dimmed her eyes against the harsh sunlight, wondering why it was so bright. Was it a different day? Had she been awake the entire night without knowing it? She thought as she looked around her.
Like the previous day, all the aristocrats and the members of the assembly had gathered once again, and most of them eyed her with scorn and disapproval.
Of course, it was well deserved. Princess Tyra had told them what happened. Now she seemed like both a murderer and a liar to them. Was there any way to convince them that even if she had done it, she had no memory of it? Would they listen to her if she tried to explain that her subconscious must have taken over and she hadn't done it in her clear mind?
When Damon stepped forward, her attention shifted to him. She gazed at him, but his eyes were stony as usual as he spoke, "Princess Tyra has testified that you were the one who hurt her and killed Beth. Do you still insist that you are innocent?" Damon asked, and there were murmurs around them wondering why Damon was now wasting time by asking her that question when the previous day he had wanted to execute her without getting a confession from her.
Alicia swallowed as she shook her head. There was no need to drag things anymore. The torture of not knowing what was to come was already killing her. She had done it and was going to be sentenced to death. As much as she hated to leave without seeing Harold and saying goodbye to him, she also didn't want him to watch her die.
"Speak with your mouth!" Damon growled at her.
"If... Princess Tyra said I'm guilty, then... I must be guilty," Alicia said as she met the queen's gaze, and to her surprise, the queen's lips twitched with what seemed like a triumphant smile.
How could she smile at a time like this? Alicia understood that the queen hated her guts and probably also hated her because she was Harold's wife. But how could she smile that way when she was about to be executed?
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