Yan Xiuchen knew he had it bad for her. After that sudden kiss they shared earlier, he couldn't get the memory out of his mind. Once Elder Meng left, he lifted his hand and traced his lower lip gently and blushed profusely. He then lowered his head and wondered if all that happened was nothing but a figment of his imagination.
Xiao Rufeng had kissed him! Kissed someone like him?! What was she even thinking?
He strode towards his room, down the dark hallways he was familiar with. Yan Xiuchen wasn't sure what made Xiao Rufeng kiss him, and wondered if she would regret it once she realized the seriousness of what she had done.
Yan Xiuchen stared at the empty gray walls of his bedroom. There wasn't much to see in his room except for a huge, immaculate bed at the center, a night stand and a window that allowed the moonlight to lit up the place and a door to the adjoining room that contained his private bathroom and walk in closet.
In his mansion, there were only two places where a mirror could be found. One was in his private office and the other one was in the room where Xiao Rufeng was staying. It was this way because he never liked seeing his own reflection staring back at him. It was enough for him to see people scampering away from him to remind himself that he was unwanted.
The next day, Xiao Rufeng came to his office as usual, but this time there seemed to be a permanent blush on her face and she couldn't look at him straight in the eyes. She still did her usual routine and didn't make any mistakes despite her mind being preoccupied.
Around lunchtime, they moved from his office to the dining room. By this time, Yan Xiuchen couldn't take her silence anymore. She used to be full of spirit and always had something to tell him, but now, she was so silent, it bothered him.
He lowered his fork and regarded her.
"What is it?" He asked, willing himself to remain calm while being fully aware of his racing heartbeat at that very moment.
"I-I…" Xiao Rufeng's gaze remained on her plate, as if she would rather look at it than turn to face him.
She swallowed hard, averting her gaze away from him. Xiao Rufeng didn't even know how to explain herself and why she kissed him last night.
She took a calming breath and decided to be truthful to him. Yan Xiuchen deserved that, and not the excuses her mind was trying to conjure.
"Last night… I shouldn't have kissed you."
The moment she said those words, Xiao Rufeng could see that it broke Yan Xiuchen. He didn't respond for a moment.
"I see." He said eventually and rose from his seat. Xiao Rufeng knew right then that she had made a mistake.
She followed after him and held his arm to stop him from leaving.
"I didn't mean—"
Yan Xiuchen turned to face her and gave her a withering look.
"You don't have to feel guilty about it, Miss Xiao. I truly understand what you mean." He said with a mocking laugh, but it sounded so bitter and cold to Xiao Rufeng.
"And you're leaving soon. What else do I have to do with you? You don't need to say more."
She frowned and her hold on his arm tightened. Xiao Rufeng was annoyed that he was selling himself short. He was an enigma to her, but she couldn't help but be fascinated by him.
She knew that after what her sister had done to her and how Jin Qiu broke her heart, she shouldn't let her guard down so easily, but Xiao Rufeng felt conflicted at this very moment.
A part of her wanted to let him be and pretend that he was just another man that was fascinated by her looks, but the other side of her wanted to probe these feelings she had for him, despite knowing that it could break her.
"Can't you listen to what I want to say first before jumping to conclusions?" She gave him a defying look.
Yan Xiuchen fell silent, and she took it as a cue for her to continue.
Xiao Rufeng lifted a hand, wanting to touch the scars on his face.
"May I?" She asked warily.
Yan Xiuchen's whole being wanting to say no, but he swallowed his pride and allowed her to touch him.
"You may." He answered, and it didn't take long before he felt her fingertips touching the scars on his face.
Yan Xiuchen stilled under her touch as she traced the scars on his cheek. The urge to slap away her hand was so strong, but he forced his hands to stay still on his sides and allowed Xiao Rufeng to take a look at his horrendous face that kept everyone away from him.
He wondered what she was thinking at that moment. Did she understand how broken and repulsive a man he was? That a woman as beautiful as her deserved a prince charming, and not a beast hiding in the dungeon.
Then he felt her tracing his jawline before moving to his mouth that was slightly twisted by his scars. One of the many reasons why he couldn't smile freely.
"You aren't as bad as you thought you are." She murmured, her eyes never leaving the scars on his face. "Every one of us has flaws, and it happens that yours are visible for everyone to see, but you aren't less than a person, a human than the rest of us, Yan Xiuchen. You aren't a monster."
She looked at him straight in his eyes as she said this. Yan Xiuchen would never be a hideous monster in her eyes.
"Do you know who's the real monster? My sister who looks so gentle and pretty but is so willing to sell her own sister for a favor, and you've saved me from her."
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