"How can you ask me to leave if you knew that losing you broke me?" She asked helplessly. "Why did your soul become incomplete? Was it because of me?"
Was it her fault that her son didn't get the chance to be born? Was it because of something she had done without knowing the repercussions of her actions?
"There you go again, Mom. Stop putting the blame on yourself. Various factors influence the complex divine process of rebirth. It has nothing to do with what you've done, Mom." Her son replied, giving her hand a light squeeze assuringly.
"Souls take multiple births and come in different human bodies for their earthly incarnations. Sometimes, when we have some karmic debts from our past lives, we are given little choice and are sent off to our next life to learn specific lessons required to settle the karmic balance."
She nodded at her son's explanation. Su Xiaofei had once thought that it was one of the reasons why she was given a chance to live her life again.
"You and the others were given a chance to be reborn to rectify the mistakes you've made in your previous lives, the only thing that differed was that you were able to retain most of the memories from your previous lives. Others would get a rebirth and would follow through the same course and events of their previous life, some would make the same mistakes again while others cunningly avoided the red flags along their way." He continued to explain.
Su Xiaofei stared at him, ignoring the fact that their surroundings were changing again into nothingness. The more she looked at him, the more she felt like he looked like Lu Qingfeng.
"You remind me so much of A-Feng." She sighed. Even the way he talked was almost the same as her husband's.
The young man's lips curled into a smile which was strikingly similar to Lu Qingfeng's rare smile. But how was that even possible? The child she gave birth to was fathered by Mo Yuchen. How could their son resemble Lu Qingfeng instead of him?
"I know, Mom. I'm just like him. That's why you have to go back. I love you as much as Lu Qingfeng loves you. Lucky he isn't here, or else, he might misunderstand me." He chuckled.
Su Xiaofei brushed a piece of hair away from his face. Somehow, having him here made her feel complete.
"Please go back, Mom. For me. Be with them. You still have so much more to live for. It's time for you to heal from your grief of losing me and move on." He said.
"How could you ask me this? If you know how much I love you, you wouldn't dare to ask me to leave you again." Su Xiaofei asked and her son released a deep breath.
"You can't stay with me, Mom. I don't want to be the reason for your pain anymore. Your body is currently healing and it's time for your soul to heal as well. I want you to lead a happy life with Lu Qingfeng and my sisters. I was never meant to stay and live with you in your previous lives, however, if you return now, there's a chance that I will be reunited with you."
Su Xiaofei stared at him for a long moment. Didn't he say that his soul was incomplete, that's why she'd lost him?
"But you said that your soul is incomplete." She pointed out.
Her son took her hand and took her for a stroll. They walked together, their steps creating ripples on the clear water beneath their feet.
"It's because my parents are incompatible. Who knows. Maybe when you and Lu Qingfeng decide to have another child again, I might be able to finally be born and return to your side again."
Su Xiaofei said nothing and allowed her son to lead her to nowhere, until they both stopped. She looked at him for a long moment.
"Will I be able to remember you once I go back?" She asked. It would be a pity if she would forget being reunited with him here.
"No. This is the place where some people go when they fall into a coma. Lu Qingfeng had once been here, as well as your mother, but neither of them remembered what transpired here. It would be the same for you, Mom, but you still have to go back. I've been keeping you for far too long already."
"How? How do I go back? I don't even remember what brought me here." She sniffed, trying to suppress her urge to cry for being parted with her child again. How was she supposed to leave when she knew that she could be with him here?
"Just think of Lu Qingfeng, my sisters and everyone who is waiting for your return. It's what I want, Mom. If fate allows us to meet again, I hope that you'll still be my mother."
Su Xiaofei nodded and gave him a tight hug. "I love you so much and I'm sorry for failing you."
"You have nothing to apologize for, Mom. If anything, I regret being the cause of your heartbreak." The young man said before giving Su Xiaofei a light peck on her cheek before they broke apart.
"Do you have a name? I've given you one, right?" Su Xiaofei asked, trying to grasp anything that could help her keep a memory of him in her mind, regardless of how miniscule it would be. She took in his appearance, trying to engrave it in her mind.
The young man smiled and Su Xiaofei's form slowly dissipated into golden grain, being swept away by the wind.
"You know my name, Mom. Just like how you knew Xiao Yue and Yanyan's name in your heart." He answered her.
Su Xiaofei started to panic, her tears streaming down her face again. She stared at her son's face and reached out for him, but he faded away. Before she lost her consciousness, she whispered his name under her breath.
"Qingyuan."
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