Three days later.
Su Xiaofei was seated in the backseat of the car with her husband on their way to meet Han Zijun. Ever since that night, she hadn't seen Lu Qingfeng until now. He didn't return to their bedroom to retire for the night, nor accompany her during meals. She knew that she was being unfair to him for forcing him to do something he didn't want, but their baby wasn't something she could easily and selfishly get rid of.
Lu Qingfeng wouldn't even give her a glance now, and she had no doubt that he was still upset with her. Su Xiaofei didn't want any of these and wished that she had been more careful. Had she not been poisoned, Lu Qingfeng wouldn't be torn in this conundrum with her.
She wanted to hug him, to tell him that everything will be alright, but she couldn't. Because there was no telling how this pregnancy would end for her and their baby.
She couldn't be this weak. Su Xiaofei knew that she needed to be strong in order to survive this ordeal together with her husband. She wasn't even that sick yet, and there must be something else they could do to keep their child and remove the poison from her system.
Su Xiaofei realized that Nine wasn't driving in the direction of the public market, where Han Zijun's pharmacy was located. Instead, he drove towards the outskirts of Qiying City, and they entered an exclusive subdivision that housed several estates owned by prominent wealthy families.
Lu Qingfeng waited for her to alight from the car and greeted Xi Qian who had arrived at Han Zijun's place before them. Su Xiaofei was left in Xi Qian's care as Lu Qinfeng walked ahead of them.
"He still hasn't talked to you?" Xi Qian frowned as she held Su Xiaofei's hand. The latter shook her head and could only sigh dejectedly.
"If he insists on treating you like this, I will kick his arse myself." Xi Qian glowered at Lu Qingfeng's back.
"Give him time, Qian. It's not easy to accept any of these." She replied.
Still, what if she didn't have the time?
It didn't matter, because she had already made up her mind to keep her baby. She wasn't going to abort it and let the person responsible for her poisoning ruin her life. But she needed Lu Qingfeng in this fight, she needed him to be there for her.
A servant of the Han household led them inside and brought them to a room filled with old books and scrolls, which Su Xiaofei had assumed to be Han Zijun's office. Lu Qingfeng sat across from the doctor, while the latter rose from his seat and gestured for Su Xiaofei to follow him.
"Let me check you first." Han Zijun said.
Su Xiaofei eyed her best friend and her husband, but only Xi Qian gave her an assuring smile. The fact that Lu Qingfeng hadn't told her anything nagged her. He was clearly sulking and she didn't have the strength to argue with him anymore.
—
Once she and Han Zijun were gone and went to the connected room, Xi Qian shot Lu Qingfeng a fierce glare. She knew that this was a lot to take for all of them, but Lu Qingfeng knew better than to treat his wife as coldly as he did.
"Stop being a prick and talk to Feifei. She needs you now more than ever. Whatever happened to your promise that you would take care of her?"
"Do you think it's easy for me to choose between her and our child's life? Do you think I want to see her walk to her own death and feel useless because I couldn't do anything to save her?" Lu Qingfeng snapped at her, his eyes showing his frustration.
"It kills me whenever I think that I would lose her and I couldn't do anything for her."
Lu Qingfeng hated himself for wanting to abort his own child, but he needed Su Xiaofei to survive. He knew that he would be broken beyond repair if he lost her. Looking at her pale complexion earlier, noticing that she was breathing faster than usual, was enough to make him worry to death.
He wasn't angry at her, because he knew how much Su Xiaofei wanted this child. Heck, he wanted it too, but not at the expense of her life. How could he bear to see her belly growing with their child when he knew that she was practically killing herself?
He couldn't just sit still and watch as she gets more and more ill each passing day. No, he couldn't, he wouldn't. Although he knew why Su Xiaofei didn't want to terminate this pregnancy, that didn't mean he was willing to lose her for the third time.
What was the point of being reborn again if he would lose her again? Lu Qingfeng knew that he had done a lot of terrible things in his previous life, so he strived to become a better person this time, but it seemed like that wasn't enough to warrant a happy life with Su Xiaofei.
What else did he need to do? What else should he give up for the heavens to give him that one thing his heart yearned for?
Was he really destined to live a life without Su Xiaofei?
Perhaps he was really foolish to cling on to an empty promise she made during their childhood, but Lu Qingfeng wasn't willing to experience that same hell all over again.
"That's not true." Xi Qian scowled. "Feifei needs you to understand her and support her with her choice. She's wondering if you would ever make peace with her decision. Don't turn your back on her now, Lu Qingfeng. You're not the only one who's hurting here."
Lu Qingfeng shook his head. He hadn't made peace with her choice, and he didn't think he'd be able to. Why couldn't Su Xiaofei understand that he was nothing without her? He wanted her to survive. Goddammit!
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