"Of course I know. Do you really plan to hide the truth from me, Feifei?"
The slight tremble in his voice almost broke Su Xiaofei. The dam she held back was threatening to burst again. From the look on his face, Su Xiaofei knew. Why else would she find her husband like this if Lu Qingfeng didn't know?
Guilt riddled on her face. This wasn't how she wanted to break the news to her husband.
She sobbed, tears now streaming down her face. She could feel her heart shattering at the sight of Lu Qingfeng's appearance. This was the same broken man she'd seen when she was a wandering ghost. There was no doubt that Lu Qingfeng was shit scared of the dreaded possibility.
"Darling, you have to calm down. It's not the end of the world yet, sweetheart." Su Xiaofei beckoned him to come to her, but he didn't move from where he was seated.
Lu Qingfeng looked at her with a pained expression on his face.
"You're pregnant." His tone was more like an accusation in her ears.
"Yes." Su Xiaofei didn't deny the truth from him. It was pointless to lie to him, when she knew he went out to seek the details he needed.
"I spoke with Han Zijun." He said, not breaking his gaze on her.
"And what options did he give you?"
"He said that the poison on your body would take time to take effect, but it's best if he could treat you as soon as possible. However, the treatments are harmful to our baby and it might trigger the poison to act harshly and kill it in the process."
Without the treatment, the poison would slowly eat her body from the inside, just like what happened in the past. The cold poison was already spreading, which meant that Su Xiaofei had had it for some time now, and she didn't know.
His eyes shimmered with tears. Lu Qingfeng felt breathless. How could their lives suddenly turn upside down? They were doing fine weren't they?
"You aren't going to die, Feifei. I won't let you. I cannot…" His voice trailed off, but Su Xiaofei understood what he was trying to say.
Lu Qingfeng said no more. His body shook as he sobbed. He was given a tough choice of letting go of her or their unborn child, and he was stuck in a conundrum. He felt a pair of arms around him and found that Su Xiaofei had come to him instead and held him.
"I'm so sorry for putting you in a difficult situation. I didn't mean for any of this to happen." Her voice cracked. "You know that as much as I love you, I love our child as much. I can't…"
Lu Qingfeng cried more. Just thinking of killing his baby was like a painful stab in his chest, but it was either their baby or his Feifei. He knew very well that he couldn't live without her and he didn't want to experience losing her all over again.
"It's going to be okay, A-Feng."
"No, Feifei. It won't be!"
He knew that she had already come to love the child and if he dared to force her to terminate this pregnancy, it would break her apart. Su Xiaofei would never forgive him, and she would end up hating him. She would see him as the monster he was, just like everyone else.
But which was worse for him? To be hated by her and knowing that she would live, or allow her to give birth to their child, only for her life to perish?
Others would say that they couldn't imagine a life without their other half, but Lu Qingfeng knew how it would be and he refused to experience that hell all over again.
"It's not going to be okay!" He cried into his wife's shoulder, clutching onto her as if he was afraid that he would lose her.
Why was the heavens punishing him—them, like this?
There was only one thing he wanted in his life, and that was for Su Xiaofei to lead a happy life, regardless if he was in it or not. Wasn't that why he kept his distance from her when he found out that she married Mo Yuchen in his previous life after he woke up from a long coma? He'd done so much for her sake, or was it for himself?
Regardless, Lu Qingfeng didn't want to lose her again. As sad as it was, the only way for Su Xiaofei to survive was to terminate this pregnancy.
"I should be the one who needs to apologize to you, Feifei. I failed you. I put you in this situation." He choked a sob. "I should have been more careful and shouldn't have gotten you pregnant. I should have done better to protect you."
Su Xiaofei's lips trembled.
"I'm not going to terminate the pregnancy, Lu Qingfeng." She said with conviction. "I'll give birth to this child alive, even if it kills me."
Lu Qingfeng pulled away and looked at her as if she had lost her mind.
"Feifei, if you don't terminate it, you will die and I'm not okay with that. I won't allow you to die and bury you for the second time!" He reminded her, which only proved Su Xiaofei's assumption back then, that he was reborn just like her.
"Then you should have known that this isn't the first time that this has happened to me." She eyed him. "Mo Yuchen chose to abort our baby to save my life in his own twisted way and now, you're in the same position as he was."
Lu Qingfeng had no words to refute what she had just said. He felt her cupping his face and saw her looking at him with a pained expression. He never wanted to see her like this. Not like this.
"Just like you, I came back to life for the second time. I fought so hard to change my fate and chose to be with you in this lifetime. However, it seems like I cannot truly avoid the death flag that awaits me."
This 𝓬ontent is taken from f(r)eeweb(n)ovel.𝒄𝒐𝙢